


When the Bough Breaks

by Cam719, westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Children, F/M, Family, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-19
Updated: 2009-02-19
Packaged: 2019-05-15 05:18:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 72,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cam719/pseuds/Cam719, https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: This is the sequel to Angels and Demons. It's the second part in a three-installment series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: If you didn't read Angels and Demons, this is NOT going to make a lick of sense to you.  


* * *

I fish my cell phone out of my pocket when I feel it vibrate; several people look at me. When my cell phones rings at night, it’s rarely good. But on the upside, it’s not work, since all those people are currently looking at me.

“It’s Mike.” I say when I see his number scroll across the screen. Donna nods and goes back to our conversation with Ellie Bartlet. I snap open my phone and press it to my ear. “What’s up?”

“I’m having a cow right now.” He says. He sounds like he’s in motion.

“What?”

“I’M FREAKING OUT!”

“Why?”

“I have to brief the President.”

“You brief the President all the time.”

“Not in the Residence of the White House.” He counters. Now I know why he’s in motion, he’s on his way here. “And not when it’s…”

“What?”

“Let’s just say he’s not going to be thrilled.”

This is an odd part of our jobs. There’s always stuff we’re not allowed to talk about to each other. In my job, I mostly should know everything Mike knows, but every now and then…

“Is this going to affect whether or not I can go home tonight?” I ask and Donna looks up at me again.

“You haven’t left work yet? It’s like 9:30. Donna’s gonna kill you.”

“She’s with me. We’re actually IN the Residence right now. It’s the President’s chili night.”

“I love chili!”

“Well, you can have some when you get here.”

“Yeah, I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“The Director will have my ass.”

“The President’s real proud of his chili, Mike, he’s going to order you to have some.”

“Well, he’s going to have to.”

“Where are you?” 

“On my way up the stairs.”

I snap my phone shut and look over at my wife. “Mike’s on his way over.”

“That doesn’t sound good.” CJ says who’s been sitting with us.

“Did you say Mike Casper’s on his way over?” Leo asks me.

“Yeah, he should be…” I say as Mike enters the sitting room.

“Agent Casper.” Leo nods to him and Mike greets him in return. “Follow me.” Leo says and leads him to the President’s private office. The President enters right after them and the door closes behind him.

“I wonder if we’re going to bed tonight.” CJ says to me. I look over at Donna and merely shrug.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Agent Casper, what’s going on?” Leo cuts right to the chase.

I try to absorb as quickly as I can my surroundings. I’m not sure if I’ll ever see the inside of the private study of the President of the United States. I’m constantly surprised what simply knowing Josh has gotten me in my career. I was not on the fast track to White House liaison, but since Josh trusts me, the President trusts me, and so here I am.

In the private study.

Of the President of the United States.

“Sir, have you ever been a patient of a Dr. Lee?” I ask.

“No.” the President says.

“Yes.” Leo replies. The President looks over at Leo in surprise. “He was your anesthesiologist the night of the shooting.” Leo walks over to the study door, opens it and beckons the First Lady in. He rejoins the President and me and we are immediately joined by Dr. Bartlet.

“What’s going on?” Abbey asks looking from Leo to me.

“I don’t know yet.” Leo replies. “But it sounds like something you’re going to want to hear. It somehow involves the President’s anesthesiologist from the night of the shooting.”

“Dr. Lee?” Abbey asks me and I nod.

“Is there a problem?”

“Yes.” I confirm. “Dr. Lee’s house was broken into while he was away on vacation. A safe was stolen. We believe it was an inside job involving his cleaning service because the alarm never went off.”

“What does that have to do with the President?” Leo asks.

“Dr. Lee tells us that the President’s medical records from the night of the shooting were in that safe.” I say. Leo’s eyes widen and Abbey sits down on a nearby chair. “Dr. Lee said because of the sensitive nature of the records, he never had them transcribed and they were his handwritten records that he kept locked in his safe.”

“Well, they’ve got to get the safe open, right?” the President says more to Leo. “I mean, they’re not what they used to be, right?” 

Well, this is…interesting. The three of them seem awfully concerned about the President’s medical records.

“If they stole the safe, I’m sure they can crack it.” I say. “And if they can’t, they can just blow the door off.” 

“That wasn’t very comforting, Agent Casper.” The President says dryly.

“That’s not my purpose here, Mr. President.” I reply. 

“Do you like chili, Agent Casper?” the President asks.

“I’m fine, sir.” I politely refuse.

“Agent Casper, go have a bowl of chili.” The President orders.

“Yes, sir.” I say. I believe I’m being evicted from the room. 

The President leads me to the door and pokes his head out. “Eleanor,” he says to his oldest daughter and motions her over. Eleanor Bartlet looks a little surprised but comes over to her father. “Would you be so kind as to get Agent Casper a heaping bowl of chili, please?” 

Ellie arches an eyebrow at her father and I’m about to protest again, but the study door closes after the President disappears behind it. Josh wanders over to me and looks at me expectantly. I know he doesn’t expect me to tell him what’s going on, not that I think it’s all that big of a deal, all the President’s physicals have been clear, what are the records going to show? Bust him for smoking four cigarettes a day? 

“Chili?” He smirks at me.

“Apparently.” I say.

“If you’d like to…sit down, Agent Casper…” Ellie says quietly and not quite meeting my eyes. “I’ll bring you some.”

“It’s really okay. “ I say to her. I’m not sure I’ve ever actually met her before.

“The President is going to come out of that room and ask you about his chili and what you thought of it.” Josh says pointing to the door behind him.

“To which you reply it needs more oregano.” Charlie pipes in. 

“I don’t think I’m going to do that.” I say to Charlie. Josh nods his head over to where he, Donna and CJ are sitting on some couches as Ellie disappears. 

I’m in the Residence of the White House and the First Daughter is about to serve me chili. 

I really should beat the shit out of Josh for getting me into all this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mike sits down across from me and out of the corner of my eye, I see Zoey Bartlet disappear into the kitchen after Ellie. 

I haven’t really gotten used to these little get togethers myself so I know how Mike feels right now. Yes, the First Family was at mine and Josh’s wedding and that was…surreal. This is the third time I’ve been invited to one of the President’s chili nights. 

Working for Matt, who has been the extremely vocal and public face of the Republican agenda while the President is in the middle of re-election, I’m not always sure I’m someone they want hanging around, even though I’m a democrat. It’s not always easy for Josh and I but then again, since the day Ainsley introduced us, it never has been.

“It’s nice in here.” Mike says looking around. 

“Will you at least tell me if I’m going to be allowed to go home tonight?” CJ demands.

“I’m sure you are.” Mike nods. “It’s just something that popped up in an investigation. It’s really no big deal.” 

“Good.” CJ nods. “With the re-election, I don’t get a whole hell of a lot of nights in my own bed.” 

Ellie returns and hands Mike a bowl of chili.

“Thanks.” Mike smiles at her. 

“You’re welcome.” She says quietly. Zoey plops down on the end of the couch, leaving Ellie the open spot right next to Mike. I see Ellie throw a glare over at her sister who smiles widely. 

Interesting…

Ellie’s not very talkative. She doesn’t seem all that comfortable around everyone here. From what Josh has told me, Ellie was virtually non-existent during the first campaign, unlike Zoey who was always around and Elizabeth, who’s married, but put in a lot more appearances than the Bartlets’ middle daughter. Josh said he’d never even met Ellie until the Convention and then she disappeared until Election Night. He says she’s very shy and takes great pains to stay away from the limelight and usually the White House.

“This is pretty good!” Mike says. 

“Doesn’t it need more oregano?” Charlie asks.

“It needs more cumin.” Zoey says throwing a look over to Charlie.

“Nah.” Mike says, taking another heaping spoonful. “It could use something to cut the bite though.”

“That’s…” Ellie pipes up. Everyone looks over at her and she looks like she wants to shrink into the couch. “…that’s what I’ve always said.”

“Like a barbeque sauce.” Mike nods to her.

“I’ve always thought maybe something like French Onion soup.” She says quietly. 

Mike pauses and looks over at her. “That could be really good.” She smiles and looks down.

The study door opens again. The First Lady huffs away and then we hear a door slam. “Uh-oh.” Josh says under his breath. The President and Leo emerge and Mike thrusts the chili bowl at me and stands up. 

“Boy did YOU create a mess.” The President says to Mike, who’s eyes go real wide.

“I’m sorry, sir?” Mike squeaks.

“Well, not you.” The President says. “I guess I’m just shooting the messenger.”

“Sorry, sir.” Mike replies. 

“So, Mike, what did you think of the chili?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“JACKIE!” I bellow zooming into my office. I’d like to get out of here sometime tonight. The President and Leo are all freaked out by the President’s medical records being stolen. I don’t know what the big deal is. They get released with his physical report once a year. 

My assistant comes into the room. She looks unhappy.

“What?” I ask.

“Would it kill you, Josh, to use the intercom?” she demands. Jackie’s been with me about a year now. She’s snarky; Donna loves her.

“Yes?” I reply.

“What do you need?” 

“I’m outta here.”

“Not yet.” She says.

I drop my head to my chest and sigh. “So close. What?”

“Ellie.” She says gesturing like I’m an idiot. I look at my visitor chair and sure enough, Ellie Bartlet is sitting there. I didn’t even see her there!

“Shit, Ellie!” I yelp. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you were in here.”

“It’s okay.” She says in her token quiet voice. 

“What can I…what do you need?” I ask as Jackie leaves my office and closes the door. I am stunned right now. I can’t remember Ellie ever coming into the West Wing, let alone looking for me.

“I was wondering...” she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Instead of sitting behind my desk, I lean up against it in front. “…I feel like an idiot, but Zoey suggested…”

“Ellie, is everything all right?”

“Oh yeah.” She nods. “I was just wondering…Zoey says you’re friends with Agent Casper and I was wondering if you could tell me if he was seeing anyone.”

She rambles it all out and I look at her speechless. My brain is trying to process exactly what she just said.

“Josh?” she prompts when I guess she thinks too much time has gone by.

“No!” I say shaking my brain into a functioning capacity. “No, he’s not. He was seeing someone for a little while a while back, but that didn’t really work out. He’s not seeing anyone now.” 

“Okay.” She nods and stands up. 

“That’s it?” I ask.

“Well, I don’t want to seem like…” she starts and I smile a bit. “I don’t want to be too presumptuous…”

God I thought I was bad at that stuff! Thank God Donna came along and saved me from this mortification!

“Ellie, would you like me to arrange for another meeting so you can get to know him a little better?” I offer. The President’s going to kill me. “I can do it in a group thing like tonight so you can talk to him a little more without any pressure.”

“Yeah.” She smiles slowly then she turns serious. “Don’t tell anyone about this though.” 

“Oh no, not at all.” I say shaking my head, but I’m totally telling Donna.

TBC


	2. When the Bough Breaks

“Donnatella!” I hear the delighted tones of Agent Mike Casper on the line. Can I say straight out that that’s unusual? Mike, on a VERY good day, may show…happiness by way of a smile or a wry grin. His voice today though sounds like if I could see his face his eyes would be sparkling and all his teeth would be showing in a full out smile.

“Good morning Michael. You sound very…happy for a Monday morning.” I note. 

“I have something for you and I wanted to make sure you were there before I dropped it off.” Mike reports. 

“Hmmmm…is this something for me? Or something for me to give to Josh?” I ask for clarification.

“Please! This is for you and you alone. It’s to express my appreciation for the lovely gathering you hosted last night.” He explains and the lightrbulb goes off. He’s happy about spending some semi-private time with Ellie Bartlet. Now it all makes sense to me! After Josh reported his conversation with Ellie to me and I engaged in some subtle investigations to determine that Mike was likewise interested in another opportunity to spend some time with Ellie, I started putting together plans for Operation Casper. It all came to fruition last night at our place. 

I included Sam and Ainsley, Matt and Scott, Chris and Ginger, and Mike and Ellie…there was really no point in trying to be subtle. We had a casual dinner (Chinese take out in the mural room while we played some poker. Mike spent more time than was strictly necessary teaching Ellie the rules but it was cute to watch In any case, everyone but me got nicely buzzed on beer or wine (we’re still working on the baby thing) and we had a wonderful evening. Ellie and Mike (and her detail) were the last ones to leave. 

“Then by all means, stop on by.” I tell him just before the office door blows open.

“I will. Decaf!” He smiles at me through the doorway, brandishing a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. It’s honestly difficult to determine which gift pleases me more. On impulse, I go with the coffee. While we’re waiting for news on the baby front, I have to make do with decaffeinated. With one hand now free, Mike leans down to pick up the mail that had been shoved under the door this morning and hands that to me as well.

“I have to say, I approve of your tokens of gratitude.” I tell him and start sorting through the mail. Yes, technically it’s Sherry’s job, but I’m in here earlier than her almost everyday and I can be a team player. 

“Good, because I am full of gratitude.” Mike expounds. “Plus…I was wondering if I could ask another favor.”

“Would this have anything to do with plans involving Secret Service?”

“It might.” Mike hedges.

“Just call the woman, Michael. She clearly likes you. Can you imagine how motivated she had to be to go to JOSH and ask about you?”

“I get that, and it’s mutual but she’s very shy and I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I thought maybe if next time, just the four of us went out…”

“Fine.” I agree. “But you have to talk to her about which night. Between her residency hours and your crazy schedule at the FBI, scheduling a night out is next to impossible.” I lay out my terms.

“Deal.” Mike agrees a little too readily. “I thought we could go out someplace. I’ll even treat.”

“Let me guess. I need to make the reservations.” I take a stab in the dark.

“That would be great! Thanks, Donna, you’re one in a million.”

“Tell Josh.” I quip.

“Like I’d have to.” He drawls. “The sun rises and sets on his Donnatella.” 

I’m being a little paranoid I guess, but every time we get the news that our baby making efforts have been unsuccessful, he has this look on his face; like he’s disappointed in me. Maybe I’m wrong, but how long can we go on like this before he begins to resent me or the fact that we haven’t been able to conceive? It makes me nervous. 

“This is weird.” I hold up a plain brown envelope with ‘Congressman Skinner’ written on it in black marker. There’s nothing else written on it at all. Someone had to have hand delivered it, but there’s no indication of where, or who, it came from.

“Give it here.” Mike demanded and I give him a skeptical look. “I’m not stealing Congressional secrets, Donna. This is my business; identifying potential threats.”

“And you think this is a potential threat?” I wave the envelope at him.

“You said yourself that it’s ‘weird’.” Mike answers. “The first rule in threat assessment? Listen to the little voice in your head when it tells you something is off. Give it here.” He takes a couple tissues from the box on my desk and I reluctantly hand him the envelope. He uses my letter open to carefully slice an opening across the top. Then he takes another tissue to reach in and draw out a few pieces of paper. Seeing nothing suspicious, he hands me the papers and I start to read what’s on them while Mike continues his ‘investigation’ of the envelope. Once the words on the paper register with me, my jaw drops open and I sink onto my chair.

“Donna? You okay? You look pale.” Mike’s voice registers though the buzzing in my ears. I look up at him blankly. 

“Is there anything else in the envelope, Mike?” He looks again but shakes his head ‘no’.

“Is it a threat of some kind, Donna?” He’s trying to ask questions without stepping over the line of privacy here. 

“No, not exactly. I mean, no, it’s not a threat; just some confidential information. I’d like to be able to tell the Congressman where it came from.” I explain.

“With your permission…I could run this for prints.” He suggests still holding the envelope by a tissue and I nod ‘yes’. What the hell am I going to do with this?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve been walking around for an hour hoping to hear something back from Mike, but I guess a fast answer is unreasonable in this kind of situation and regardless of the answer I get from Mike, I still haven’t figured out what to do with this; the medical records folded neatly in my purse. Multiple Sclerosis? The President has Multiple Sclerosis? It can’t be true. It must be some kind of re-election scam. I’ve been around Josh long enough to hear some nasty stories about what some people will do to bring a political opponent down. This must have something to do with re-election. 

What if I burned it? Just set it on fire and pretend I never saw it. I ponder that a few minutes before I see it as the futile act that it would be. Whoever sent this copy would obviously have others. I doubt Congressman Skinner was the only one to receive a copy. I wonder who else knows. I wonder if I should even – God! Does Josh know? Could Josh know something about the President concealing this very serious illness and not tell anyone? I know Josh loves to win, but he’d never be okay with something like that, would he? My thoughts are swirling and my stomach is pitching. Finally I decide to do what I should have done an hour ago. I march right back to the office and after a brief knock interrupt Matt’s meeting with his budget advisor.

“Donna? Is everything okay?” Matt asks carefully. 

“I need to speak with you…now.” I tell him.

Donna looks like she’s seen a ghost. My immediate thought is that she’s sick, or Josh is sick. That’s how seriously she’s looking at me right now. I nod a dismissal at my budget advisor, and he makes quick work of exiting my inner sanctum. She waits until he closes the door behind him before she pulls some papers out of her purse and hands them to me. 

Curiouser and curiouser. I take the papers from her and blink in surprise when I see they’re marked as the medical chart notes for President Bartlet the night of the shooting in Rosslyn.

“Donna…” I start to ask questions but she shakes me off. 

“Keep reading.” She insists, so I do. Dear God. Multiple Sclerosis? Now I’m afraid I look as pale and shaky as Donna does. 

“Where the hell did you get these?” I demand as a though occurs to me. “You didn’t get these from Josh?”

“NO!” She’s quick to defend her husband and my friend and I feel a slight sense of relief. “It was slipped under the door this morning with the rest of the mail. Mike was here when I opened it. There was nothing on the envelope but your name and title…I let Mike take the envelope to see if he could get prints off it.” She says that last part nervously, like she’s afraid I’m going to slam her for it. Frankly, I think it’s an excellent idea and tell her so. I want to know who has this and what they think I’m supposed to do with this.

“Matt…what do we do with this?” She asks quietly and her voice breaks. “This is going to kill Josh…”

“Not to mention re-election if it’s true.” I deduce. 

“You think maybe it’s a lie? Maybe someone’s doing this to mess up the re-election campaign?” She asks me hopefully. Personally, I doubt it just because of the seeming authenticity of the records, but I can’t know for sure.

“Maybe.” I allow; might as well let her have hope for now. Finally, I lift my eyes to meet hers and see they’re filled with unshed tears. “Get me in Josh’s office.” I order and she immediately picks up the phone on my desk and dials him direct. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What’s with the cloak and dagger, Matthew?” Josh jokes with me when I enter his office. His eyebrows shoot up when I pause to close all his doors before replying in any way. “Is our relationship about to change?”

“It very well may. This was left anonymously at my office today.” I tell him ominously and drop the papers unceremoniously on his desk before taking a seat in the visitor chair while he catches up on his reading. I see the immediate surprise when he recognizes what the papers are and then the shock when he gets to Dr. Lee’s notes on the M.S. Part of me is relieved to see the shock. I sincerely doubted Josh would be a party to this kind of cover up, but I wasn’t 100% sure he wasn’t kept out of the loop during the election and brought inside at some point later. Now, I’m sure and heave a sigh of relief.

“What the hell is this shit? Where did it come from?” Josh asks.

“It’s not true?” I ask tentatively.

“Absolutely not.” Josh tosses the papers on the desk. “Somebody’s messing with you, Matt. You’ve been out front for your party and they want you to lob unsubstantiated rumors about the President’s health to cripple him coming out of the gate on re-election.”

“You sure?” I ask.

“It makes perfect sense. This gets leaked out anonymously a week after the break in at Dr. Lee’s and…” Josh trails off and he gets a panicked look on his face. His feet, that had been resting comfortably on his desk, drop to the floor. “JACKIE!!” He shouts and his long suffering assistant appears in the doorway.

“Honest to God, Joshua, it’s just one little button that you press when you want--” Jackie begins the intercom lecture.

“Get me Leo. Tell him it’s about an old friend from home.” Josh instructs her. Once she leaves he gets up to put on his suit coat, grab the papers, and turns his attention back to me. “You stay RIGHT HERE until I get back. Hell of a way to start a Monday morning.” He complains as he makes tracks to the Chief of Staff’s office. Hell of a way indeed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I storm Leo’s office like I’m taking it over. Leo comes in from the Oval, a perplexed look on his face.

“What the hell did you drag me into?” I ask point blank. 

“Can you narrow down your field of accusation? And take your voice down, please.” He admonishes me throwing a glance to the door still standing open to the Oval.

“I don’t care if he hears.” I tell him and see his eyes go wide at my obvious disrespect. If I’m right, and I think I am, the man next door isn’t deserving of my respect. God, please let me be wrong. “Is this true?” I toss the papers to him and he struggles to catch them and read them at the same time. It doesn’t take five seconds for understanding to dawn. He shuts both doors; there’s a lot of that going on today.

“Where did you get this?”

“Is it true?”

“Yes, where did you get this?” He repeats.

“The President conspired to hide a debilitating illness from the public who elected him and your response is ‘where did you get this’?” I nearly shout.

“Yes.”

“From Matt Skinner. Somebody left them at his office today. Can we get back to the President lying now, please?” 

“He didn’t lie.” Leo tells me with a straight face. He’s a hell of a poker player is Leo McGarry. I decide to skip over the semantics…for now.

“How could you bring me on board here knowing this? Jesus, Leo! Hoynes has his issues but things were going pretty well for us when you came waltzing in with your ‘real deal’ candidate.” 

“I didn’t know then.” I keep looking at him looking for something that tells me he’s not lying to me still. I can’t find it. “I didn’t know then, Josh, I swear. I didn’t find out until later.”

“How much later?”

“Are we going to do this now?” He asks wearily.

“Yeah, we are. How much later?” I demand.

He pauses and closes his eyes. He might as well get used to answering these questions with me. Soon, it won’t be such friendly voices demanding answers. Not that I’m feeling friendly at the moment, but…

“The State of the Union….when he collapsed right before? Broke the pitcher in the Oval?” He attempts to jog my memory.

“You told me that was the flu!” I’m back to shouting now.

“I told you it was the flu because I was told it was the flu. It wasn’t until the next day that I--”

“I’m leaving for the day.” I interrupt and announce as I walk toward the door. The son of a bitch knew this WHOLE time and just let me…We just announced for re-election! What the hell kind of hole have he and Bartlet dug for us all!

“Excuse me?”

“I’m leaving for the day…and I’ll think about whether I’m coming back tomorrow.” I see Leo close his eyes briefly, like he’s in pain, before I open the door to exit and slam it shut behind me. People literally scurry out of my way when they see me coming down the hall. How I’m feeling right now must be reflected on my face. Son. Of. A. Bitch!

I slam my office door shut behind me and see Matt perusing the Post while he waits for me. He looks up when I enter and takes one look at my face before he speaks.

“Shit.” Is his only comment.

“I’m leaving for the day and going to get drunk. Care to join me?” I invite him while I pack up my backpack.

“Why not?” He shrugs. “Let’s go to my place. I’m well stocked in the liquor department and we won’t be disturbed by anyone.”

“Done.” I agree. “Jackie?!

Again, she appears in my doorway, and thanks be to God, doesn’t even mention the fucking intercom.

“I’m leaving for the day. Reschedule what you can, cancel what you can’t.”

“Is something wrong? Is Donna okay?” Jackie has put Matt’s presence together with my unprecedented departure from the office mid-morning to mean something’s wrong with Donna. She’s a pretty great assistant and a nice woman.

“She’s fine, I promise. I just…need to go. If anything urgent comes up, make sure Leo’s office gets it. I’m sure he can handle something dire.” I drawl and Matt guffaws at my inside joke.

Before long, we’re tossing back drinks at Matt’s place. He has an incredible place. I didn’t realize Congressman could afford places like this. Oh, yeah, I forgot; Matt’s loaded.

“When does Scott get home?” I ask idly while I toss back the rest of my second bottle of beer.

“He’s got a partner meeting, so we won’t see him until later tonight.” He assures me.

“I should call Donna.”

“I already did.” Matt smiles. “She knows you’re here and safe.” 

“I don’t want to tell her.” I admit.

“You don’t have to.” Matt sighs. “She was the one who opened the anonymous envelope with the pages inside.”

I nearly drop the bottle of beer. “Shit.” I shake my head in sadness. Like we haven’t had enough stress at our house these days. Every month at this time comes the big ‘test’ to see if we’re pregnant yet. Another two days will mark the time for another test. Each successive month with negative results seem to plunge Donna deeper into a depression. She doesn’t need to deal with this right now…not that any of us do.

“She’ll be okay. You both will. You’ve got each other.” Matt points out.

I scoff at that and he picks up on the unspoken part of that sentence. We ONLY have each other and not the long awaited baby we’ve both been hoping for. Somehow, I can’t help but think it’s my fault. I have this reverse Midas touch thing with people I’m close to. 

“That will work out too.” Matt says quietly. “You and Donna were meant to be parents.”

I lean my head back against his incredibly comfortable cushions. “I can’t believe Leo didn’t tell me.” I finally voice the betrayal I’ve been feeling.

“I’m sorry, man. I was really hoping it was just campaign dirty tricks.” Matt says sincerely. I know he means it. As much as he may disagree with Bartlet about policy issues, he’s always had respect for the man and the office. It’s part of why we’ve been able to work together so well on so many divergent issues.

“I don’t know if I can go back there tomorrow.” I say quietly. “I’m so pissed right now.”

“Rightfully so.” Matt agrees. “But you should talk to the President before you make any permanent decisions.”

“He LIED to us Matt!” I explode with it.

“I know.” 

“He let us launch this whole thing and he- Leo’s known since--”

“Don’t.” Matt stops me. “You know this is going to end up in a special prosecutor’s office. Don’t add anything more that I’ll have to testify about, okay?”

I nod. He’s right. He’s been dragged into this thing too, now. How ironic is that? 

“Who sent it to you, Matt? That’s what I want to know. And who else has it?”

“Mike’s checking the envelope for prints.” He informs me. “He was there when Donna opened the envelope, but he doesn’t know the contents. As for who else has it? I have no clue. But my hunch is that if I don’t do something with it soon, it’s going to find its way to many more Republican Congressional offices. You’ve got one, maybe two days to figure out how to disclose it yourselves.” 

“You mean THEY have to figure it out.” I correct him. 

He shrugs again. “I say we order some food and turn a sporting event on TV.” Matt offers.

“On a Monday? At…” I consult my watch. “Eleven in the morning?”

“I’ve got satellite, man.” He smiles. What the hell?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ve come for the body of Joshua Lyman?” I say once Matt drunkenly opens the door.

“DONNA!” He shouts in apparent glee. “Josh! Donna’s here!”

“My woman!” Josh calls back. My they are quite a pair, these two.

“This is what you’ve been up to all day while I’ve been covering your ass at the office?” I ask Matt holding a beer bottle aloft.

“That one was Josh’s actually.” He chuckles at what he thinks is a funny comment.

“Uh-huh.” I walk over to where ‘my man’ is nearly passed out on the couch. “Time to hit the road, Joshua.”

“But it’s so nice here. Let’s just stay here, Donna. We could be a family with Matt and Scott.” He decides.

“Well, that’s very enticing. Matt is much neater than you are and Scott is a much better cook.” I opine. “Let’s go home and pack.”

“Yes!” Josh pumps his fist in the air. “And it’s going to work out great since I’m going to be unemployed and Matt can support us in the matter to which we’ve become accustomed.”

Only my husband could spit out a phrase like that when he’s three sheets to the wind.

“Leo finally fired your sorry ass?” I ask.

“I quit.” He explains and I look over at Matt for confirmation who shrugs. “Well, not yet, but I’m gonna. They fucking lied to me, Donna. They let me go out front on this and they lied to me about it!”

“Josh. Stop.” I throw another glance at Matt who appears unimpressed by this information. I’m guessing, therefore, that this matter has already been discussed to some degree. “Baby, let me take you home now. Things will be better after you’ve had some sleep.”

“Uh-uh.” Josh shakes his head ‘no’. “Things will never be better again.”

Well…I don’t know that I can argue with that.

“Let’s go, Josh. I need you to come home with me.” I pout and he responds accordingly, rising shakily to his feet. “Thanks for babysitting, Matt.”

“He’s an excellent babysitter.” Josh shares. “When we get pregnant, we’re going to need someone like him around.”

I close my eyes against the pain that statement causes me. When I open them again, Josh looks at me with eyes more sober than I thought they were.

“It’ll happen, Donna.” He promises.

“How do you know?” I whisper back.

“Matt said it would.” He pats my cheek and walks past me to pick up his coat and walk to the door. 

“Well, then, if Matt says so…” I trail off sending a grateful smile to the man in question and take my drunken husband home.

TBC


	3. When the Bough Breaks

I roll over in bed and instead of coming in contact with my husband I get a handful of sheets.

I pick my head up and open one eye. He’s probably puking in the bathroom.

“Josh?” I call out.

“Over here, baby.” I hear. When I look to the corner of the room, I see him pulling his running shoes on and he’s dressed to go for a run.

“What are you doing?” I ask the obvious question, but he should be miserable right now. 

“Going for a run.” He predictably replies.

“Aren’t you hungover?”

“Not really. I drank a lot of water. I couldn’t sleep last night so I got up and sobered up and hydrated and now I need to go clear my head.” He gets his shoes on and puts his hands on his hips.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“Nah, you stay here.” 

“Well, I have to get up and go to work soon.”

“Matt said you could have the morning off since you covered everything yesterday while he got drunk.” 

“He did?” I ask skeptically. Josh is infamous for saying things like that to get me to blow off work and stay home in bed with him…except he never gets to blow off work.

“I promise.” He nods. I decide to trust him. Good thing I work for his best friend.

“So you’re not going to work today?” I ask sitting up. 

“I don’t know yet.” He sighs. “I just…I mean, I know that I have to get all the answers first before I really make that kind of decision, but I can’t get past the lie. Donna, he’s known about this.”

“We’re supposed to go out with Mike and Ellie tonight.” I remind him softly and he swears.

“You have to get me out of it.”

“Josh…”

“Donna, I don’t want to take my anger at the President out on his daughter.”

“So don’t.” I shrug.

“Yeah, when have you ever known me to be that mature?”

“You can start tonight. Maybe instead of the misdirected anger, you can talk to Ellie about it. Ellie’s got to know about it. And you know by the time we get to dinner, this will have gone through the channels and she’ll know you know.”

“Mike doesn’t know.” 

“No, he doesn’t.” I reply. 

“I can’t talk to her about it in a restaurant, Donna. I can’t risk someone overhearing that, she’s the President’s daughter. People notice her when she goes out.” 

“Why don’t we change the location to here then?” I suggest. “Josh, I don’t pretend to understand how upset this is really making you. I know how betrayed you feel. But this is also really important to Mike. He finally found someone he’s really interested in. Ellie’s a doctor and the daughter of the President; she can answer a lot of your questions, Josh.”

He sighs heavily and looks at me then nods. He crawls across the bed and kisses me before bounding off. That’s my man; totally incapacitated one night and leaping tall buildings in a single bound by morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I run…and run…and run… and run…I’m surprised I’m not in Maryland by now. I just keep going because my head’s not clear yet. I can’t begin to wrap my mind around this. This is so big that…that’s it. This is just enormous. 

Who knows about this? Dr. Lee, yes. Did the President’s medical team that night know or did only Dr. Lee need to know? What about the President’s regular physician? Does he know? I mean, how many people are involved in this?

There’s the President and First Lady, their three daughters, probably Liz’s husband Doug, Leo. I’m at at least seven. Does Charlie know? 

The unknown is what’s making me nuts. Whoever sent the records to Matt knows and they wouldn’t have sent them to just Matt, but would they have been smart enough to send them to the majority leader or Speaker Walken? The Vice President must know. 

That’s probably…shit. That’s probably why he was polling a few months back.

SHIT!

I pick up my pace again as I hit the Mall. I don’t want to give anyone the chance to recognize me, so I run away from the paths on the grass. 

And of course it’s got to be Donna that opened the mail yesterday. I guess its better that it was her and not Sherry. At least I know Donna can be trusted not to say anything. Sherry hates me and she’s not overly fond of Donna. This is all because she’s got or had a crush on me and I got together with Donna, not that I’ve ever so much as flirted with Sherry, and then by way of peace offering, Donna set her up with Mike and that lasted all of three dates before Mike dumped her.

Not to mention, Donna’s a democrat. So I guess if anyone in that office had to open it, it’s good that it was the democrat. Of course, I’M a democrat and I’m not feeling all that good about it right now…

I don’t even know what MS is. I mean, of course I know what it is, but I don’t know much about it. I know it’s a degenerative illness with no known cure. 

Well, what else do I really need to know, right? The President of the United States has a degenerative illness with no known cure.

That he hid from the American public.

I have the overwhelming urge to start drinking again.

I think Donna’s right though. I think taking the day off to do some research on my own and talk to Ellie before I confront the President is definitely a good idea. If I go into the Oval Office better educated and calmer, it will be better for everyone. Plus, I may even have some kind of strategy…should I decide to stay. This all may end up being a big `ol black eye on my resume.

What really has me backed into a corner right now is I don’t know if I even have a day to take off. I don’t know who else has this and whether or not they’re going to start leaning on Matt. I know Matt wants to let us come clean on our own, but I don’t know if others will see it that way.

“Shit.” I swear to myself and pull out my cell phone. I hit 3 and send.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me, Leo.” 

He’s silent for a moment. “How you doing?” 

“I’m going to spend the day on the computer. Ellie Bartlet’s coming over tonight and I’ve decided to talk to her.”

“Josh…”

“If you want cooler heads to prevail in the Oval, Leo, this is the way it has to be.”

“So, you’re coming back?”

“Tomorrow? Yes. I haven’t decided if I’m staying yet.” I say and hear him sigh. “Leo, I’m telling you now, I refuse to be the only one on the staff that knows this. I’m not going to be the patsy fall guy.”

“It might interest you to know he hasn’t broken a law.”

“Are you KIDDING me?” I laugh.

“And nobody has ever been asked to lie.”

“That’s rich!” I scoff.

“Everyone has been free to speak to whomever they want.” He insists.

“And miraculously all these mystery people all just keep the secret?” I laugh without mirth. “THAT’S been the plan all this time? Well, guess what. That plan tanks here because I am not just going to keep the secret and I sure as hell refuse to be the only one on the staff that knows. Either you tell them, or I tell them when I get in tomorrow.”

“But you ARE coming in tomorrow?” I don’t think I’ve ever heard Leo McGarry nervous before.

“Yes.” I say with complete conviction. “Leo?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t teach me this.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ve been instructed to tell you anything you want to know.” Ellie says quietly as soon as she steps through the door. It was arranged that she’d come over about an hour before Mike got here. 

“Anything?” I ask and she nods.

“They don’t want you to quit, Josh.”

“I’m not remotely close to making that decision.” I reply. Her eyes widen a bit at that, but she doesn’t say anything. Ellie has been notorious for not getting involved in anything to do with politics, so I guess I’m talking to the right person right now. I gesture to the living room and we both sit down on the couch. Donna has thankfully made herself scarce. The less she has to testify about, the better.

I’m pretty sure I’ve made the decision to stick it out. I don’t want my as yet unconceived children to ever look back and think I did something wrong.

“So, what do you want to know?”

“Everything. Everything you can tell me. I have a vague knowledge, but I don’t even know what it really is.”

“Multiple Sclerosis is an autoimmune condition in which the immune system attacks the central nervous system. It leads to something called demyelination. What that means is it damages neurons. It impairs nerves, sensation, movement…” she starts.

“Cognition?” I ask and she nods.

“It usually occurs first in young adults, but with my father it started about ten years ago.”

“What exactly started?” I ask.

“It started with a pain in his leg. He started to feel run down. That went away.”

“Let me guess, everyone thought it was the flu?” I ask dryly.

“Yeah.” She nods and continues. “In a couple of years, it came back. He’d get dizzy, his vision would get blurry. Because of that, my mother sent him to an eye doctor. The eye doctor noticed an abnormal pupil response and ordered an MRI. The MRI showed plaque on his brain and spine.”

“Why doesn’t this show up now?”

“It’s in remission.” She says. “It’s a relapsing remitting course of MS, which means it comes and goes, but when it’s in remission, nothing shows up on a physical.” 

“Am I right that there’s no known cure for it?”

“Yes.” She whispers and I jump up and pace. 

“And when it comes back, when he has an episode, how does it get treated?”

“Normally with corticosteroid shots. He takes betaseron.” 

“So a doctor somewhere has written a prescription for…” I cut myself off as the awful realization hits me. “Not A doctor, your mother.”

“Yes.” Ellie confesses. “My mother fills the prescriptions and gives him the shots.” 

“We campaigned all over the country. How many states is that illegal in?”

“I have no idea.” She says. “I really don’t, Josh.” I laugh hollowly and she continues. “He’ll live a normal life span…”

“Ellie, he’s the Commander in Chief of the most powerful army in the history of the world and he leads the last super power! He can’t have dizziness and loss of cognitive function in the situation room!” I shout and immediately apologize when I see her flinch. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I don’t mean to take it out on you. I swear I don’t.”

“It’s okay.” She says softly.

“Who knows?” I ask my burning question.

“I don’t know.” She says. “I really don’t know who all knows. My sisters do. I’m not even sure my whole family does. Leo does. My father told the Vice President the night of the convention and some doctors along the way. But I don’t know who knows that he works with other than Leo…oh, and Charlie. I know Zoey told Charlie so he could keep any eye out for symptoms and tell my mom.”

All right. Looks like I’ll be commiserating with Charlie in the extremely near future.

“He’s never asked anyone to lie for him, Josh.”

“I can’t cover this for him.” I say softly, looking directly at her. I feel so deflated right now.

“I know. They know.” She says. “If Congressman Skinner has it, I imagine so does someone else and they know that. You can help him, Josh.” 

“Ellie, I’m not sure all the lawyers and best political minds in the world can help him right now.” I scoff.

“You’re one of the best political minds in the world, Josh, and you CAN help him. You can help him make it right.” She’s so earnest right now. She reminds me of Donna. This is the ‘Save us, Josh’ card. Well played, McGarry.

“I’m not his political Jiminey Cricket.” I say, not meeting her eyes and sit down on the couch next to her.

“But you are.” She says. “You all are. You, Toby, CJ, Sam, you all are his political conscience, you always have been and your instincts have always been right.” 

“Does he even want to win again, Ellie?”

“I don’t know. I think he does, but I don’t think my mom wants him to.” She confesses. “What about you? Do you want him to win again?”

Well, that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?

TBC


	4. When the Bough Breaks

“I’m just saying that we’re already running late. Let’s just wait until tomorrow.” Josh suggests. It’s a perfectly logical suggestion. Ellie and Mike were here quite late last night, and despite Josh’s rather subdued demeanor, everyone had a great time. It might have even helped Josh shake off some of his anxiety over what’s going to happen next with the President’s situation. 

However, I know he has an ulterior motive. Tomorrow is Saturday. If we wait to take the pregnancy test until tomorrow, good news or bad, we’ll deal with the outcome alone; without the prying eyes of everyone at the office trying to figure out why my eyes are all red from crying. That came out badly. It was unnecessarily negative. I guess I’m just preparing myself for the worst so I’m not as hugely disappointed as I’ve been every month for ages!

“Okay. Let’s wait until tomorrow.” I agree. Seriously, what’s one more day going to hurt? 

“Good.” Josh nods decisively. “Let’s go, Donnatella.” He’s giving me a ride to work today which tells me he isn’t planning on staying late. I know Matt said I could have the time off, but Josh isn’t staying home and it’s really no fun to stay home by myself. There’s been no leak or rumor so far about the President’s health, but it’s coming. We all know it is. They’re going to have to do some major brainstorming today. I imagine by the time the end of the day rolls around, my man is going to be wiped mentally and emotionally. He already told me he’s meeting the President in the Oval first thing before staff.

“I’m ready.” I call back. I grab my purse and my briefcase and head down the hall on my way out. Something strange happens though, when I pass the bathroom. Of their own volition, my legs carry me inside, my arms open up the medicine chest and grab the pregnancy test. Somehow, it ends up in my purse. That was totally predictable though, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m so glad Donna agreed to wait to do the test tomorrow. Neither of us really needs the added stress of getting that answer right now.

I drop Donna off with a brief distracted kiss; I’m already contemplating my meeting with the President. Every step I take from my office to the Oval seems to add weight directly on my shoulders. I detour through Leo’s office and he gives me a brief nod and thorough looking over before he leads me into the Oval. I think he’s concerned about PTSD issues rearing their ugly head. 

“Good morning, Mr. President.” Leo offers after closing the door behind us. I notice that Charlie has closed the others doors, but he’s remaining inside. We exchange grimaces.

“Have a seat, Josh.” President Bartlet tells me.

“I’d prefer to stand, sir.”

“So you can make a speedy exit?” He quips but I find no humor in his joke, mostly because there’s a grain of truth in it.

“Sir, we need to get the rest of the senior staff in here and I mean now, right now, and make some decisions. You dodged the bullet so far. Congressman Skinner isn’t going to release the information, but someone will soon and then it’s going to be too late to even contemplate a strategy. By then all you’ll be able to do is figure out a way to hold on to your seat `til the end of the term…if you’re lucky.”

“Don’t sugar coat it for me, Josh, tell me what you really think.” The President drawls. 

“Permission to speak candidly, sir?”

The President looks at Leo who shrugs in a ‘you’re taking a chance’ gesture.

“Go ahead.” The President says quietly.

“I can’t find the words to express how angry I feel about this being kept from us. C.J., Toby, Sam and I have all…we deserved to know this information!” My voice raises a bit so I take a deep breath and start again. “There is going to be investigation, sir. A big, messy, ugly investigation and your senior staff is going to be taken out for a ride. I only mention it sir, because we had no knowledge of or part in the conspiracy to cover up a degenerative illness in order to win an election.”

“Josh!” Leo snaps at me, but I ignore him. This has been building up inside me ever since I found out Leo knew long ago. 

“And even though we had nothing to do with this, we are all going to be spending considerable time, effort, and money with various attorneys and members of Congress answering questions. We are going to be castigated in the press and the public forum. We are going to be taking it in the teeth and I guess I’d just like to hear, from you, why you never trusted us with that information.”

“Josh.” This time Leo growls it, but the President waves him off.

“I wanted to be President.” He admits quietly. “I never thought I had a serious shot in the beginning, Josh; I truly didn’t. It was going to be Hoynes; everybody knew it. I could give some speeches, raise some issues and then go back to Manchester. By the time you, and Leo, Sam, Toby, and CJ made it real…I was afraid to tell anyone. The M.S. wasn’t affecting me in any way. I knew I could do the job if I got here. I have done it.”

“Yes, sir, but we could’ve gotten you here anyway if you’d just trusted us.” I shake my head. “Now, we’ve rolled out this huge re-election kickoff/extravaganza and…”

“And what?” He prompts me.

“I was in charge of campaign strategy, sir. Do you think there’s a single person who will believe I didn’t know about the M.S.?”

There’s a long pause. “I made a mistake. Help me fix it.” He requests.

“We need to bring in the rest of the senior staff and brainstorm something fast.” I advise.

The President nods to Leo and he goes to summon the rest of our merry band.

“I need you, Josh; now more than ever.” He admits.

“I need you to be honest with me, sir.”

“My word.” He puts his hand over his heart. I didn’t know if I was going to stay here when I came into this room. Looking at this man now, I know I have to stay. Jed Bartlet is a good man; the real thing. But he made a whopper of a mistake and it’s going to take awhile to get over that. I nod in response to his pledge and flop down onto the couch. Within minutes the whole group is assembled.

Having advance knowledge of the topic of today’s emergency meeting, I have the luxury of sitting back and watching the reaction of everyone else as the President announces his M.S. diagnosis. As soon as the words ‘multiple sclerosis’ are out of his mouth, Toby’s gaze shoots to me. When he sees my calm demeanor, I can read the accusation in his eyes.

“I just found out yesterday…by accident.” I hasten to add. I certainly don’t want any of these guys to think I was in on it. Toby’s accusing eyes turn back to the President. 

“Why are you telling us this now…sir?” Toby asks in a low, quiet voice.

“I’m sorry?” The President replies.

“You’ve obviously felt comfortable keeping this…information from us up to this point. What made you decide to bring is inside now?” Toby reiterated his question. The President looks over at me. I’M supposed to take this one.

“Someone is in possession of the President’s medical records.” I explain. “They sent a copy of them to Matt Skinner…possibly others. C.J.’s going to get the question. If not today, then certainly tomorrow.”

“Congressman Skinner isn’t sharing?” C.J. asks skeptically.

“I think if that was his plan he would have leaked it when he received it yesterday morning instead of bringing it to me.” I reply hotly. “Matt has always had a lot of respect for the President.”

“I’d say we owe him big for this one.” Sam mutters. No shit.

“If he hasn’t done anything with it since yesterday morning, whoever sent it to him is going to move on to their second choice; and quickly.” C.J. opines. 

I nod in agreement. “So the first question is do we wait for the question and go from there or do we go on offense?”

“THAT’S the first question?!” Toby explodes.

“Toby…” Leo warns.

“It’s nowhere near the first question! Have you talked to White House counsel yet? Is he going to be able to run for re-election or do we get behind Hoynes right now? Oh, Jesus! Is that what was behind all his polling?”

“Yep.” I reply. “I’m sure speaking to White House counsel is next on the President’s list of things to do today, but something could break in the meantime. We need a plan.”

“We can’t treat it as a non-story. Yes, he has MS, but it’s in remission so…” Sam trails off and gets up to pace. “We should…” Yeah, he’s got nothing. Toby is still seething. C.J. just looks shell shocked. I know the feeling.

“Sir, I think you should visit Oliver Babish right now. We’ll continue to work out a strategy and report back in an hour or two.” I suggest. “C.J. can avoid the press for that long.”

Leo and the President look at one another and then nod their agreement to the plan. We’re about to break up when Charlie answers a knock from the secretary’s door. He steps out a second, then comes back in and seeing that we’re done leaves the door open while motioning for me. What the hell?

I start walking toward the door and get alarmed when I see Donna crying just outside. 

“Donna? What is it? What’s wrong?” I hurry out to her and she nearly collapses in my arms. “Donna?!” She’s crying too hard for me to understand what she’s saying at first. “What?!”

“Don’t be mad, please?” She begs.

“Mad? About what? Donna, take a breath and talk to me.” I insist.

She pulls me a little further into the corner. “Okay, just don’t be mad.”

“For the love of God, Donna!”

“Okay!” She shouts back. “You know how I told you we’d wait to take the test tomorrow?” Oh, shit. 

“You didn’t.” 

“I may have been overstating things a bit.” And she starts crying again. 

“This is EXACTLY why I told you to wait!” I explode. “Now neither of us is going to be able to concentrate on what’s going on at work and we’re dealing with some pretty heavy duty stuff here, Donna!”

“Josh--”

“Why won’t you ever listen to me?” I continue.

“Josh--” 

“I was just thinking about you and how hard the news has been the last few months, and still you blatantly disregard my advice!”

“JOSH!” 

“Twenty-four freaking hours you can’t wait and you call ME impatient!” I complain.

“I’m pregnant!” 

“If you’d just listen to me-” I break off when her words finally penetrate my brain.

“Wait for it.” Charlie teases.

“You’re pregnant?” I confirm. “For sure?”

“I took two tests just to be sure. I had to drive to the store to get the second test but I didn’t want to worry about it being a false positive and then--”

Her words get cut off when I lift her up and spin her around. “You’re pregnant! We’re going to have a baby!”

“That’s what pregnant means.” Donna laughs. 

“Everything okay out here?” Sam asks as he exits the Oval with C.J. and Toby. 

“Okay? No. Amazingly fantastic? Yes.” I beam. “Donna’s pregnant.”

She gives me a glare and then elbows me in the stomach. “We haven’t even told our families yet!” 

“These guys are LIKE family!” I insist as I get hugs from Sam and C.J. Toby hangs back a bit but offers a ‘Mazel Tov’ when I’m done being passed around. 

“How do you feel?” C.J. asks Donna.

“Happy.” She replies. “I should get back to work. I just had to come over and tell you in person.”

“Yeah.” I agree and pull her close for a kiss. Normally, there are rules, but today…

“See you later…Dad.” Donna’s cheeks are in serious danger of cracking open she’s smiling so huge. I smile back and then something bursts in my chest. Dad. I’m going to be someone’s dad. Wait! I’m not ready to be someone’s dad. Sam notices the look of terror on my face.

“You’re going to be a terrific dad, Josh.” He assures me. “You and Donna will be great parents.”

The day which started out sucking so bad hasn’t altered measurably. The President still has a huge re-election battle looming ahead of him, we’re all going to be subpoenaed, and once the press gets a hold of this story it’s going to be a feeding frenzy. The only thing that’s changed is that now we know there’s a teeny tiny human being, about the size of a grain of rice, growing inside my wife. Damn. Already this child is making my life brighter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So how did papa take the news?” Matt asks when I get back.

“He seemed…happy.” I grin. “And if you EVER tell him that you knew before him, I’ll have you buried at the bottom of the Potomac.” 

“That’s your maternal protectiveness coming out.” Matt jokes.

“No, that’s my self-preservation coming out.” I toss back. “Thanks for letting me run over.”

“I told you that you didn’t need to come in at all this morning.”

“No, you told JOSH I didn’t need to come in this morning. Can you please not do that again?”

“I’m sorry, are you dissing me after I generously let you leave my office and your work?”

“See, the ‘let you leave’ part implies that you are somehow in charge of the office.” I reply. “I simply informed you that I would be out of the office for a bit.”

“And I SO appreciate the courtesy.” He drawls. “How’s the mood over there?”

“After I left, it was a little more upbeat.” I hedge. I still struggle with how much of the information I get through my relationship with my husband I should share with my boss and vice versa. It helps to know that despite being on different sides of the aisle, they have great respect and friendship between them. I know that neither of them would intentionally try to trip me up, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t do it accidentally all by myself. 

“Uh-huh.” Matt lets it slide. “Forget the heavy drama at the White House for a minute. I want to gossip.”

“About what?” I chuckle. Matt does love his gossip. This, I’m happy to provide him.

“How far has the dashing FBI Agent fallen for the 2nd first daughter?” Matt wiggles his eyebrows.

“Hmmm…well, it’s not like he confides in me much but he is clearly smitten.” I share.

“You can do better than that, Donnatella.” Matt cajoles me. “I need something to snark him about.”

“He brought her roses. He pulled out her chair for her.” I tell him and he gives me a face. “What do you want from me?”

“Something more than prep school manners.” 

“Okay. I’ve got it.” I decide. “At the end of the evening, he had to get permission from the Secret Service to drive Ellie back to the White House and they had to search his car.”

“That’s not SO bad.”

“Except our wonder-agent had some interesting things in his trunk and the Secret Service refused to let him take Ellie home.” 

“Interesting things? Like…?” 

“Some weapons, handcuffs, and some evidence for a case he was working on which included rope and weights.” Donna grinned imagining the scene herself.

“Public humiliation and no kiss goodnight.” Matt surmised. “They don’t make allowances for FBI Agents?”

“They’re charged with the protection of the President and his family. I’m thinkin’ they don’t make allowances for anybody.”

“Fair point.” Matt allows. “I’ll call and give him grief about it later. Right now, I’m expected in the leader’s office shortly.”

“For what?” I hurriedly check my calendar for the Congressman and see nothing scheduled with the Majority leader. 

“I have no information for you on that. I guess I’ll find out in a few minutes.” Matt notes. “Do you think you’ll be able to come down from the cloud you’re currently floating on long enough to get some work done while I’m gone?”

“Nope.” I answer decisively.

“Good to know.” He smiles on his way out of the office, but pauses to give me a brief kiss on my cheek. “Congratulations, Donna. I’m very happy for you and Josh. I’m not sure the world is ready for a little Josh Lyman, but if anybody can wrangle a Lyman progeny it’s you.”

“Thanks.” I reply, my eyes watering again, damn it! At least now, I can blame it on pregnancy hormones. YES!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Matt come in.” The Majority leader invites me. He’s the senior Congressman from Florida, and you don’t get that job without learning how to shake hands and make nice, but it isn’t what he’s known for around here, so I’m immediately suspicious of Congressman Tom Evers motives. Nonetheless, I take a seat across from him and prepare myself for whatever he’s ready to deliver.

“What can I do for you, Tom?” I use his first name to show him I’m not intimidated by him, but that’s mostly bravado. 

“I may be able to do something for you. Help you raise your profile a little more with a major role in an upcoming hearing.” 

If this is what I think it is, the shit is about to hit the fan.

“A hearing on what?” 

“I heard you made a trip over to the White House yesterday.” Tom mentions oh, so casually. “Were you summoned?”

“It was a personal trip. Josh Lyman’s wife works in my office. She’s been having some health concerns.” Both perfectly true statements. I can’t help it if he draws a conclusion that the two are related. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He ponders this information for a minute. “I hope everything is okay?”

“I think the situation has been happily resolved now.” I report and the man grimaces; like he was hoping for something awful that might throw Josh off his game. What an ass!

“Well…that’s good then.” Tom picks up an envelope looking suspiciously like the one that was left at my office. Fuck.

“Something has come to our attention and we’d like you to take this ball and run with it.” 

“What kind of a ball is it, Tom?” 

“An exploding ball.” Tom smiles like a shark smelling blood in the water. 

“That sounds like it would be dangerous to handle. I prefer not to carry things that might explode.” I try to extricate myself from the situation. 

“You’re the person to carry this one. I’m confident that in your hands, it will be perfectly safe.” He hands me the envelope.

“What is this?” I ask dreading the answer.

“It’s medical evidence that the President has been concealing a degenerative disease since long before he was elected to high office.” Tom says with a smile. “We’re going to take Bartlet out of office and take back the White House for the Republicans. Take a look at the information and decide the best way to roll it out. We want to start the ball rolling tomorrow.”

“But…do you even know if this is true? What is the illness?”

“It’s all been verified through other sources and hiding the fact that he has multiple sclerosis is going to put the nail in Jed Bartlet’s coffin.” Tom assures me. “Get going on this. And I assume it goes without saying that all this information needs to stay between us until we’re ready to roll it out?”

“Goes without saying.” I repeat before I get up to leave. Once I’m in the hallway, I send Josh a brief text message from my cell and roll my eyes. I just HAD to raise my profile. Shit.

TBC


	5. When the Bough Breaks

“How much time do you have?” I ask Matt as I pace his apartment.

“I don’t know.” Matt shrugs. “Maybe 48 hours.” 

“Yeah, we’re looking at releasing it then.”

“You’re sure?”

“A sit down interview and then a press conference.” I nod. “Matt, you know every time you talk to me about this, it’s going to come back and bite you in the ass.”

“As a Republican, sure.” He says. “But I’m switching parties in two years.”

“Listen, I know what this means coming from the guy with my job, but you really don’t want to be the one to release this, Matt.”

“No shit.” He replies. “I’m trying to get them not to at all. We have to explain where this came from. The whole things reaks of corruption. No one’s going to believe me when I say oh I got this anonymously. They’re going to think I was involved in something illegal. I’d rather that come out in a deposition than in a press conference.” 

“I still can’t believe this.” I say rubbing a hand down my face. “Toby won’t talk to him. Sam’s running around trying to fix the most trivial, mundane things. CJ’s petrified of going into the press room…”

“They’re going hunting, Josh.” He says and I stop my pacing.

“What do you mean?”

“The committee is going to go hunting on you guys. Josh, they’re going to try and dig up all sorts of stuff on you.” He looks at me pointedly.

“I don’t think they’d find that.” I reply. We’re referring to my PTSD diagnosis last year now.

“The President didn’t think they’d find this.” Matt counters.

“I’m not pre-emptively disclosing that.” I say firmly as Donna and Scott enter the apartment with pizza. “I’m not an elected official; I’m a private citizen. My medical records are of absolutely no relevance.”

“Legally.” Matt counters.

“What are you talking about?” Donna asks, as Scott takes the pizza into the kitchen.

“Matt seems to think…”

“I didn’t say that!”

“…that I might want to consider pre-emptively disclosing the PTSD.”

“Absolutely. Not.” Donna says with so much conviction, my eyes widen. 

“I didn’t say that. I’m talking about the picture they could paint that the Bartlet administration is concealing more than one medical condition. What else are you hiding? Assassinations? National security threats?” He continues. “I’m saying that the PR explosion is going to be….a super nova.” 

She lowers her voice; at least one of us remembers Scott doesn’t know anything about this yet. “They will crucify him, Matthew, and for no reason.” She hisses. “They’ll do it just for sport. I’m not going to let it happen. If he releases that, it’ll make him the fall guy. It’ll snowball so fast, no one is going to be able to stop it or get out of its way. It’s exactly why it was so hard to get him to see someone in the first place! No! I’m not going to allow it.” 

“Wow.” Matt says and looks at me wide-eyed.

“Yeah, that was hot, right?” I smirk and Donna smacks my arm. “Must be pregnancy hormones; that mother tigress thing kicking in.” 

“She’s always been that way with you.” Matt chuckles.

“I’m standing right here.” She announces needlessly.

“It’s a compliment.” I reply leading her to the table. She doesn’t seem to be of the same opinion. 

“So, Donna, how are you feeling?” Matt asks as we all sit down and the three males among us open beers while Donna has a water. I make a quick slashing motion across my throat to Matt, but when Donna turns her head to me, I cover it by quickly rubbing the back of my neck and giving her the most innocent look I can. She arches a brow and looks back at Matt.

“Actually, I’m not very comfortable.” She says quietly. 

“Already?” Matt frowns. “I thought that was something that came towards the end when you’re all big and fa --” He immediately breaks off when he sees her glare. “feminine and radiant.” He ends in a very poor save.

“I don’t know.” Donna continues. “Nothing in my reading mentions it and whether or not it’s normal, so I’m going to ask my doctor about it.” 

Matt’s come to know Donna pretty well. He squints his eyes slightly and cocks his head to the side. I know that look. He thinks there’s more to what she’s saying, but he’s not going to press her on it now. He’ll probably corner me later. He’s right though. She’s very nervous about it. Me? I’ve been nervous since she told me she wanted to get pregnant. I’m just that kind of guy.

With everything that’s happened in the last few days, I’ve been so wrapped up in that stuff, that I’m afraid I haven’t been as attentive to Donna and her condition as I should be. I can see it in her eyes though that she’s freaked out. That’s probably normal. I mean, it’s uncharted territory for both of us. We have no idea what’s to come or what’s normal, what she’s supposed to feel, anything. I remember hearing people talk at fundraisers and stuff about the ‘freaked out first time parent’ syndrome when they freak out over every little thing and feel like a couple of idiots about it later. I suspect this might be what that is, but since I’m no expert, I’ll continue to be concerned about it until the all clear comes from her doctor. Hopefully that’s in a few days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi, Donna!” Sam greets flinging the door to his and Ainsley’s apartment open when I knock. 

“Hi Sam.” I smile. He moves by me with his briefcase, but stops long enough to give me a quick peck on the cheek. “Ainsley’s throwing up in the bathroom and I have to get in to work. See ya later!” 

“Uh…okay, bye!” I call to his retreating back as he barrels down the stairs of their building.

Throwing up in the bathroom? What’s going on? I close the door to their apartment and walk through the living room. “Ains?” I call.

“In here.” I hear from the bathroom. I hear the toilet flush and the water start to run. When I get in there, she’s rinsing her mouth out.

“Are you sick?” I ask concerned.

“Pregnant.” She smiles sheepishly. 

“Really?!” I squeal and throw my arms gleefully around her neck. “That’s wonderful! We’ll be pregnant together.”

“It’s absolutely not common knowledge.” She says seriously. “No one at the White House knows yet. I’m not making any announcements outside the Oval.” 

“I wanted Josh to know right away.” I defend. “With all that’s been going on, I thought he needed the good news right away. Besides, after all the disappointments…”

“I’m not criticizing.” She says leaving the bathroom and walking to the living room to sit down. “I’m simply saying I want to wait to make the announcement is all.” 

She sits down on the couch and I sit down in a chair adjacent to her smiling. “This is going to be fun.”

“Oh, Donna. THAT was not fun!” she says pointing to the bathroom. 

“But the planning and buying stuff…” I smile. “They’ll be so close in age! What’s your due date?” 

“January 15th.” 

“So, they’ll be a couple of weeks apart then!”

“Sam told me he’d never forgive me if this baby is born on the State of the Union.” 

“Well, I’m glad Sam’s still optimistic.” I say frowning slightly. “Josh doesn’t seem to think they’re going to win now.” 

“He said that before all this.” Ainsley says, her smile dropping.

“Is it hard being there for you now?” I ask.

“Well, I’ve been so busy in the counsel’s office with all this. I’m the only one working with Oliver right now on it. They told me because of Sam, so I’ve been tied up with chain of events meetings and preparing lists of witnesses and who already knows and when they found out and talking to them about when they found out and why they decided not to say anything…”

“Trying to figure out if the President and First Lady are lying about saying they never asked anyone to lie?” 

“It’s just a mess.” Ainsley sighs.

“We probably shouldn’t talk about it anymore, huh?” I frown.

“You’re going to get subpoenaed eventually, Donna. The less you talk about it, the better off you’re going to be.” 

“If I get subpoenaed, I’ll need a lawyer, right?”

“You should take one with you, yes.”

“Can I take you?” 

“Well, I work for the White House.”

“But I could bring you just for the deposition, right? I mean, Sam does that for Josh all the time. Josh is always getting subpoenaed for stuff under the Freedom of Information Act and Sam goes with him.”

“Okay.” Ainsley nods.

“So, are you going to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?” I smile changing the subject. I tuck my knees underneath me and get more comfortable on the chair.

“I don’t know.” She smiles. “I kinda like the idea of being surprised. What about you?”

“Are you kidding!?” I shriek. “OF COURSE I’m finding out! I have to plan. I need to pick out the name and decorate the nursery and there’s just no way I could not know.”

“Yeah, I forgot who I was asking.” Ainsley says dryly and rolling her eyes. 

“Wow, I’m so happy for you, Ainsley.” I smile again. “I love that they’re going to be so close in age. It’ll be nice for them to have cousins here, being so far away from the rest of their family.” 

“Yeah, it’s going to be great.”

“Have you and Sam talked about what you’d do if the President doesn’t win reelection?” I hedge. This is a safe enough topic. With or without the M.S. he could lose the election.

“Not really.” She says with a grimace. “Have you and Josh?”

“No, not at all.” I reply. “I’m assuming he’s going to want to stay here.” I just realized I don’t think Ainsley or Sam knows about Matt’s probable Presidential run. Well, I guess Josh may have told Sam, but he hasn’t told me that. 

“Well, Matt’s not up for re-election, so you still have a job.” Ainsley said. “And Josh is certainly employable.”

“I just hope he remains employable.” I mutter.

“I’m sure he will.” Ainsley says soothingly. “I’m sure they both will.”

“Sam was actually a practicing lawyer before all this.” I remind her. “He’ll have no problem finding a job.”

“And Josh can certainly afford to be out of work for a while.” Ainsley counters. This is true. Josh has got quite a bit of money. He never touches it, but he’s got it. I know she’s right and we’d be fine, but Josh will go nuts with nothing to do; though I have no doubt in my mind that Matt would try to rope him for Chief of Staff. His COS now…well, I’m not really a fan. He’s new, and Matt hired him because he’s got slightly more liberal leanings at times. So, while sometimes we agree on stuff, he’s not as open minded about a Democrat, much less the wife of the Deputy Chief of Staff, one of the biggest Democrats around, working for a Republican as visible as Matt. 

“I know.” I say. “I guess I’m just out of my element right now, you know? I’m a planner and there’s just so much that’s in the unknown column. Josh seems perfectly comfortable with all that and chalking things up to the unknown. He’s so used to it always hooking his cart to a candidate, but I’m someone that always has to have a plan.”

“Donna, I think maybe you prefer to have a plan, but you did move across the country on the spur of the moment. You changed your whole life on a whim! It was the most unplanned thing I’d ever seen anyone do.” 

I’m not convinced though. I made that decision on a whim yes, but it was spurned by heightened emotional circumstances. I had just had my heart broken in the most humiliating way and I was running away. Of course, it turned out to be the best decision of my life. It brought me to Josh, who’s amazing, albeit a little nuts right now and more than a little frustrating at times, but I’ve never known this kind of happiness with someone before. And now that baby will make three, pending work explosion of Josh’s aside, I feel like everything’s still on the upswing and gaining momentum.

TBC


	6. When the Bough Breaks

“Go ahead, I’m fine.” I tell him again. It’s just morning sickness. I’m not going to die or anything. Yeah, it’s unpleasant, but when I remember what’s making me sick, I find that I don’t mind that much at all.

“I’m not leaving you on the bathroom floor.” Josh protests.

“You’ve got a big day ahead of you, you can’t be late.” I manage to get out before I hurl again.

“Ew…” Josh moans, but he still comes in the bathroom and gets a washcloth to put on my neck. “Try this.”

“That feels good.”

“They said it sometimes helps with the nausea.” He notes.

“Well, they were right.” I tell him. Wait a second. “Wait. Who said it helps?”

“Mmphlbtbt.” Is his muffled reply.

“Excuse me?”

“I read it…in a parenting magazine.” He admits turning an adorable shade of pink.

“You read a parenting magazine?”

“I…picked up a few…you know, after you told me.” He shrugs. How sweet is that?

“Josh…” My eyes tear up.

“Not the hormone thing, Donna, please. We’re already going to be late for work.”

“You won’t be, because you’re leaving now.” I insist. “I’ll text you to let you know I made it into work okay. Please?” I turn on the pout. “I don’t want to make your day even more stressful.”

“Fine, but you call me if you’re not feeling better in a little while too.”

“Promise.” I give him my word. He leans down to kiss me, and then thinks better of it. His lips land on the top of my head. “Bye, Mom.”

That’s his way of cheering me up. It works.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’ve got two minutes to get to the basement office.” Jackie tells me shoving files and a pen into my hand.

“Good morning to you to, Jacqueline. I’m fine thanks, how about you?” I reply.

“One minute and 45 seconds.” Jackie tells me.

“Okay, okay, but I don’t get good cell reception, any cell reception down there, and Donna wasn’t feeling this morning so if she calls…”

“I will personally come down and get you, I swear. Go.” Jackie shoos me away and I guess I need a little prodding. I do NOT want to go to this meeting. I don’t want to be at work.

“Sagittarius.” I tell the agent outside the door and he opens it for me. Our merry little band is already gathered there. Joey Lucas has put together some preliminary numbers for us. I’m sure they’ll cheer me right up. A half hour later, I decide maybe not.

“We should consider delaying the release.” Sam offers. Nice try.

“We can’t. It’s not in our hands anymore.” I remind him. “Just because Matt Skinner isn’t running to the press doesn’t mean somebody else on his team won’t.”

“Gays?” C.J. teases.

“Republicans.” Leo drawls. He’s really not in the mood for teasing I guess.

“We’re past the point of no return. We’ve already requested the air time and the interviewer. Let’s move on. Use this…data to figure out what we need to emphasis during the interview.” Toby is all business now. I think he’s concentrating on damage control rather than the fact that the President lied to us. I know I am.

“We’ve run the answers by the counsel’s office.” C.J. sobers up. I think the lack of sleep is getting to all of us. “It’s important that we do NOT change any of the answers that have already been through the process.”

“No ad libbing?” President Bartlet jokes.

“That would be, for the purposes of our legal procedures and press maneuvers, a poor idea at this particular juncture, Mr. President.” Ainsley points out. Even after all this time, her…unique command of the English language amuses me. I attempt to catch the eye of her husband, but Sam barely spares me a glance. He is seemingly captivated by his wife. That makes me smile too. Lots of things make me smile lately. Then reality intrudes.

“This really isn’t a joking matter, sir.” Toby reminds us all. Damn. 

“When will this start leaking?” The President asks C.J., ignoring Toby’s remark.

“It already has, sir. Once we made the request for network time…”

“The Republicans may strategically jump us on the announcement.” I mention.

“It won’t matter. We already scheduled the time to announce. Their pre-emptive strike will be seen as a reaction to our impending news conference.” Toby decrees. If only wishing made it so.

“Just so you’re ready for it.” I shrug.

“Communications will handle communication.” Toby snaps. 

“That would be a nice change of pace.” I snap back.

“Shut up, both of you.” Leo interjects himself into our pissing match.

Instead of blowing Leo off and making more trouble for myself, I generously spread cream cheese across my bagel and stick it in my mouth. Donna claims keeping my mouth filled with food will reduce the number of apology baskets Jackie needs to send out for me by at least 60%. So far, she’s been right on. I notice Ainsley looking at me strangely. Oh! Maybe she wants some bagels too. Maybe? This is Ainsley. Of course she does!

I push the plate of food in front of her and her eyes get huge. 

“Are they going to ask about a Congressional investigation?” President Bartlet asks. Nobody answers. “Ainsley, if we’re appointing a special prosecutor will the press ask about a Congressional--”

“Excuse me, sir.” Ainsley dashes from the room. The President turns to Sam.

“Was it something I said?” He asks.

“She…hasn’t been feeling well, sir. She probably should have stayed home today, but…” Sam trails off but we all know the end of his sentence. None of us could take a sick day today. Today is the day the walls start to crumble around us and we have to cement the bricks back in place as fast as we possibly can. Yeah…it’s going to suck.

When I get back upstairs, Danny Concannon is waiting for me. Can this day get any worse?

“Get out of my office, Danny.” I say before he can get a word out.

“You’re not going to want to kick me out right now, Josh.”

“I really think I will.” I counter.

“I’ve just been to Matt Skinner’s office.” Danny tells me quietly. My head drops back against the back of my chair. Apparently, the day can get worse. “Let’s take a walk outside.”

“Are you kidding me? The press of the entire world is about to come crashing down on our heads, I can’t be seen walking the streets with you.” I explain. “Just what do you think you know, Danny?”

“I know that this ain’t got nothing to do with Haiti, but a lot to do with a break in and theft at the residence of Dr. Lee.” He answers. Shit. 

“Shut the door.” I direct him quietly. He complies immediately, which tells me he knows how serious this is.

“First, off the record, how deep are you in this, my friend. Do I need to start saving money for a lawyer or a bail bondsman?” He asks.

This is why I continue my friendship with Danny even though it sometimes makes one or the other of us uncomfortable in our jobs. I know that deep down, his concern for me is at least as great as his desire for the story.

“I’m not at all deep into any of this, and yes, you should start saving money for a lawyer or bail bondsman.” I reply and see his shoulders slump in relief. 

“Then seeing as how this must be relatively new information to you too, just how pissed are you?”

“I’m not going there; at least, not now.” I amend. “We’re all still reeling here, Danny.”

“The request for network time?”

“A one on one interview followed by a press conference to answer a question or two.” I say sarcastically. President Bartlet may not get out of there before morning. 

“Thanks for the call. Yes, I’d love to have an exclusive one on one with the President in keeping with the positive relationship we’ve built over the years.” He drawls.

“You’re print, we needed a TV figure.” I explain. “It was simply a question of medium. We need the people to see and hear him explain what he has and the impact it has on him; or lack thereof.” I roll my eyes. “I can make sure you get a few minutes with him.”

He nods solemnly. “Okay, you’re off the hook for this one, but not the other thing.”

“What other thing?!” I ask in alarm. There’s ANOTHER thing? I can’t take ANOTHER thing.

“Is there a piece of news you’ve neglected to share with me?” He prods.

“I couldn’t share it with you, Danny. We don’t even discuss it up here. It’s got its own clearance level now.”

“Donna’s pregnancy has its own clearance level?” He laughs. 

“Oh, THAT other thing.” I laugh too and relax a bit. “Yeah, that one I have to take the rap for. But in my defense, we aren’t really telling anyone yet. Donna is very superstitious about saying something before she’s through the first trimester.”

“I guess I can understand that given the circumstances.” Danny smiles. “I’m thrilled for you both.”

“Thanks, Danny, but how did you hear about it?” 

“It’s floating around.” He waves his pointer finger around in a circle in the air. “C.J. will get it in the room soon.” He warns me.

“I’ll let her know.” I tell him but I’m not concerned about it. If it were up to me, I’d take out an ad in the New York Times, but Donna is adamant about waiting until week 12 so…However, she’s the one who blurted out the news right outside the Oval so if rumors are circulating, she really can’t blame me at all, right? Who am I kidding? Of course she can blame me. 

“Tell Donna congratulations from me…when it’s okay for me to know.” He grins. Danny is a funny guy.

“I will.” This is the first time I’ve had a chance to talk to someone about this outside of our small circle of Presidential defenders. “Danny? How bad is the fallout gonna be, do you think?”

“Pretty bad.” He opines. “I’ve been researching that particular…thing since I got word. There doesn’t seem to be any good news there and nobody likes being lied to.” 

“No kidding.” I mutter. 

“That being said, the President is popular and he’s got a lot of trust stored up in the bank. Depending on how you people roll this out…you may be able to salvage things. But you’re going to have to play error free ball.” Danny explains in terms I understand.

“Okay. Thanks.” I say sincerely. “Keep your cell phone on you. I’ll call you with a place and time for your exclusive.” He nods and stands up. “Hey! You’re not interested in breaking this one?”

“Breaking it isn’t going to be where the meat is. Everybody and their brother will be tripping over themselves to be first. I want the story that’s most comprehensive.” He tells me.

“Fair enough.” I reply and he leaves me with a jaunty salute. Now I’ve got to find C.J.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re asking me to do this NOW? A few hours before he sits down on live television?” I shriek.

“No, I’m telling you to do this now.” Josh snaps at me. There’s been a lot of snapping around here lately. Funny how that happens when your boss and President lies to you about a debilitating disease. I look at the set face of the Deputy Chief of Staff. I know he was brought inside on this before the rest of us, but the details of how all that came about are unclear. Josh refuses to say anything right now. He claims it will just give the special prosecutor more to ask us about and its better that we stay as ignorant as possible about one another’s involvement; he may be right. 

“Josh…” I sigh.

“Do it. Have him sit with Danny before the TV thing. It will help our side and give the President a chance to practice with live ammo.” Josh is determined. He rarely pulls rank on me, so when he does, I take it seriously.

“And I suppose I have to give the bad news to the President that he has to fit in one more interview before the press conference?” I ask.

“I don’t know, C.J., that really sounds like something the Communications Director should be relaying to the President.” Josh does his shark smile.

“It does. It really does.” I agree and take a walk to Toby’s office.

“Not now.” He says without even lifting his head from the computer screen.

“Has to be now.” I reply and shut the door. I fill him in on the pan to have Danny interview the President before his on air interview.

“No way.” Again, this is said without any eye contact whatsoever.

“Josh sort of…ordered it.” I mention. Now I get eye contact. We both know there are things that Josh is privy to that the rest of us are not, so now I think Toby is wondering what Josh knows that we don’t that would make him order this interview now. 

“Fine. Go tell the President.” Toby tells me. He’s been even more…gruff than usual and it’s beginning to get on my nerves. We’re all dealing with the same thing here. He has no reason to be any more upset than the rest of us. And yet…

“Josh said you.” I am happy to pass this task on. “And you better do it soon too, because—

“Fine.” Toby slams his laptop shut and storms from the room. That went well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t have time for that.” The President informs me, like I’m not already intimately familiar with his schedule for the day.

“Josh thinks it’s important. We’ll make time. 10-15 minutes. I’m thinking in the hour before you sit down on camera.” I suggest.

“Am I going to have to sit down with every reporter in the Western hemisphere now?” He shouts.

“It looks like you might, yes sir!” I shout back. “If there are any other disclosures you’d like to make, this would be a good opportunity to do so. That way we won’t have to live through this particular nightmare again!”

“You think there’s something else I’m hiding, Toby?” He asks in a dangerously quiet voice.

“I wouldn’t have believed, in a million years, that you were hiding this thing, so I have no idea…sir.” I shoot back. We engage in a standoff for a good minute before he lets out a breath. 

“I’m thinking that you’re thinking I deserve that.”

“Yes, sir.” I answer honestly. I’m relatively sure he won’t fire me for it.

“Maybe I do.” He smiles grimly. “I honestly…there’s a word, huh? I honestly didn’t mean to keep it from you, from any of you. I never thought we’d get far enough that it would even matter. Then when we did…I didn’t want to give it up, Toby. God help me, I got a taste of…I just didn’t want to give it up.”

At least THIS was honest. “I understand that, sir. I just wish…I wish you’d told us. We still could have gotten it done. I believe that with all my heart so it’s hard to- I wish you’d told us; trusted us.” 

“I’m sorry, Toby.” He’s walked around his desk now and we’re nearly toe to toe. “I truly am.”

I nod, unable to get words out. I know I should accept his apology but I can’t get the words out. So I just nod. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He did very well.” I tell him and see him jump at my voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. He did very well.” I repeat.

“Yeah…he did. I just don’t know if it will be enough.” He admits and I know what that admission cost him. He holds out a hand to me and I walk over to him in his nearly pitch black office to take it. He pulls me onto his lap and places a hand protectively over my stomach. His touch warms me all over and I like to think it gives him comfort too.

“Matt’s giving his statement now.” I inform him and he nods like he expected that. “I read it. It’s not bad, I mean it’s tough, but it’s not--”

“Donna…” he sighs my name and his head drops to my chest.

“Sorry. I just want to help…somehow.” I tell him.

“What you’re doing right now? It’s helping.” He smiles. For now, it’s enough I guess.

 

“What the HELL was that?!” The leader is screaming at me. It’s…unpleasant.

“It was a strongly worded statement that condemned the President for keeping his health a secret from the American public while he courted their votes.” I reply quietly hoping that my quiet voice would bring his quiet voice down to a reasonable decibel.

“A STATEMENT?!” He screams again. So much for using my ‘quiet voice’. “I hand you the most politically explosive dynamite we’ve seen since Nixon and you make a STATEMENT???”

“Why did you give it to me?” I ask.

“What?” 

“Why did you give it to me?” I repeat.

“You’ve been taking point on a lot of--”

“No, no, that’s not it.” I disagree and interrupt him. “Why give me, someone who, let’s be honest, isn’t on your favorite person’s list, the most ‘politically explosive dynamite’ since Nixon. Why?” Silence. “I’ll tell you why. Because I have a relationship with the Deputy Chief of Staff and a decent relationship with the White House. I’m a Republican moderate and it doesn’t hurt that I’m gay because it shows that you’re oh, so, tolerant and inclusive.”

“Matt--”

“You know YOU can’t do it. It would be seen as a partisan attack on a man who’s got this horrible disease and you want the outrage to come from the people not the party. So you pass it off to me so I can do the reasoned and measured thing, which I did for you; you’re welcome, by the way. Now don’t come bitching about the manner in which I did that. I’ll be lucky to have anyone at the White House take my calls after this and you know I’ll be spending time with a special prosecutor myself. So either step up to the plate or quit your complaining about my time at bat.” I end with a flourish and exit on a line I think Josh would enjoy. I’d love to talk to him right now and see how he’s doing, but we both agreed to cut the communication for a bit until things settled down. I’ll get some of it from Donna and he’ll do the same, I’m sure. It’s just…I’d like to talk to my friend.

TBC


	7. When the Bough Breaks

Chris opens his apartment door and Mike enters, along with two secret service agents. We normally hang out at Matt’s when we’re looking to…well, hang out… but Josh and Matt seem to have this “understanding” that they should probably avoid contact for a little while. Believe me when I tell you that this makes my husband miserable.

“Excuse us, sir.” One agent says to Chris who nods and sweeps his hand out through the apartment for the agents to sweep. Mike leans up against the door as he waits for Ellie’s permission to enter.

“Your gun’s not good enough?” Chris asks him and Mike shrugs in reply. That’s when I notice the tension. Mike looks tense and Ellie looks…Yikes. Unhappy.

“Thank you, sir.” One agent says to Chris while the second allows Ellie to enter the apartment. Just as the door closes, I see them take up position outside the door. 

“What’s the matter?” Josh asks when he notices the distance Ellie’s keeping from Mike, who sits on the arm of the couch.

“Nothing.” Ellie says quietly sitting down. 

“Are you sure?” Josh asks her. “Because that particular look runs in your family and I’ve been on the receiving end of it.” 

“It’s fine.” She says stiffly.

“Ellie…” Mike sighs looking over at her.

“I really don’t want to get into it here.” She replies softly.

“Why?” Mike asks “There’s no reporters here.” 

“Just drop it.” She says quietly. She’s obviously uncomfortable. Ellie doesn’t seem to have the same fight in her that the other members of her family do. Josh says Zoey and Charlie will fight right in his office. The First Lady and the President are notorious about shaking the walls of the Oval Office when they fight. But Ellie is not very confrontational. 

“No. Eleanor…” Mike sighs. He runs a hand down his face, stands up and faces her. “You’re pissed.”

“It’s nothing.” She stands up and moves to the other side of the room.

“If you’re pissed, you’re pissed. It’s okay to be pissed off at me.”

“You want me to be mad at you?” she asks incredulously. 

“No, of course not. But if you are, then you are and it’s okay. You can’t keep all this anger in.”

“What anger?”

“You’re pissed at me…”

“You punched a reporter!” she yells.

“You punched a reporter?” Josh is immediately in damage control mode. This is more than Mike’s girlfriend; this is the First Daughter.

“I’m a federal agent. He was asked to step back, he didn’t, you’re the President’s daughter.” Mike said evenly.

“And it’s going to be everywhere.” She hisses.

“Guess what, then it’s everywhere!” he shoots back. 

She sits down and shakes her head. My heart really goes out to Ellie. This is just so not who she is. All she wants to do is be a doctor like her mom and have a normal low-key life. 

“He’s going to be so mad.” She whispers, shaking her head and the tears fall. The fight deflates out of Mike and he kneels down in front of her and pushes her hair out of her face.

I’ve never really seen this side of Mike before. He’s really come to care about her a great deal. And dating the President’s daughter can’t possibly be easy.

“Well, he’s going to have to wait his turn, Ellie, because it’s YOUR turn to be mad. You’re mad at him and you have every right to be.” He says softly.

“You wouldn’t say that if he was standing in this room.” She chuckles.

“No, I wouldn’t because he’s the President of the United States and I’m a federal agent, but I’m talking about your father right now. I know you’re mad. Aren’t you mad?”

“YES!” she suddenly shouts and jumps up. He’s so stunned he sits back on his heels and simply watches her a minute before he stands up. “I’m pissed! I’m pissed that I was born into a life of political spotlight and I hate it! Politics doesn’t interest me, it never has! I don’t care about internal polls and poachable districts. If I disagree on an issue with my dad, I can’t tell anyone because it’ll be on CNN! The balls and the gowns and the campaigning, none of that is me and they don’t get it! 

“But it’s not even that! Most of all, I’m pissed that my father is sick and he’s going to die from this one day and it’s not going to be pretty when the end comes. My father is a beautiful mind and it’s going to turn to shit! THIS right here is why I became a doctor. To do medical research and find a way to stop this. 

“No, my father’s not perfect and he doesn’t get me. And he didn’t tell his staff about it and I kept his secret and Zoey kept his secret and Liz kept his secret and my mother kept his secret because my father was meant to be President of the United States and he does good, but I am not strong enough for this life right now! And if you’d let me answer the reporter’s question instead of knocking him out like Rambo, I would have told him that OF COURSE I knew about my father’s illness! No, I was never going to say a word about it to anyone and yes of course I knew it was still considered lying, but even high profile political families protect each other. 

“Yes, Mike, I’m pissed at my father. I am so close, I am so close to being out of this life and an actual private citizen. This is the last job he’s ever going to have. My father’s never understood me…ever…but he loves me anyway and he sang to me when I was a little girl and if I walked over to the White House right now and asked him to sing to me again, he’d do it, and it’d be terrible because he’s an awful singer, but he’ll do it. And so I kept his secret because he’s my dad.”

She sighs deeply and she looks like you could knock her over with a feather right now. Josh looks…well, stunned. Chris is more than a little amazed as well. 

“Eleanor.” Mike chuckles stepping forward to her. “That was awesome!”

She laughs a little with him and he puts his arms around her and hugs her tightly. I never really considered the kind of life Ellie and her sisters were brought up in. It’s never been just the presidency. Her father’s a Nobel prize winner, her mother’s a doctor. Her father holds a PhD in economics, was a Congressman AND a Governor before he was President of the United States. I imagine the goal posts are pretty far in that family.

“And you’re wrong. You ARE strong enough for this life now. You just need to open up and not be so scared of it all. No one’s going to hurt you. First, they have to get by the secret service and then they have to get by me. And you can say whatever you want --”

“Michael…”Josh warns firmly.

“She’s a person with an opinion.” Mike counters.

“And that’s fine.” Josh replies evenly. “But that there is a bigger conversation than this.”

“Well then tell her who she needs to have it with!”

“She’s had it.” Josh says quietly and Ellie hangs her head. My heart goes out to her and Mike looks over at Ellie with the rest of us. 

“It’s just the way it is, Mike.” She whispers. My heart just breaks for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Name?”

“Donnatella Moss Lyman.”

“Occupation?”

“Media Director to Congressman Matthew Skinner, Connecticut Fourth District.”

“How long have you held this position?”

“About two years.”

“Are you married?”

“Yes.”

“What is your husband’s name?”

“Joshua Lyman.”

“What is Mr. Lyman’s occupation?”

“Deputy Chief of Staff for Strategic Planning to President Josiah Bartlet.”

“How long has he held that position?”

“Objection.” Ainsley pipes in. “Relevance?”

“Mr. Lyman is a subpoenaed witness to these proceedings.”

“And you can get that information when you depose him, Cliff.” Ainsley counters.

“Fine.” Cliff Calley, the counsel for the majority sighs. Ainsley felt pretty good going into this deposition. Apparently she and Cliff knew each other in law school and she seems to think he’s a decent guy. “Ms. Moss – or do you go by Mrs. Lyman?”

“Mrs. Lyman, please.” I say. I see his little play there. My husband did nothing wrong, Clifford. I’m not ashamed to use his name.

“Mrs. Lyman,” he says again. “When did you first come to learn about the President’s M.S.?”

“A couple of weeks ago. An envelope was dropped off in Congressman Skinner’s mail. It had no return address on it and no accompanying correspondence. The envelope only contained medical records of President Bartlet which were reported stolen earlier in the week.” I slide a glance over at the majority leader. He doesn’t actually squirm, but he doesn’t seem all that comfortable at the moment.

“Has your husband ever discussed this matter with you?”

“No.”

“He’s never commented that he knew about this condition?”

“No.” 

“Never once mentioned any suspect symptoms the President had?”

“Objection.” Ainsley sighs dramatically. “How many different ways are you going to ask that question, Cliff?”

“How many different ways are there, Ainsley?” Cliff shoots back.

“It’s asked and answered.” Ainsley tosses back coolly. I love seeing her in lawyer mode. I wish it wasn’t while she was acting as MY lawyer though.

“Mrs. Lyman, do you keep a diary?”

Oh shit.

“No.”

After a moment, I feel Ainsley’s foot apply pressure to mine.

“You don’t keep a journal or a diary or anything else where you might record your thoughts?”

“No.” I say again.

“Gentlemen,” Ainsley says suddenly rising and all the men in the room instantly rise out of their chairs in response. “I’m feeling unwell at present and I don’t think I’m able to continue this afternoon.”

“Mrs. Lyman doesn’t need counsel present.” The majority leader sneers.

“Obviously not, sir, but she has retained counsel and has expressed her wish to attend these proceedings with counsel, which means you are not at liberty to continue without her counsel present.” Ainsley counters. “My office will contact you this afternoon to reschedule.” 

She smiles demurely as only Ainsley can and then yanks me out of my seat and tugs me out the door.

I’m thinking I’m in trouble.

TBC


	8. When the Bough Breaks

I drag my cousin’s lying ass out of the hearing room. No, Southern women don’t usually speak this way, but at the moment I am, as my cousin-in-law Josh likes to say, supremely pissed.

“Ainsley--” She tries to talk to me but I cut her off with a wave of my hand. “Ainsley!” She tries again. I turn on a dime and face her, our noses are about 12 inches apart. 

“Do not open your mouth. Do not say one more word until we’re in my vehicle. Do you understand me?” I instruct her. She nods solemnly and follows me to the car, being careful to keep a good five feet of distance between us at all times. I think I may be radiating anger waves off my entire body right now, because NOBODY approaches us or so much as waves in our direction as we leave the building.

Once we get into my car, I clearly and objectively lay out my position on the deposition we just abruptly ended.

“What in the HELL possessed you to lie to a Congressional committee under OATH, DONNA!”

“Just wait a second.” Donna ties to calm me down, but that ship has sailed.

“I will NOT wait a second. YOU asked me to represent you in this --”

“I know, and I’m so grateful to you for --”

“You told me it would be straightforward testimony with no curve balls coming our way.” I continue.

“That was certainly what I was anticipating --”

“And the first thing you do? I mean, like the first thing out of your mouth after the preliminaries is a LIE about your DIARY?!” I throw up my hands. “I’m an Officer of the Court, Donna, I can’t knowingly let you lie about something in sworn deposition!”

“Oh, but if you didn’t know I had a diary everything would be okay?” She demands.

“I DO know.” I counter. I’m not getting into a hypothetical fight about this with her. “Lots of other people know too, I’m guessing. Do you know what the penalty is for perjury? Do you want to have this precious baby in jail?” I say more to scare her than anything else. No way is my cousin going to jail over a diary.

My words, however, have another effect, other than the ones I originally intended. Donna breaks down in heaving sobs. 

“Oh shit, oh shit. Donna, stop. I’m really sorry. I just…I wanted you to see the serious nature of this situation. I honestly didn’t want to make you… Donna please, stop.” Now I’m crying too and holding Donna in my arms. Two hormonal women sobbing in the front seat of my car. All we need now is some paparazzi to take a shot of us and write a creative headline.

“I’m sorry, Ainsley.” Donna continues to cry. “I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

“It’s not ME that’s going to- Donna, honey, why would you lie about something as irrelevant as a diary?”

“If I told them I had a diary, what would happen next?” Donna asks me.

“They’d want to see it to confirm that you didn’t know about the MS before you stated on the record that you knew about it.” I tell her.

“Right.” Donna nodded like that was the end of the discussion. “That’s what I thought.”

“Donna, we’re going to have to turn over the diary.”

“No!” She shouts and starts crying again.

“Donna, it’s the law. I can help you walk the testimony back and then we turn it over. They’ll look at it, determine you had nothing to hide, and your part of this nightmare will be over.” I try to calm her but it only makes her more upset. Then a thought occurs to me. “Donna…are you telling me…did you know about the MS before this? Did you lie about that too?”

“NO!” She insists and I believe her so I feel a wave of relief. 

“Then it’s very simple, I’ll talk to Cliff and we’ll straighten this minor incident out before dinner.”

“I will NOT turn over my diary.” Donna says steadfastly. “I will burn it to ashes before I give it to ANYONE on that fucking committee. Do YOU understand me?” I nod, mostly in shock, at my cousin’s bizarre reaction. Yes, it sucks having your privacy invaded like that, but nobody cares about the thoughts and feelings of a Congressional staffer when the President lied about having M.S.

Just as I’m formulating a new response, Donna opens the car door and leaves without another word. “Donna! Donna, wait!” I call out but she’s half way out of the parking lot already. That woman can move fast. I contemplate chasing her down, but I don’t think it will do any good. So reluctantly, I pick up the phone and call the one person I know she’ll listen to.

“Josh Lyman.” 

“Josh, it’s Ainsley.” I reply.

“Ainsley? Shouldn’t you be in a deposition with my wife right now?” He asks.

“Well…see I was, but this thing happened and I had to end it unexpectedly and --”

“Ainsley…” Josh has this tone in his voice now and it’s a little scary, actually.

“I think it would be good if you could manage to- Are you busy right now?”

“Ainsley…” Okay, now he’s growling.

“Donna needs you. She needs you now.” I cut to the chase. “They asked her in the deposition if she kept a diary and she lied and said no, so I had to end the deposition. But when I told her we’d have to turn it over she got…very upset and threatened to burn it rather than turn it over. Then she walked out on me.” I explain as quickly as I can. “I’m sorry Josh, I don’t know what to do and I don’t think she wants to talk to me anymore right now anyway.”

“I’ll find her Ainsley, thanks for the call.” He hangs up abruptly and I feel awful. I need to talk to Sam…and find a muffin or two of some kind as fast as humanly possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Ainsley explained the circumstances of the deposition, I had no trouble figuring out what Donna freaked out about. I book it double time to our place because I also know what my darling wife is planning to do. 

I find her in the bathroom weeping quietly, with her diary in one hand and a lighter in the other hand.

“Baby, don’t do that.” I say gently and her head whips over to face me. “That’s not the way to fix this.”

“Yes, it is.” Donna sounds determined. Shit.

“No, it’s not. That’s breaking the law. You don’t break the law, Donna. Neither of us does. That’s not who we are.”

“Maybe you should have made that clear to the President.” She counters.

“I have. And I will again, if you want me to. You can come with.” I offer and predictably, she rolls her eyes and scoffs. I try to take the diary from her.

“No! They don’t. Get. This.” She shouts. “This…job has invaded every aspect of our lives; every facet of it, Joshua! They don’t get my thoughts, feelings, joys and fears! They don’t get those!”

“Donna…”

“When I left Freeride and packed up to come here? I wrote it all in here. My humiliation and fear, my parents’ anger my hope that Ainsley would let me stay with her or I’d be homeless? All of it is in here. When we first met is in here. The first time we made love is in here. All my memories; beautiful and ugly are in this book.”

She gives me the highlights, but I know what she’s leaving out. She’s leaving out the heartbreak of trying to get pregnant and the horror of my PTSD diagnosis.

“I know.” I tell her and my tone tells her I know what she left out too.

“I have to destroy this, Josh, or they will destroy you with it.” She cries. See? This is why I love this woman so much. It’s her thoughts and feelings written all over all those pages. I know it would humiliate her to have anyone else read them. I’VE never even read any of it. But her overriding concern isn’t about people reading about her embarrassments and difficulties. Her one and only concern, I guarantee you, is in trying to protect me from the political vultures who’d use this to hurt me. I love her so much.

I kneel down on the floor in front of her and take her hands in mine; ignoring the lighter and the diary for the moment.

“Donna, I need you to do something for me.”

“What?” She asks warily, still crying.

“I need you to give me the diary.” 

She’s shaking her head ‘no’ before I even finish the sentence.

“I won’t do anything with it unless and until we both agree, I swear. Just let me hold it for now; keep it safe until we decide what to do next.”

“You promise you won’t give it to them?” She asks, completely breaking my heart.

“Not unless we both agree to.” I cross my heart. “Please trust me with this, Donna. I’ll take care of it. Ainsley and I will figure something out.”

“You should get Sam too. You’re not a real lawyer.”

“I would, but there’s a limit to the number of people I care about that I want to involve in a criminal act.” I drawl and she starts crying harder.

“Ainsley said….I could go to jail.” She falls into my arms, but thankfully lets me take the diary from her.

“That’s not going to happen.” I assure her. What the hell is Ainsley filling her head with?

“I should never have written anything down. It’s all my fault!” She tells me.

“That’s ridiculous.” I pick her up and carry her into the bedroom. “You have every right to record your life in your own diary in your own home.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.” 

“I know. This is all because of me. I’m so sorry my job brought all this down on us.” I tell her sincerely. “I’m going to find a way to fix this. The most important thing to me right now is that you calm down and try to relax; take a nap. It’s not good for you or the baby to get so upset.” I play my ace in the hole; the baby. She will do ANYTHING to protect our child and we both know it.

“I can’t sleep.” She whines.

“I’ll put a movie in and then I’ll call Matt and tell him not to expect you back today.”

“I can’t stay here by myself.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to get back. The President needs --” I pause in the middle of the sentence. Do I really care what the President needs right now? Really? Without another word to Donna, I pick up the phone and call Margaret. 

“Margaret? It’s Josh. I’m feeling…sick and I won’t be able to make it back to the office. Let Leo know for me, will you? Thanks.” I hang up the phone and see the most beautiful smile on my wife’s face. “I don’t think I even know what to do when you’re playing hooky from the office.” I smile back.

“I think I can help you with that.” She offers and I slide onto the bed with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I thought Josh was going to have the finished language for me to review by now.” The President complains.

“Yeah, well, he went home sick.” I admit, waiting for the explosion.

“Sick?” He repeats. “He looked fine this morning; pissed, but fine.”

I manage to quell the urge to tell him he ought to get used to that expression and settle for a direct answer. “Something came up in Donna’s deposition. It was cut short, Josh got a phone call, and then he called Margaret saying he was sick.” I shrug. “That’s all Jackie knew…or all she was willing to tell Margaret.”

“You don’t think there’s a problem with the pregnancy?” The President asks, real concern coloring his voice. I wish Josh could hear it. It might go a ways in helping to repair their relationship. To say things have been tense around here is a gross understatement.

“I didn’t get that impression, no sir.” I reply. “But Ainsley Hayes is coming up to give me the play by play, so…”

“All right, you’ll tell me if there’s something I should…” I look closely at my friend and see something in his face that I haven’t seen recently; uncertainty.

“Yes, sir.” I assure him. “Josh will come around, Mr. President. He’s just…disappointed right now.”

“Disappointed?” Jed laughs humorlessly. “That’s the least of it.” He pauses a second and seems to be weighing the pros and cons of saying something to me.

“What?” I prompt him.

“It’s just…I didn’t mean to…If I had had any idea then, that keeping this secret would cause all of …THIS now…I would have told you. I would have told the whole team, the whole country.” Jed’s nearly shouting now. “Donna doesn’t need to be dealing with the stress of a Congressional deposition right now and that’s just one tiny part of the repercussions.”

“I know.” I think the best thing I can do right now is just listen.

“I never dreamed I had an actual shot at winning. I never dreamed…” Jed shakes his head and gets up to pace. “Then after Illinois, I looked around and I could taste it, Leo, God help me I could taste it and for the first time I REALLY wanted it.”

“Then I rationalized it. The M.S. wasn’t affecting me in any way. I was married to a world class doctor who would KNOW if it was affecting me and she said it wouldn’t show up on anything so nobody would have to do anything unethical.”

“Sounds like you’re still rationalizing pretty good, there.” I comment.

“I’ve gotten pretty good at it over the years.” Jed laughs again. “Now I look around at these people I was so proud to be leading and I can see I’ve lost their respect. I don’t know what to do to fix it Leo.”

“Me either, but the only way things are going to start to get better is if you tell them what you just told me. You need to apologize.” I pause. “I know that’s not an activity you engage in a lot…”

“I know how to apologize, Leo.” He says impatiently.

“To someone besides Abby?” I press.

“Well…” He chuckles. 

“Well.” I repeat, then I see Margaret signaling me from the hall. The President nods his permission for me to go. When I get into my office, Ainsley Hayes is waiting for me. First things first.

“Is Donna okay?” Ainsley blinks at my question. “I heard the deposition got called off. Are Donna and the baby okay?”

“Oh! Yes, they’re both…fine.” Ainsley nods a little too vigorously.

“What aren’t you telling me, Ainsley?”

“Donna’s a little…upset.” She hedges. I hate dealing with lawyers. “There was a need for a break, so I took one. We’ll resume tomorrow afternoon.”

“Then I shouldn’t be worried?”

“Well…”

“Ainsley…”

“Leo, I think you’re just going to have to trust me on this when I tell that there are things, which you in your present position, just don’t need to know all the details of. I mean, either you trust me to handle the intricacies of these depositions or you don’t and if you don’t then you should clearly --”

“All right!” I have to interrupt her or I’m going to throw myself out a window. “You’ll tell me if there’s something I need to know?”

“Need to know? Yes.” She agrees a little too quickly.

“Okaaaaaay. Thanks.” I dismiss her and she practically runs from the office. I’d bet all the cash in my wallet she’s going down to spill whatever it is to Sam. And I carry a lot of cash in my wallet. Oddly, her spilling to Sam makes me feel better. Ainsley’s a first class attorney but she doesn’t always see the political forest for the trees. Sam will know if I need to be in the loop, but I hope Ainsley’s right and it’s all under control. I would like to have just one day without something blowing up in my face.

TBC


	9. When the Bough Breaks

I’m stuck.

I’m blocked.

I’m stumped.

I have NO idea what to type. My cursor is sitting on a blank page just blinking there monotonously and mocking me. 

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

This sucks.

I’ve lost my talent. I’ve lost my pizzazz for the written word. I’ve lost my interest in writing anything.

But beyond that, I’ve lost the President’s voice. 

Who is this man I’ve been writing for all these years? Has he just been spewing my words out and not believing in any of them? How can I write for him when I have absolutely no idea if he likes what I make him say? 

“Dear America.” I type. “I’m a schmuck and I’m sorry.” I smile ruefully at the screen for a minute before continuing. “I lied. Why you ask? Because I’m a politician and that’s what we do.”

But that’s not what he does. Somewhere deep down inside me, I can hear that voice. “He’s still the real thing. He just screwed up. The man is only human.” The voice sounds annoyingly like Josh.

I delete the text and close my laptop as my lovely wife slams into my office.

Damn, she’s pissed. What’d I do?

“Aaagghh!” she shouts and slams the door, then closes the blinds. She kicks the couch. She picks up a binder and slams it on a chair, kicks the couch again, and then slams the binder on the desk a few times.

“Ainsley?” I ask with great trepidation. “Cupcake? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She smiles demurely. 

“Oh, okay.” I reply completely unconvinced as she starts to slam the binder around again. “Buttercup?” She hates all the pet names, but as my wife and I agree on…pretty much nothing, I have my fun. “How’d Donna’s deposition go?”

“Oh, just fine.” She drawls with a smile that just oozes Southern politeness. I know that smile well. It’s the one her incredibly Republican parents give me all the time.

“I sense sarcasm.” I quip.

“You’ve always been so observant, sweetie.”

“What happened?” I ask.

“I really don’t think I should tell you.” She sighs heavily and sits down.

“Shit. She perjured herself?” I whisper. Ainsley’s eyes go real wide. Nice poker face, honey. “Sweetheart, it’s all over your face and there’s really no other explanation.”

“I told Josh. I think Donna’s pissed, but I had to. She was going to do something illegal!”

“Going to?” I arch a brow.

“I mean something else.” She shakes her head.

“What’d she lie about? I mean, there’s no way Donna could have known about the President’s MS, unless…” I break off. “Well, unless Josh knew and told her which is an impossibility on all fronts.” 

Toby’s pissed as all hell that Josh found out first. I’m reasonably sure in the back of Toby’s mind, he thinks Josh knew all along and the three of them didn’t trust the rest of us enough to tell us. 

Now, I’ll grant you that Josh as DCOS is often on the inside of things we have no idea about, but he would have NEVER dragged me into all of this knowing that. No way. I believe Josh when he says he found out immediately before we did.

“She didn’t.” Ainsley says. This is a fine line here now. Donna’s not just someone Ainsley took to a deposition, she’s family. This conversation right now is between me and my wife about her cousin and something stupid she did. “Cliff asked if she kept a diary and she said no, only she does.”

“You know that for a fact?”

“Yes.”

“She admitted it to you?”

“Yes. She lived with me; I’ve seen her write in it.” She nods. “Sam, I can certainly understand the embarrassment she’d feel about having the diary turned over to the committee to read, but when it comes down to it, it’s just her opinions on things and --”

“Honey, open your eyes.” I say gently. “If Donna’s diligent about keeping a diary, don’t you think she’s written stuff in there about her husband?” 

I wait a moment as Ainsley draws all the appropriate connections and her eyes go real wide. “Oh my God.”

“Donna’s not going to offer Josh up on a silver platter to the Republicans. She’ll sooner burn the book and go to jail for it.” I shrug. 

“Sam! I can’t let this continue. I HAVE to tell the committee.”

“You have to talk to Josh.” Sam says. 

“Sam, I can’t be a party to --”

“No, no, no, no!” I cut her off immediately. “I’m not saying that at all. Of course you have to do something about it. I’m just saying there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I lean back in the booth as my old friend slides in across from me.

“You look like an idiot.” I say to Matt. He’s wearing a Mets hat and sunglasses. “Are you actually in disguise?”

“No.” he immediately denies and I keep looking at him. “Maybe.”

“All of Washington D.C. knows we’re friends.” I point out.

“You realize you picked a pizza joint in Vienna, right?” he shoots back.

“It’s convenient to the Metro.” I shrug.

“Bull shit.”

“This is ridiculous.” I reply. “EVERYONE knows we’re friends. They all know my wife works for you. No one’s going to believe we haven’t talked in weeks. I want my friend back.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I really have to talk to you.”

“Is this going to be bad for you?” 

“That’s a gray area.” I reply.

“What’d you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“What’d the President do?”

“Other than not disclose an illness to the American public? Nothing that I know if.” I reply. “No, it’s about Donna.”

“DONNA did something bad?”

“Donna did something VERY bad.” I say lowering my voice. Ainsley’s having a cow, which is completely understandable. She wanted to call the committee now, but I convinced her to wait a day and push off Donna’s dep a few more days.

“What’s going on?” Matt looks very concerned. 

“She lied to the committee. They asked her if she kept a diary and she said no.” 

His eyes go real wide and he leans back in the booth. “Oh, shit.” He says on an exhale.

“I walked in the bathroom seconds before she was going to light the thing on fire.”

“If she didn’t know about the President’s MS, other than the personal violation of the committee reading her thoughts, why wouldn’t she want it turned over?” he asks and I look at him a long moment. “You.”

“Yeah.” I confirm.

“You’ll never get that book from her.” 

“I have it.” 

“She’s going to let you turn it over?” He asks incredulously.

“No, she’ll probably divorce me if I did that. I’m thinking of calling Cliff and letting just him read it. Or Ainsley will call Cliff. Ainsley vouches for him.”

“He’s a decent guy.” Matt nods. “Want me to do it?”

I’ve really missed my friend. This guy wants to run for President of the United States one day and because we’ve always been closer than brothers, he’s willing to dive right into these ethically gray waters to help me if I needed him to. But that’s what got the current President in hot water and I’m obviously not going to do that to the future one sitting across from me.

“Thanks, but Ainsley went to college with him. I’m sure she can handle it.” I smile. “I don’t want you any deeper than I’m making you now. I just kinda wanted your read on the situation.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming. I should have warned her about that kind of question.”

“You’re not supposed to be talking about it.”

“Yeeaaah…” he says slowly. “We’re sitting here talking about it in a covert pizzeria in Bumblefuck, Virginia. That ship has sailed, buddy.”

I chuckle and look down and shake my head as the waitress comes and takes our order. Matt orders a pie and a pitcher of beer.

“Aren’t you pissed at her?” he asks me.

“I’m trying to be.” I confess. “I mean, most of me is ragingly pissed off at her. She’s willing to perjure herself, destroy evidence and go to jail so I don’t get bad press.”

“It’s not just bad press, Josh.” 

I press my palms to my eyes and sigh. “Yeah. Which is why it makes it hard for me to be completely pissed. I can’t let her go to jail. If I have to move to Canada in the middle of the night, I’m not letting her go to jail.”

“Cliff’s a decent guy, but I think you should let me make the call. Ainsley’s a lawyer, and a damn good one, but she’s not a politician.”

“Neither is Cliff.” I reply as the waitress brings our beer.

“Yeah, but this needs a certain finesse.” He says.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Yeah, that’s a no.” He says. 

“How’s Scott?” I ask changing the subject.

“Good. He’s tired of my whining.”

“Whining about what?”

“Not seeing my friend.” 

“He should commiserate with Donna.”

“He has been.”

“So, this is pretty serious with him. You’re living together.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“If you were on my side of the Marriage Recognition Act…”

“Stop.” He warns.

“I’m just saying.”

“I don’t know how many barriers I’m going to be able to break in four years, you know?” he replies.

“What?”

“Listen, I’m not an idiot. I have a big enough challenge ahead of me, but I don’t know how the country would feel about having a male First Lady.”

“Does Scott even know you’re thinking about running?” I ask as the pizza comes. Matt shrugs and my jaw drops. “Bad. Idea.”

“I just think I’d have a better chance if I were single.” 

“I don’t think it’s going to make a damn bit of difference.” 

“Let’s just stick to the felony thing right now, okay?”

I pick up my pizza and shake my head. I don’t like this plan one bit. But he’s right. First things first.

TBC


	10. When the Bough Breaks

“Will you please, for the love of God, go home?” He asks me again. I simply shake my head ‘no’ guessing that nobody wants to hear me say it again any more than I want to say it again. 

“There’s no reason for you to be here for this.” He continues unabated. My husband can be such an idiot sometimes. 

“There’s no reason for YOU to be here. It’s my diary.” I maintain. Ainsley, Sam and Matt are all trying their best to ignore both of us. 

“As your legal representative, I can turn over the document to Cliff and wait until he’s done looking at it. None of you need to be here.” Ainsley chimes in. I think she’s still pretty pissed at me for lying in the deposition, but that’s fine because I’m pretty pissed at her for calling Josh and breaking attorney client privilege. In fact, I may have a cause of action. I paid her a buck!

“I don’t want you to be my legal representative anymore.” I sniff. “Consider yourself fired.”

“Gee, Donna, I’d refund your payment in full but I used it to buy a FRESCA from the vending machine earlier!”

“Okay, hold on.” Sam intervenes just as I was about to stun her with a witty retort. “I think it’s fair to say that tensions are running high and there is no shortage of raging hormones here--”

“Are you saying we’re overreacting because we’re pregnant?” Ainsley fires her venom at her husband.

“What a load of sexist bullshit.” I pile on.

“I was only pointing out that you two shouldn’t say anything you’ll regret in one moment of high emotions.” Sam tries to defend himself.

“Say anything we’ll regret?” I repeat. “What, like you just did? Gee, Sam, are YOU hormonal?” I bat my eyes at him and see that my cousin has taken up a similar expression sitting next to him.

“All right…I’m just going to sit here quietly and order another coffee.” Sam decides. Good choice.

“Oh, and some french fries.” Ainsley adds.

“Cupcake, it’s like ten at night. Are you sure you should be eating all that salt before--”

“I thought you were being quiet. Are you sure you want to question my menu choices right now?” Ainsley shoots back. Sam turns a desperate look at Josh.

“Help?” He whispers, but Josh simply shrugs in response.

“Where the hell is this friend of yours?” Josh asks Matt.

“He’ll be here any minute.” Matt sighs. “You ask the guy to come out in the middle of the night for a clandestine meeting with a group of Bartlet people…”

“I just hope you’re right about him. That he’s someone I can trust.” I say softly and feel Matt’s hand stroking my back in support.

“He’s a good guy, Donna, and he gave me his word.” Matt explains. “I would never trust him with this if I wasn’t certain that he’d keep his word.”

His ‘word’ was that he’d review the ‘document’ and if it substantiated my testimony that I never knew anything about the MS before the anonymous envelope arrived in Matt’s office, then he’d hand it back to us with no further questions and no charges of obstruction or lying under oath. It was a good deal all the way around; as long as Cliff Calley keeps his word. It feels like a big gamble.

“If he doesn’t, we’d have lots of legal maneuvers to exhaust before you’d ever be looking at a criminal conviction.” Sam assures me. Thanks Sam.

“Why are you here again?” Matt asks.

“Moral support.” Sam replies.

“Right.” Matt says like that much was obvious. Josh is tapping his fork on the table, over and over again. I finally put my hand over his to stop the frantic motion. He sighs, looks at his watch, and put his hand over mine and squeezes it. I look around the table at all the people dealing with the fallout of my lie and a nice layer of guilt covers the thick layer of anxiety I’m already feeling. Then the door of the coffee shop opens and Cliff Calley walks in. His eyes go a little wide at the large group gathered, but he approaches us nonetheless.

“Cliff, thanks for coming.” Matt rises and shakes his hand. 

“This better be just what you say it is.” Cliff notes.

“It is. I’m placing the welfare of two people I consider family in your hands. I’ve given them my word that they can trust you. Don’t make me a liar.” Matt advises him and turns to Josh who has kept possession of my diary since my ill fated attempt to burn the damn thing.

Josh reluctantly stands up and pulls the damn diary out of his backpack. He swaggers up to Cliff, no other term for it fits, but holds off on passing the diary over. 

“This diary has nothing to do with your cause of action and your cause of action has nothing to do with my wife.” He says quietly. “If you use this in any way that causes her one more night of lost sleep or ticks her blood pressure up at all, I will make it my life’s work to bury you and I mean that both literally and figuratively.”

“Josh is going to be a father soon.” Matt explains and Cliff’s eyebrows go up.

“Congratulations.” He offers with a slight smile and holds his hand out for the diary. Josh hesitates one last second and then slaps it into Cliff’s outstretched hand. I flinch.

“We’ll be waiting here. You’ve got an hour.” Josh instructs him. Cliff doesn’t waste a minute and retreats to a booth in the back of the coffee shop to read all my private thoughts and feelings. I want to die.

“French fries, Donnatella?” Josh asks me in what I’m sure is an effort to distract me from what’s going on a few feet from us. 

“Have I ever turned down french fries?” I shoot back. If he can pretend, then so can I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I lose track of how many times I pause in my scanning of the diary. It’s really quite a fascinating look at Washington politics, but besides that, it’s a gripping personal narrative. 

Both Ainsley and Matt have sworn that Donna (alone or through Josh) had no information about the President’s MS before that envelope arrived at Matt’s office, but both denied ever reading the diary, too, so their pronouncements were based on their opinion of Donna not facts. There must have been a compelling reason for her to lie about the existence of this diary and I can’t just take the word of my friends that it was personal.

However, I don’t have to go back too far before I see the reason she balked at turning this over to the sworn enemies of her husband, to whom she is clearly devoted. PTSD. Damn. You’re doing your job, serving the President of the United States, when BAM out of nowhere you’re hit by a bullet and spiraled into a whole different ballgame. Her descriptions of his symptoms, her fear, and an emergency room visit on Christmas Eve get to me. 

I skim through a few more months as the pages are mostly consumed with wedding plans and then I see another story unfolding. Month after month of being disappointed when they didn’t get pregnant, doctor’s appointments, and dreams that were fading are finally put to rest just a short time ago with the news that Donna is pregnant. I haven’t heard anything about it on the hill and that place lives for gossip, so they must be keeping it quiet for now. I close the book feeling like a voyeur into the lives of the Deputy Chief of Staff and his wife. I had to look at it; I needed to be sure, but now I can’t help feeling slimy.

I take another look at the table across the room. It appears to be filled with friends; even though there are hard corps members of both political groups present. There’s some laughter and though I can’t make out the exact words, I can hear the tone and it’s light and teasing. They were reluctant to hand me this diary and who can blame them? 

Technically, I guess Donna Moss Lyman could have stuck to her lie and I don’t know if we’d have ever found out, but there was something within them that insisted they come clean even if it meant putting potentially dangerous information into the hands of someone who could hurt them with it. I don’t agree with a SINGLE policy they’re pushing, but I can’t help admire what I’ve seen and read tonight.

I get up and slowly walk over to their table and hear their laughter pause, watch their expressions turn serious. It’s like I’m the grim reaper or something. 

“I think this belongs to you.” I hand Donna her diary and she hesitates before she takes it with shaking fingers. She doesn’t meet my eye. I don’t blame her.

“And?” Ainsley asks. As Donna’s counsel of record, I’m sure she’s particularly interested in my judgment of all this. 

“There’s nothing in there that would help the committee do its job.” I tell her. 

“And the rest?” Matt presses.

“Rest of what?” I play dumb.

“The rest of what’s in the diary.” Josh clarifies.

“What diary?” I ask and turn on my heel to leave them alone. I get outside the shop and make it almost all the way down the street, but then I have to turn back and look. I just have to, you know?

I see Donna weeping on her husband’s shoulder. He’s holding her close and speaking softly to her. I can tell by how close his mouth is to her ear. The rest of the group is just watching the two of them with smiles of relief on their faces. I wonder if she’ll be adding this story to her diary…I doubt it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Josh, wait!” I giggle while he kisses my neck. I’m trying valiantly to get the key in the lock of our front door. 

“Believe me, I’m waiting.” He drawls and continues his exploration of my neck which completely distracts me from the task at hand.

“Josh!” I try to scold him but it comes out laughing. I’m hopeless at scolding him right now. He’s more than a little drunk and I am high on life at the moment. After we got my diary back from Cliff Calley, the guys insisted that we move our little ‘party’ to Matt’s place. Scott seemed a little surprised to see all of us, but he handled it better than I would have had the positions been reversed. 

Then the strangest thing happened. Josh started asking Scott all these questions that clearly didn’t sit well with Matt. Matt, in retaliation, started giving Josh beer. Josh kept asking Scott questions, but they got pretty mangled after the third beer so Matt didn’t seem to mind as much. Ainsley and I, due to our current conditions, became the de facto designated drivers. Honestly, neither of us minded. It’s been very stressful for our guys and they deserved to blow off a little steam. But that’s not to stay that we won’t tell them they owe us for it later.

So this is how I end up with an inebriated Deputy Chief of Staff attached to my neck while I try to unlock our door. Just when I decide to give up and just have sex with Josh in the hall, Mrs. Edelstein from down the hall comes upon us. 

“Oh, leave the poor girl alone, Joshua.” She chuckles. “Otherwise she’ll never get the door open.”

“Mrs. Edelstein!” My husband calls out with glee. He adores Mrs. Edelstein. Apparently, she helped take care of him when he first got home after Rosslyn, bringing him homemade food and checking in on him. He’s adored her ever since. “You look beautiful this evening.” He kissed her cheek.

“You look intoxicated, Josh.” She shoots back. For a 70 something year old woman, she can keep up pretty well with my man.

“I am intoxicated by your beauty.” He counters. I give him a look. “The beauty surrounding me.” He corrects himself. Even drunk my man can spin. I unlock the door and push it open in relief. “Isn’t my Donna radiant?” Oh, brother.

“She certainly is.” Mrs. Edelstein remarks. I love this woman. “One might even say she’s glowing…” My eyes grow wide. How could she possibly know-

“That’s `cause she’s pregnant.” Josh stage whispers and Mrs. Edelstein’s smile gets even wider.

“That’s wonderful news!” She exclaims and pulls me into her embrace. “Congratulations, honey.”

“Thanks.” I’m so overwhelmed by her correct guess and her joyful reaction that I can barely squeak out the word and my eyes tear up again.

“Joshua, you need to take extra good care of Donna now, you hear?”

“I always do.” Josh protests. “Just tonight I--”

“Josh!” I interrupt him before his drunken ramblings get us both into trouble. “You need to come inside now; sleep this off.”

“Okay.” He immediately capitulates and walks inside. Then, on second thought, he steps back into the hall and kisses Mrs. Edelstein on the cheek again. “I’m going to be a dad.”

“You’ll be a very good one, I’m sure.” She pats his cheek and watches with amusement as he drunkenly tries to navigate his way through our apartment.

“How did you know?” I ask her.

“I had six children, Donna. I know the signs. And you ARE glowing. Good night.”

“Night.” I call back to her before I shut and lock the door. I find Josh on our bed, fully clothed except for his tie which somehow made it to the floor.

I kick off my shoes, which incidentally don’t feel right anymore, and lay down next to him. He raises his head, smiles, and starts the kissing again.

“Josh…” I chuckle. “You need some sleep.”

“I need you more.” He contradicts me and it makes my insides turn to warm mush. 

“Really?” I whisper. The last couple days have been hell because of me and I guess I just need to be reassured here.

“Always.” He swears and puts his right hand over his heart. When I think about how close he came to having his heart stop forever... I love him so much. “Besides,” He says with a smirk. “Mrs. Edelstein told me to take extra good care of you. You wouldn’t want me to break my promise, would you?”

“No, that would be awful.” I reply and start kissing him back while I unbutton his shirt. What? I know she said he should take care of me right now but the honest truth is that we always do better when we take care of each other.

TBC


	11. When the Bough Breaks

I’ve always found Air Force One to be pretty peaceful. I don’t know if it’s because the plane is so damn big and you can easily, believe it or not, find a place to hide and lay low or maybe because it’s because the President is so fond of flying at night, I’m not sure, but I typically feel pretty relaxed on Air Force Once.

Except for this moment right now.

Because in this moment, Abbey and the President are telling me that my wife has just been rushed to the emergency room with heavy bleeding and abdominal cramps. I feel the President’s hand come up to my back. He probably wants to make sure I don’t pitch forward into his wife.

“A miscarriage?” I whisper. 

“It’s definitely the fear right now, Josh, but there is a certain amount of bleeding and cramps that are normal.” Abbey says.

That was sheer placation on her part. Minor bleeding and cramps doesn’t send someone to the emergency room via screaming ambulance.

I suddenly feel lightheaded. 

“Jed…” Abbey says in warning, but as the President reaches out for me, I dive into the bathroom and throw up violently. 

Right this minute, Donna is experiencing the lowest point in her life and I’m in the fucking Valhalla Vector. 

I sit up against the bathroom wall and Abbey kneels in the doorway. “It’s an empty consolation, Josh, I know, but a woman’s body doesn’t just abort a healthy baby.” Well, at least she’s not trying to blow sunshine in my face anymore.

I rub my eyes and choke back a sob. “Is Donna in a lot of pain right now?”

“The medics would have given her something in the ambulance.”

“They can’t give her something to stop it?”

“There’s nothing to stop a miscarriage, Josh.” Abbey says gently. “If that’s what’s going on, there’s nothing anyone can do.” 

“She’s all by herself.” I say, unashamed to let Abbey Bartlet see my anguish for my wife.

“Congressman Skinner is with her now.” Abbey says. “She was having dinner at the Congressman’s house and Agent Casper and Ellie were there.”

“I want to talk to her.”

“They’ll have knocked her out, Josh.” 

“How long until we land?” I ask tonelessly. 

“Two hours.” The President says. “I’m so very sorry, Josh. There really aren’t any words. You’ll fly with me back from Andrews to the White House.” 

Great. Because the last thing I need right now is to land in Maryland and drive all the way to DC. When you’re not traveling by Presidential motorcade, it’s a bit of a haul.

Abbey stands up and backs away, content to just let me sit here for a while I guess. I’m not really compelled to move. I doubt the President and First Lady are going to send me off to the senior staff cabin now. I run a hand down my face and pull out my cell phone. Matt answers on the first ring.

“Hey.”

“Is she awake?”

“No.” 

I pause. “I don’t suppose…”

“I prayed and prayed, but…”

I clench my eyes shut and stifle another sob. Matt must hear it. “They drugged her really fast, Josh. She didn’t feel most of it.” 

“How did it happen? What was going on?”

“I was on the phone with Mike when she showed up at my house. She said she didn’t feel well and she was afraid to be by herself. She didn’t say it, but I think she kinda knew what was going on. Of course, I had no clue. When I told Mike that she was there and what was going on, Ellie dragged him over. Ellie was the one who called the ambulance.”

“I don’t land for two hours.”

“I got nowhere to be.”

“Except work in the morning.”

“I got nowhere to be, Josh.” 

“Thanks.”

I snap my phone shut and drop my head back against the wall. 

A question that can’t be answered by science drives me up the wall. I’m not in the dark here. I did the required pregnancy reading. Miscarriages just happen. My mind knows that, yet my heart is still shattered.

Questions that science can’t answer are the scariest of all because then they fall back on something I typically don’t possess: faith. Why did Donna’s body abort the pregnancy? Why didn’t that bullet kill me? That bullet should have killed me and Donna should have been able to carry that child full term. Surely that bullet didn’t kill me just so I could experience this shit, right? After all our trying and all our disappointments, THIS is what we get? 

Where’s this fair and just God? THIS is what I survived a bullet for? Only to be crushed by my President and heartbroken for my child? 

My phone rings again and Matt’s number scrolls across the screen.

“Yeah?” I answer.

“Josh?” She’s so faint, I barely even heard her.

“I love you, baby; I’ll be there soon.”

She comes to pieces through the phone and though I can’t hold her, I cry with her. THIS is what I survived that bullet for. For her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I move to through the corridors of GW, my feet feel like they’ve got cinder blocks tied to them. Each step I take brings me closer to my reality. Once I cross the threshold into Donna’s room, I will no longer be a pending father.

I am still, however, a husband and when I see her lying in the bed asleep, I sigh heavily. Matt looks up from where he’s been keeping a vigil next to her bed. A better friend on this planet you will not find. 

He doesn’t say a word. He just crosses the room and gives me the hug I’ve so desperately needed and I come apart and cry into his shoulder. I finally let go when I hear Donna’s voice. Then I move to her bed and give her the same comfort I just got from my best friend.

I stroke her hair and mindlessly croon things in her ear. I have no idea what I’m saying, which is just as good because I doubt I’d believe them myself if I did. 

I know one day it won’t hurt like this. I know one day, she won’t cry. 

“I’m so sorry.” She cries into my chest. “I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s not your fault.” I hush. “You did nothing wrong. These things just happen.” 

“There’s something wrong with me, Josh, there’s got to be. It took over a year just to get pregnant.”

“Sshh. Knock it off, Donna. You’re perfect. Something obviously wasn’t going right. This happens to, like, 60 percent of women or something like that. It. Just. Happens.”

That I’m positive of. I have no idea what forces of nature were at play here, but I know it’s nothing she had any control over. 

I hook my finger under her chin and lift her face to mine. “And it doesn’t mean that’s it. Okay? As soon as the doctor says it’s okay, we try again.” 

“Okay.” She nods with a whisper.

“As many times as we have to, Donna.” I vow. “I mean, I’m tireless when it comes to the babymaking making part.”

“Josh!” she groans with an eye roll. 

“Just so you know, I’m stepping up here.” I grin a bit. 

“You’re incorrigible.” She says and gives me a little shove. But there’s a shadow of a smile on her face. My work here is far from done, but any moment she doesn’t cry is a victory.

TBC


	12. When the Bough Breaks

I could scream, literally scream, right now. I just can’t take it anymore and Josh doesn’t seem to get that.

“Hey, I’ll get that. You go lie down.” He tells me and takes the ice cream and bowl out of my hands. I grab it back in a fit of pique. “Donna, let me get it for you.”

“No!” Unable to control my emotions, I start crying at the same time I yell my response so it loses some of its effectiveness.

“Okay, okay.” He lifts his palms up to me in surrender. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to help.”

“I’m not an invalid. I don’t need your help. Just leave me alone, okay?!” I demand and try not to look into his wide eyes. “I just want to be alone.”

I walk quickly out of the kitchen and into the bedroom where I slam the door closed. I ditch the bowl and eat the ice cream directly out of the container. This rage inside me is boiling over and even ice cold ice cream is doing nothing to bring it back down to a simmer. I need a distraction.

I pull open my laptop intent on finding something else to read, watch, or listen to. It opens to the homepage that I’d programmed and “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” pops up which just sends me reeling all over again. My sobs alert my husband who slowly opens the door to peer in on me. He’s probably checking to see if I’ve broken up into a million pieces yet.

“Get. Out.” I tell him from between clenched teeth.

“Donna…”

“Get. OUT!” I scream and he visibly startles, pauses a second, then turns around and does as I request…finally.

I hoist my laptop off the bed and against the wall, but my lack of strength at the moment is evident in my paltry throw and it just gives an unsatisfactory thunk. I have to get out of here. I just can’t stay here any longer. I pick up the phone and dial a number from memory.

“Mom?” I answer shakily once I hear her voice. “I want to come home.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hear a loud thunk come from the bedroom and it takes everything within me not to throw the door open again just to make sure she’s all right. A moment later, I can still hear her crying and give a huge sigh of relief that whatever that was, it didn’t seem to hurt her any further. I’m at my wits end, I swear. I don’t know what to do to help her and today she doesn’t even want me in the same room with her. I’m saved from making any immediate decision by a knock at the door.

“Josh…” I’m enveloped by my cousin-in-law who’s already crying her eyes out. Great. This is sure to cheer Donna and me up. I’m rescued by Sam, who gently removes his wife from my arms and gives me a brief hug himself. 

“We’re so sorry.” He says quietly and I nod, unable to say anything else. 

“Where’s Donna?” Ainsley asks and I nod my head to the bedroom. “Is she sleeping?”

“I wish. I don’t think she’s slept except for cat naps here and there since I brought her home yesterday morning.” I explain. They kept her overnight for observation and a D&C procedure which was SO much fun, let me tell you. Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse, we got the medical report. The baby, they said fetus but please, the baby girl was developing normally so they wanted to explore further to find the reason for the spontaneous abortion. 

They did a few tests that included an MRI. Then came the truly horrible news. They told us that because of a problem with Donna’s uterus, with a Latin medical name I can’t even pronounce, Donna will not be able to carry a baby to term. Just like that; one simple sentence and all our hopes and dreams of a family were destroyed. 

Donna spent the rest of the day in a sort of shocked stupor. I’m sure the drugs she’d been fed regularly had something to do with it but it was spooky. She just had this blank stare on her face while she told me how sorry she was that she couldn’t give me any children. I stayed with her all night, but I swear her eyes didn’t close the whole time. 

I thought maybe once I got her home things would get better, but instead, they’ve gotten worse. She won’t eat, says she can’t sleep, and my very presence seems to set her off. It’s like seeing me reminds her that we can’t have kids. Intellectually, I guess I can understand that and I’m not trying to equate what I’m going through with what she’s going through. She was the one carrying the baby. But I lost a child too and I want to grieve with my wife. We need each other more than ever right now.

“Can I go back?” Ainsley asks hesitantly and I’m not sure how to answer. It might help Donna to see the cousin she’s always been so close to, but on the other hand, with Ainsley being pregnant right now, it might make things worse.

“Maybe we should wait.” I hedge not wanting to hurt Ainsley, but not wanting to admit that Donna ordered me out of her sight just minutes ago. Just as I’m about to change my mind, the door opens and Donna walks out. She looks like hell. Her normally fair skin is nearly translucent and there are dark circles under her eyes. Her hair is all over the place and her eyes appear glazed over and red rimmed. “Ainsley and Sam stopped by.”

“I see.” She replies and without acknowledging them at all turns to me. “I’m going to go home for a few days.” Ainsley gasps but I’m lost by what she’s saying. Go home? She’s already home.

“What?” 

“To Wisconsin?” Ainsley follows up and now it’s my turn to gasp.

“I need to get away for a few days.” She tells me, still not looking at Sam or Ainsley.

“Uh….okay…” I’m trying to think fast. If I give some of my stuff to Sam and the rest to Toby, I could manage a few days. I’ll figure out a way to make it work. If she needs to get out of town for a couple days, then that’s what we’ll do. “Let me call Leo and farm some stuff out and-“

“No.” She shakes her head quickly. “I’m going alone. You can’t get away right now anyway, with all the hearings and the re-election campaign-“

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I interrupt her. “Of course I’m going with you. God, Donna, do you think work is more important to me than you?”

For the first time, she fleetingly glances over at our guests who are valiantly trying to study the pattern in the carpet and give us some privacy. 

“I think it would be better if I went alone.” She finally whispers. “My flight leaves in 4 hours.” She turns on her heel and walks back to the bedroom, presumably to pack. I sink into the chair when I feel my limbs shaking. I’ve just lost my child. Is it possible that I’m losing my wife too?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I write for a living. I write for the President of the United States. I am, all humility aside, exceptionally good at what I do, and I have no words for the scene I’ve just witnessed. I don’t know who I hurt for most at this moment, Josh or Donna. It’s been a horrible roller coaster ride for them over the last 48 hours, but I honestly believed that once they got home they’d be able to hold each other up, the way they always do for each other, and start healing. It appears as though I was terribly wrong.

I exchange an incredulous look with my wife and she motions that she’s going to take the risk of bearding the lion in its’ den and go talk to Donna. Good luck, baby. I take a seat next to my friend and struggle to find something to say to him. I settle for putting my hand on his arm and squeezing.

“She won’t listen to Ainsley.” He says tonelessly. 

“Maybe she will. She might.” I try for optimism. “She may get halfway to Wisconsin, realize she’s making a huge mistake and come right back home.”

“She just said home WAS Wisconsin.” 

“She didn’t mean it.” I assure him. That much I know is true. Donna has bent over backward to make a home here with Josh, even before they were engaged. “Josh, listen to me. She didn’t mean it. I know that for certain. She’s just…understandably…confused and upset. Once she gets some sleep and is able to think straight again--”

“I’m losing her, Sam.” His voice breaks on the simple sentence. “What have I done that I deserve to be punished this way? That everyone important to me is taken away from me?”

I don’t know how to respond to that. 

“My whole life is turning to shit right before my eyes. My career, my family…” I want to argue the truth of that with him, but I can’t. He’s right; it is.

Ainsley chooses that moment to return to us. “I can’t talk her out of going. She has it in her head that everything will be better in Wisconsin and I can’t shake her out of it. I’m sorry.” She kneels next to Josh and put a hand on his knee. “She wants me to take her to the airport.”

Josh closes his eyes. When he opens them again, his eyes look dead; no emotion shows in them. “You’ll make sure she gets on her flight okay?”

“Of course.” Ainsley promises him. “If it helps, her mother will probably drive her insane within the first 24 hours and she’ll be back here in no time.”

Josh nods solemnly but doesn’t respond verbally. He slowly stands up and grabs his keys from the counter. “I’m going to…uh…go to the office, then. I might as well try to get something done… Will you call me once she takes off?”

“Josh, wait. Wait and say goodbye to her. Maybe seeing you will--”

“I can’t watch her walk out right now, Ainsley. I CAN’T, okay?” His voice breaks again and he continues walking to the door. “I can’t.” He repeats more calmly and simply walks out of his home like it’s any ordinary day and he’s going to the office. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been three days since Donna left for Wisconsin. She called me when she landed but I let the call go to voice mail. I couldn’t talk to her right then. Now, of course, I can torture myself by playing the message over and over again. I think I may be going insane. 

She’s sent a few emails; maybe I’m not the only one having trouble talking here. She told me she’s connected with a few old friends. I imagine it’s easier to interact with them since none of them knew she was pregnant in the first place so there’s no pitying glances or concerned looks from them. Her tone seems relatively upbeat, so maybe she was right and this was what she needed right now. It just kills me that I’M not what she needed right now.

Matt keeps telling me that that’s not true; that Donna just doesn’t know what she needs right now to make the pain go away. Matt’s been saying a lot to me over the last few days. He’s now my official keeper. I tell him he doesn’t need to check up on me or hang out with me each night but he keeps doing it. I’m lucky to have such a great friend. Who knew Republicans could be compassionate? 

I should probably go home, it’s after 9, but since there’s nobody to go home to and being there by myself depresses me, I’m thinking about crashing on Toby’s couch…again.

“Anything else before I take off?” My assistant Jackie asks and I shake my head ‘no’. “Did you eat any of the dinner I brought you?”

“Sure.” I lie without compunction. I don’t want to debate my eating habits right now. Word of Donna’s miscarriage spread like wildfire, so people have been tiptoeing around me for the last few days. It’s getting old, but I’m hardly in a position to tell them I’m fine and they don’t have to tiptoe around me when quite clearly, I’m not. 

Jackie looks skeptical about my lie but in the absence of any real proof, decides not to debate the point. Thank God. “Go home and get some sleep. Bruno wants to meet with you right after senior staff in the morning.”

“Joy.” I respond sarcastically and see Jackie grin. She thinks Bruno is a snake oil salesman; she may be right, but he’s a Democratic snake oil salesman and given the circumstances we need all the help we can get. “Night, Jackie. Thanks for…everything.” I finish inadequately but she smiles her understanding of what I’m trying to say. She’s been a Godsend these last few days. 

I reluctantly turn back to some polling data from the southwest in preparation for my meeting with Bruno tomorrow. I’ve found that if I work until my eyes actually start to close, then I can stumble to Toby’s couch and fall asleep a little easier.

“Why won’t you wear your glasses? You’re going to go blind reading in that crappy light without your glasses.” 

I must be hallucinating, because now I’m hearing Donna’s voice at work. I reluctantly look up, unsure of what I’ll see, but it looks like Donna standing in my doorway.

“Donna?”

“Have you forgotten me already? It’s only been three days.” She tells me.

“It seems longer.” I admit quietly, still sitting behind my desk.

“Yes, it does.” She agrees and steps further into my office. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“You have?”

Now she looks down at the floor, but she nods again. “I don’t know why I thought the answer was in Wisconsin when my life is in D.C.”

Now I get up and walk around my desk until we’re nearly toe to toe. “I wasn’t sure it was anymore.” I manage.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers. “I’m so sorry.” Unable to stand there and not touch her any longer I pull her quickly into my arms and we both cry together. “I couldn’t look at you without thinking about the baby and then I’d remember we can’t EVER have a baby and I didn’t know how you could stand to look at me.”

“Are you serious?” I reply in disbelief. “Donna, it’s not like you did something to make that happen or like you have any control over a medical condition. Jesus, Donna, do you blame me for having PTSD or heart problems?”

“Of course not!” She replies horrified. “But this is different. This is- this was our child.”

I pull my completely miserable wife far enough away from me that she can see my eyes clearly. “It’s exactly the same thing; circumstances that are beyond our control. I don’t blame you for this, I never did and I never could. Losing the baby…broke my heart. But losing you…please tell me I haven’t lost you through all this Donna.”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t want me back after the way I left you.” She admits. 

“It hurt. It hurt a lot. But sometime during day two it occurred to me that you had to be out of your mind with grief to do what you did and I hoped that once you felt a little better you’d want to come home to me.”

“I wanted to almost as soon as I landed in Wisconsin. I think if you’d answered the phone when I called after I landed, I would’ve just stayed on the plane and come back.” Donna buries her head in my neck and it feels perfect. I try to ignore the pang of guilt I feel for letting the call go to voice mail but the truth is, I was in a pretty awful place too. 

“I think we need some help dealing with all this, Donna.” I suggest cautiously and she pulls back from me to look at me quizzically.

“YOU are suggesting getting some help?” 

“Well…yeah…I learned something from that Christmas. You shouldn’t let things go so long that something irreversible could happen. We’ll go together and talk this through and come up with a plan.”

“A plan?” She repeats.

“We have other options, Donna, if you still want to have a family. If you don’t, that’s fine too, and I think it’s probably too early to even think about making that kind of decision, but we still have choices.” I tell her.

“Won’t you be disappointed that you can’t have children with me?” She asks and I try to see the question behind the question. This isn’t some nebulous conception problem; we know that the problem is with her uterus. Does she feel like it’s her fault we can’t have children? That I’d rather be with someone who can give me the children she thinks I want so much? 

“I’d love to have children, you know that, but the children I’d love to have are yours; because I love YOU and want a family with YOU. Just having kids is not the- Whether we adopt someday, or look at other conception options, or our family never grows beyond you and me, doesn’t matter to me in the least.”

“You won’t regret staying with me someday down the line when you’re the last Lyman in your family?” She clarifies and I start to see where her busy mind is heading.

“I swear I won’t.” I promise her and see her lips tremble before she nods her acceptance of my vow. 

“Can you leave now? I want to go home with my husband.” She tells me.

“There is nothing I’d like more.” I tell her honestly. Keeping one hand on her arm, I use the other hand to turn out the crappy light on my desk and we start out the door, pausing only long enough for me to grab my jacket and keys.

“What about your backpack?” She asks when we get to the threshold.

“It’s filled with work, and I’m not doing any more work tonight.” I tell her huskily. She smiles back at me as my meaning registers. Tonight is just for the two of us.

We clear the security gate quickly and the night officer calls out to us as we leave. “Have a good night Mrs. Lyman, Mr. Lyman.”

For the first time in almost a week I think we might have that good night we so desperately need.

TBC


	13. When the Bough Breaks

It’s late when I finally make it home. It’s been days since I saw this place in the daylight. Thank God Donna showed up tonight. There is nothing on this planet I won’t do for my best friend, but dealing with him when everything in his life is fine is draining; dealing with him when he’s going through a crisis… well, let’s just say when he gets amped up to a particular peak of Joshness, as Donna likes to say…you know what there really are no words. Suffice it to say, I’m tired, okay?

Scott pokes his head out of the kitchen, gives me a once over and disappears. “You eat?” he asks. 

“Yeah. We ordered out at the office.”

“The office?” He asks. “You weren’t at Josh’s?” 

I sigh heavily. Here we go. “No. I was at the office. It shouldn’t be that big of a surprise. I left a message on your cell.” 

“It’s just that you’ve been at Josh’s every night this week.”

“He’s my best friend; his wife had a miscarriage.”

“What’s wrong with our couch?” 

“He lost a child, his wife goes to Wisconsin and says he can’t go and I’m supposed to tell him he can’t even sleep in his own bed?” I counter. 

“I’m not indifferent to the situation.” Scott says, though you could have fooled me. “I’ve just been worried about you.” 

I hold my hands out in surrender. “As you can see, I’m fine.” 

“Yeah. Sure.” 

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What’s all this?” Josh emerges from the bedroom finally yawning. It’s just about 9 a.m. and I’ve been up for hours. I’ve got brochures and paperwork spread all around me with a pile of index cards. He picks up the empty stack and looks at me. “Are you working?”

“No.” I say shaking my head typing into my search engine.

He picks up a brochure and thumbs through it. “This is adoption stuff?” 

“Mostly.” I evade. I’m not quite sure what he’s going to think, but he finds the one brochure I keep going back to.

“Surrogacy?”

I shrug and look down. “It’s kinda of expensive.”

“Well, so’s adoption. How expensive?”

“Well, you’ve got to pay the surrogate mother and then there’s the cost of the procedure, so it could run about $60,000.”

He chokes out a gasp. I really don’t blame him. I’m in some serious sticker shock, too. But in for a penny, in for 60,000 of them right? 

I tentatively tilt the computer at him. “These are different agencies that do this kind of thing. We’d definitely need to go through a lawyer because it talks about different laws for different states, there’s all these legal agreements…”

“Donna?” he asks softly and I finally look him in the eye. “Is this what you want? You don’t want to adopt?”

“Well, I’m not completely turned off to adoption, but they have these people they call gestational carriers. They take my egg and your sperm and implant it into this…carrier, and it’s OUR baby. I know there’s so so many kids out there that need homes, but I guess I just…”

“It’s okay.” He says softly.

“$60,000 is a lot of money though.” 

“That’s what trust funds are for.”

I perk up at that. Josh has pretty much never talked about these trust funds. I know they’re there, of course, but what he’s planning on doing with all that money, I have no idea.

“Really?” I smile.

“Either that or you’re going to have to get a second job.” He smirks. 

“I’m not adverse to adoption.” I say quickly. “I’m really not. I guess this is just appealing to me because in the end, the child is still ours.” I can feel the hot tears pooling in my eyes and I make a vane attempt to wipe them away. “We’d still have the fun of wondering who they’re going to look like, what personality traits of us they have and…” I choke off. Josh puts a hand behind my head and pulls me to him in a kiss. 

“Sshh. Don’t cry, Donna. You don’t have to explain it to me. If this is what you want, I’m with you a hundred percent.”

“Really?” I ask hopefully.

“Stop asking that!” he laughs. “It sounds like a great solution. We get a baby that’s ours and I don’t have to deal with mood swings and cravings and you constantly having to pee…”

“Hey!” I say indignantly and smack his arm. 

He runs his fingers along the back of my neck while looking right into my eyes and my stomach turns somersaults. I’m not sure I’ll ever not have this feeling when he looks at me like that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, truth be told, the surrogacy thing kinda freaks me out. That some woman, who’s not my wife, is going to be carrying my baby when I didn’t, you know, put it there is a little heady to wrap my mind around. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I should be able to, you know…put it there, but that’s kinda weird isn’t it? This baby would be me and Donna and neither one of us have to do all that much work to get it. I mean, there will be some kind of prep work to be done and thinking about that process gives me the willies, but for the most part, some other woman is doing all the baby hard stuff. 

But this is what Donna wants and I’m lovesick enough to go right along with anything she wants. But I still think it’s kinda creepy.

First of all, these women are called ‘gestational carriers.’ I guess they’ve done away with the ‘mother’ title so as not to cause any kind of attachment or something. But the word ‘carrier’ makes me think of some kind of germ carrier monkey or something. The whole thing just feels so…clinical. Which is a good thing! That’s good because then we don’t have to worry about the surrogate mother/carrier/whoever getting attached to a baby that’s ours, but…I don’t know….I guess I feel a little weird about a woman carrying my child that’s not my wife.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m on board. I mean, it’s only going to be weird for a few months right?

Can you tell I’ve been over and over and over and over this in my head? There are women in this world that will do this for people. You give them $30,000 and they’ll have your baby for you. 

There is literally a job out there for everyone, I’m convinced.

Donna’s registered with the North American Surrogacy Center and the paperwork we’ve had to fill out…I’ve written legislation that was less voluminous than this. There’s retainer agreements, medical forms, parent profiles, criminal and medical release forms. Then starts the interview process and after that, the lawyers get involved.

What the hell? Just give me someone capable of this and let’s get going! It’s still mine and Donna’s…stuff.

Donna’s research and contact with this agency is meticulous. She’s more organized than the Joint Chiefs, I swear. She’s taken over the office at home and it’s like baby command post or something. I’m afraid to go in there.

As I enter Matt’s office now, I can feel the tension in the room immediately rise. He’s got a lot of new staff who are particularly wary of me, me being such a big Democrat and all, they all know Matt and I are friends and Donna’s my wife, but they don’t seem to trust me at all. And Matt’s Chief of Staff? Yeah, I’m not a fan. Donna doesn’t like him much either. Too bad for him, he’s the first thing out the door when I come on board in four years…if he makes it that long.

I see Donna come out of Matt’s office and she looks a little flustered. 

“Hey.” I say.

“Oh, hi.” She gives me a smile because she’s always happy to see me, but there’s something wrong. 

“What’s the matter?” 

“Oh, well…” she looks around at all the staff around her. She’s got a pretty big cubicle work space in the back, but the only actual office in here is Matt’s, so there’s really no privacy, except his office.

Good thing he’s my best friend because I tug her right back in there. Matt is hunched over his desk reading something and doesn’t look up, but he does acknowledge me.

“Hi, Josh.”

“Hey, Matt. So, what’s wrong?” I ask Donna pushing Matt’s door shut. Matt chuckles. I guess he might already know.

“Well, we’ve got two options for women.” She says.

“Okay.”

“One’s here, but right now she’s in her 6th week of a pregnancy and so she has to go through the rest of the pregnancy, recovery and she won’t be ready for us for a while.” Donna explains. This whole thing is nuts. She recovers from childbirth and then just goes ahead and gets pregnant again for someone else? Mind-boggling. Donna clearly is not wanting to wait any longer than she has to.

“Okay.” I say encouraging her to continue. 

“The other woman is ready to go, healthy, everything she has to be.” Donna says. Matt chuckles.

“But…” I prod.

“She’s in London.” Donna cringes.

“We have to fly her over!?” I explode and now Matt just laughs. 

“If we want a baby sooner, yes.” Donna says. If WE want a baby, hear that? Donna wants to do this.

“Where does she stay?” I ask, dreading the answer. 

“Where do think?” Matt finally speaks.

“DONNA!” I shout. “She’s a stranger!”

“Not really. She’s carrying our child.” She shoots back.

“Not only do I have to pay this woman, but I have to feed her and put her up for 10 months? I suppose we’re in charge of making sure she gets to her appointments?”

“No, I think the agency does that.” Donna says. “But we can take care of her! We can make sure she’s in a low stress--” I snort at this. Hello Donnatella! Re-election…President with M.S…there is nothing low-stress about me right now, but she ignores me. “—home. Josh…” she pleads.

I am not remotely in a place to agree to that right now, so I throw my backpack over my shoulder and turn to the door, right before I slam it behind me, I hear Donna and Matt.

“I’m thinking he might not be on board with the one in London.” She says.

“I think that’s a big 10-4.”

TBC


	14. When the Bough Breaks

“So you receive a copy of the President’s private medical report and you take it to the President’s Deputy Chief of Staff?” I’m asked under oath.

“Yes.” I answer. I’ve learned that nothing annoys these guys more than giving short ambiguous answers. 

“Why?”

“Why what?” I answer the question with a question and the lawyer blows out a puff of aggravated breath. See? Told you.

“Why did you bring it to the Deputy Chief of Staff?”

“I thought he’d be in a position to know whether it was real or forged. In either case, he’d know what to do with it next.” I reply. I’m totally bored. 

“It didn’t occur to you that it must have been stolen? That perhaps you should report it to the police?” 

“F.B.I Agent Mike Casper happened to be in my office at the time the papers arrived at my office. He took the envelope into his possession for evidence and began an investigation into the matter. I know you know this since his name is on the witness list too.” I reply in a very bored tone.

“One of your staff members, Donna Lyman, is married to the Deputy Chief of Staff. Is that correct?”

“It is. It’s also a matter of public record.” I tell him examining my finger nails. 

“Did Mrs. Lyman try to hide the document or convince you to hide or destroy the document?”

“Never. In fact, it was just the opposite. She brought it to my attention.” Do not go there, shyster. 

“Did your good friend, Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman try to convince you to hide or destroy the evidence?”

“No.” 

“He just said, what? “Thanks for bringing this over, buddy?”

“No.” 

Now he’s getting really steamed. He, he, he…

“What, if anything, did Deputy Chief of Staff Lyman say when you brought him the copy of the medical papers.” There you go! That wasn’t so hard, was it? Go back to law school, you putz.

“He asked me to wait in his office while he checked on whether the document was real or forged, so I did.” 

“Let’s go back to the document itself. What did it say?”

“It didn’t say anything, counselor, papers don’t speak.” You ignorant dumbass.

“Congressman Skinner. Is it your intention to be uncooperative in these hearings?”

“It is my intention to answer the questions put to me honestly and accurately for as long as humanly possible before I slip into a coma from boredom.” I reply. “I have nothing to do with this other than being the unlucky recipient of a copy of stolen property.”

“So noted. Let’s go back to your conversation with White House Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman…” I literally groan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You were the darling of the 5 o’clock news cycle.” Scott calls out to me when I get home. “I taped some of it for you.”

“You don’t have to do that. My staff takes care of that stuff.” I reply and kiss him absently on the forehead before I drop my briefcase and coat and slide into the chair across from him in the family room.

“Matthew’s said your acerbic wit was the only thing that salvaged the hearing from being an instrument of torture to watch.” Scott reports.

“Matthew’s has always had a soft spot for me.” I drawl and tip my head back against the cushion. “If they keep me there for another full day, I’ll slit my wrist.”

“I was thinking…” Scott leans forward in his chair. “I don’t have anything going on tomorrow that can’t be rescheduled. Why don’t I go with you tomorrow and --”

“No.” 

“Just to be supportive. We can have lunch and I can help distract you from thoughts of suicide.” Scott continues like I didn’t just say ‘no’ loud and clear.

“No.” I repeat and see his expression close.

“May I ask why not?” Scott ventures. “I know politics isn’t my thing, but I’ve seen the people giving testimony bring someone with them before.”

I take my time replying so that I don’t offend him, because truly, that’s the last thing I want to do. “I think, that in this particular case, it may become more of a distraction than anything else.”

“Because it will highlight the fact that you’re gay in the one arena you’d rather not have that label at all?” He asks pointedly.

I knew this could get ugly. “I’m openly gay, Scott. There isn’t a constituent or a member of Congress that doesn’t know I’m gay. You can’t honestly think that’s the issue here.”

“I guess I don’t know what the issue is here, which is why I’m asking. I’m trying to be supportive. I’m trying to be involved in what you do.”

“And although I appreciate that, you have to trust me when I tell you that this isn’t the way I need your support.”

“Because I’m a political idiot.” Scott surmises. “Maybe you and your pal Josh could explain it to me using small words.”

“Scott, don’t do this, okay. Not tonight. I’m fried.” 

“You’re fried because you’ve been holding Josh’s hand all week and then went right into testifying in front of a Congressional hearing because Josh’s boss lied about his health.” Scott replies. “Have I got that right?”

“Just about, yeah.” I acknowledge. “Scott…are you telling me…You’re not jealous of my relationship with Josh?”

“You’ve known each other forever. You’d do anything for him and I can tell he’d do the same for you.” Scott points out. 

“It’s always been like that with us.” I explain.

“I need to…” Scott stands up and comes over to sit on the coffee table in front of me. “I need to ask you something, but I’m afraid you’ll get pissed off about it.”

“I’ve been pissed off most of the day so…”

“Has there ever been…Have you ever wished…you and Josh…”

“God, no.” My face screws up in disgust. “He’s my brother!” 

Scott is just watching me. It’s unnerving. “I swear, Scott. Never in my wildest…Josh is my brother in every way except the biological one.”

“It’s just that you seem to prefer to spend time with him and when he calls you jump.” Scott tells me. 

“I’m lucky enough to have a friend that hardly blinked when I came out to him. Since we’ve known each other since we were kids, we know one another’s history and every single quirk and idiosyncrasy we each have. There’s nobody on this planet that I feel closer to.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.” Scott nods and leaves me sitting in the living room alone. Shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Three hundred million people in this country and you think we have to import one from England to be our surrogate?” I call from the bathroom.

“That number is a little inflated.” She calls back. “That’s the total population of the country. Once you eliminate the males and the woman over 35 and under 25, it’s a much smaller number.”

“But still, it seems strange that there isn’t a single female American citizen that could--”

“Is that what’s tripping you up here?” She asks when she opens the bathroom door to continue the conversation while I’m brushing my teeth. “Her citizenship? Maybe you can get her to become a naturalized citizen while she’s here.”

“Ha, ha.” I say with a mouthful of toothpaste and take a moment to spit. “We’re just supposed to bring this woman over here, sight unseen, and- God, Donna, are you sure about this?” I ask and see her face dissolve into confusion and then sadness.

“You’re not okay with this, are you?” She asks quietly and slumps against the doorjamb. Today was the first day I saw the sparkle back in her eyes since the miscarriage and I just snuffed it right out again. 

I take her by the hand and lead her to the couch where I sit down and pull her down onto my lap. Our noses are now inches apart. “I’m nervous about it and I have some reservations, but that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try it. It’s just we’ve gone from being pregnant, to losing the baby, to finding out we can’t have a baby, to flying a surrogate here from London all in one week’s time.” I explain. “Maybe we should take a little time before we make such a huge decision.”

“We already made the huge decision.” She counters. “We made the decision to have a baby a year ago!”

“We made a decision for the two of us to have a baby, yes. We made no decision about hiring some woman from England to move here and carry the baby for us.” Okay, that might have come out wrong because Donna’s eyes are filling with tears. “Wait. Don’t do that, Donna. I’m not saying ‘no’. Let’s just stop and take a breath okay? What’s the rush?”

“If I hadn’t had the miscarriage, we’d have had a baby five months from now.” She tells me and I close my eyes. “Even if we start right now, tomorrow, it will probably be another year before--”

“Donna…”

“We can set up an interview with her on the web. We’ll just talk to her. And if it doesn’t feel right to you, if you still have reservations after that, I’ll drop it.” She’s looking at me with this desperation in her eyes like her whole world depends on me agreeing to this. It can’t hurt to talk to the woman, right?

“Fine. Set it up. We’ll talk to her.” 

“Thank you!” She kisses me soundly. “I’ll set the alarm for 2 am.”

“Excuse me?”

“She goes to work at 9, so if we want to talk to her before she leaves, that would be 8 her times which is--”

“2 am our time.” I groan. “Can’t we talk to her after work instead?”

“But that would be in the middle of our work day and while I could get away for awhile, trying to get your schedule to cooperate--”

“Okay. Okay.” I hold my hands out in surrender. “But I honestly think it would be easier to stay up until 2 instead of going to sleep now and waking up at 2.” 

“I’ll help you fall back to sleep.” Donna promises. “I’m going to email Piper now so she’s expecting our call.”

“Piper?” 

“Don’t start Joshua.” She warns.

“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.” I reply quickly. I have a very bad feeling about this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time Josh gets out of bed and into the office, I’ve already set up the webcam so we can talk to Piper online.

“Hurry up.” I encourage him. He looks like the walking dead. That’s sure to make a good impression on Piper. “Can’t you comb your hair or something?” I ask and he looks puzzled for a second before he runs his fingers through it, which only makes it worse. 

“Here, let me.” I try to fix it, but admittedly it’s only marginally better. “I set a shirt out for you to put on.”

He looks down at his Mets shirt. “This one isn’t dirty.”

“No, but it’s wrinkled and it hardly makes a good impression.” I point out.

“Who’s interviewing who here? Give me a break, Donna, it’s 2 in the morning.” I decide to let it go rather than risk a mutiny and hit connect on the webcam request.

Within a few seconds a very perky red-headed young woman answers at her end.

“Good morning.” She smiles. She looks very friendly.

“Good morning. Thanks for agreeing to speak with us this morning. I’m Donna and this is my husband, Josh.”

“And I’m Piper, it’s very nice to meet you.” She has a darling British accent. At the pause in the conversation, I elbow Josh.

“Oh…Hi.” Josh says belatedly and Piper’s smile widens. 

“You seem a bit tired, Josh.” She notes.

“It’s two in the damn morn--”

“He worked late and just got to sleep about an hour before the alarm went off to call you so--”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Would you rather do this another time?”

“Yes.” Josh says at the same time I reply “No, this is fine.” Piper giggles now. I elbow Josh again.

“I’m gonna bruise.” He complains in a low voice.

“You sure are.” I reply through clenched teeth.

“This is fine, uh, Piper.” Josh decides on the spot. “Time seems to be of the essence.”

“I saw from the papers the agency sent that you’ve been a surrogate twice before, is that right?” I ask.

“Yes, though the first time was for my sister, so that wasn’t through the agency.” Piper explains.

“You carried a child for your sister?” Josh repeats. “Doesn’t that make for awkward family gatherings?” Again, my elbow meets his ribs.

“Not at all.” Piper replies. “My niece is just three, and to her I’m simply her Auntie. When she gets older, my sister plans to explain more about her birth, but Daisy won’t ever doubt who her mother is.”

I can see Josh winding up to ask about the child’s name in my periphery, so all I do is lift my elbow and he falls silent.

“And the other family you…worked with?” I ask.

“They have a healthy little girl who just turned eight months.” Piper reports. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Awwww…”Donna sighs and I feel the water rising to my neck. We are in deep already.

“Umm…I’m sorry, how does this usually work?” I ask. Someone has to deal with the business end of this arrangement and given the gooey expression on Donna’s face it ain’t gonna be her.

“Well, I’ve only had the one experience through the agency, as I’ve said, but that time, I met with the prospective parents, and after we’d talked together for a bit, we signed the contract and went ahead with the in vitro.”

“You met with them ONCE and decided to go ahead with everything?” I ask in disbelief. I’m pretty sure I interviewed our paper delivery kid more than that and this woman would be carrying our child?

“Yes. They had such a positive aura about them that I really didn’t need to meet with them again.” I’m about to respond to that when Donna levels me with a glare. These pieces are all starting to come together for me and the picture isn’t good. Piper? Daisy? Auras? This is some kind of British hippie chick.

“If we all agreed to go ahead with this, how soon would you be able to come to the states?” Donna asks. She’s all but bought the ticket, I swear.

“I’m planning on coming next month to start my studies abroad.” Piper tells us.

“What are you planning on studying?” Donna asks happily.

Women’s Transcendental Studies and the ever expanding Universe, says the voice inside my head.

“Social work.” Piper beams. Well, that’s not so bad, I guess. “I really want to make a difference in the lives of the people around me. I guess that sounds a little naïve.” She giggles and her dimples pop out. 

Donna looks over at me like this has all been ordained by God.

“Ummm…we shouldn’t keep you long. We know you have to get to work. Let me and my wife discuss this a bit and we can touch base again by email?” 

Piper readily agrees and mentions how nice it was to ‘meet’ us. Donna barely clicks the disconnect button before she turns on the pout.

“Isn’t she PERFECT?!” I am so screwed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mike, would you at least TRY to relax?” Ellie says in exasperation.

“Yeah…not so much.” My eyes dart around the ‘family room’ of the residence. Intellectually, I realize that the President and First Lady are at a fundraiser tonight and there is zero chance of them walking in on us unexpectedly, but just being in the residence of the White House is enough to set a guy on edge. And please! Like the agents stationed all around us can’t report back to the boss. 

“I thought we agreed that it would be simpler to stay in, here, tonight since it’s such a pain getting around with the detail and my parents are out for the evening anyway?”

“We did.” I agree readily. Between the advance notice the detail needs and the unwanted attention Ellie gets whenever we step outside the WH with the MS hearings going on…well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. “It’s just that I’m having a difficult time relaxing knowing I’m in the home my boss, who happens to be the President of the United States.”

“I thought your boss was the Director?” Ellie quips.

“Now you’re just talking about a degree or two of separation.” I shoot back. 

“He’s just a man, Mike. As has been pointed out to me everywhere I go, he obviously makes mistakes.” Ellie says sadly. She, of all the Bartlet daughters, struggles the most with the press. Yet it’s Ellie, because she doesn’t live within the protective bubble of the White House and has a medical background that has been thrust into all this more than Liz or Zoey.

“Are you getting hassled again?” Stupid question. Of course she is. “I mean, are they over the line, because I can show them where it’s drawn again.”

Her eyes widen and her mouth widens into a smile at my protective streak and I swear my heart melts a bit. “I’m okay. And I know I can always count on you if I need help.” She leans closer very slowly. She’s so shy, my Ellie. “I think we should change the subject and distract you from your surroundings.” 

“That…could be good. Distraction could work.” I agree smirking and kiss her. Her fingers tentatively run through my hair and I can’t for the life of me remember what we were talking about earlier. Her gentle touch is like magic on my skin. Wait! Skin? Yep, they’re on my skin. How did she get her fingers under my shirt like that? Who the hell cares? I startle when I feel the vibration from my cell. Damn.

I disentangle myself from her long enough to look down at the screen. Josh. I know why’s he’s calling. He wanted me to run a check on the British woman they’re thinking of hiring as their surrogate. She came up clean, except for a couple protests she participated in which isn’t going to lower her value with either of my friends. The problem is that Josh does NOT want Donna to know that I ran the check and I’m going to have trouble relaying this information without Ellie hearing and MAYBE inadvertently sharing that with Donna. I could ignore the summons, but he’ll just keep calling.

“Sorry, just one second, okay?” I back off and answer. “Hey, I got the information you needed. Everything is clear.” I try to answer as casually as possible. Ellie’s already looking at me funny.

“Are you sure, because she sounded a little flaky when we spoke to her and she’d be staying in our house for part of the time, not to mention carrying our child.” Josh confirms. 

“I swear to God yes.” I say quickly and move back towards Ellie.

“But what happens if she gets here and then--”

“For the love of God, Josh! The woman’s record is clean!” That might have come out a little loud and frustrated. “I’ll uh…talk to you later, okay? I’m right in the middle of something.”

“Everything okay?” Ellie asks, chuckling. 

“Yes, sure. Josh was just being, you know…Josh.” I shrug and move to resume our previous positions.

“Josh is having doubts about the surrogate?” She asks. Shit. I can’t point blank lie to her. 

“What makes you say that?” I stall.

“It’s not a big leap of logic. Who else would Josh have you running a background check on?” She asks. The woman is sharp…damn it. “Is he nervous about this woman in particular or surrogacy in general?”

“I really don’t know. At the moment, it seems to be focused on this woman, but if they picked someone else, I’m sure he’d want me to check her background too.”

“Hmmm….then it’s probably the idea of trusting someone else to carry their child.” Ellie ponders.

“You have to admit, it’s a little…strange.” Ellie’s eyebrows come together in a quizzical expression.

“You think?”

“Sure.” I shrug again. “Some stranger you’ve never met before agrees to carry your child around for 9 months in exchange for a boatload of money? It’s a serious leap of faith and Josh is not exactly big on trust to begin with.” I point out.

“Are you?”

“F.B.I. agents aren’t exactly known for their trust in their fellow man.” I explain and she nods but her head goes down which I’ve already learned is a defense mechanism for her. You learn to pick up people’s tells when you’re in the bureau. Ellie’s head goes down when she’s upset and doesn’t want you to see her eyes. “What?” I ask and tilt her head back up to meet my gaze.

“I was just thinking…” Ellie still avoids my eyes as much as possible. “With all the problems my dad is having…about the M.S…you know I wouldn’t lie about something like that, right? I mean, I wouldn’t keep something from you that was important.”

My lips twitch. Ellie Bartlet is many things but duplicitous she is NOT. It’s the scientist in her, I think. She reports the data and that’s that. 

“I know that.” I assure her and she nods again. 

“I never told anyone about Dad’s M.S.” She admits.

“I don’t think that was your information to tell.” I allow and see her relax a bit. She even gives me a slight smile.

“Do you think it might help if I spoke to Josh about surrogacy?” Ellie offered. God, she is so sweet.

“I think it would so NOT help if you spoke to Josh about surrogacy.” I counter immediately. “In fact, if you could pretend you never heard any part of my conversation with him just now I would be SO grateful.”

“How grateful?” Ellie asks with a sly look from under her eyelashes. Did she just-? Is she saying-? I think she is.

“Extremely grateful…but, I’d rather be…grateful at my place.” I say carefully and see exactly when she catches my meaning.

“Then I guess we should be on our way.” She says as she stands up.

“On our way…to my place?” I confirm.

“Yes, and I hope it’s not a pit or you’re going to be very embarrassed when my detail does their sweep.” She teases. Thank God I’m a relatively neat guy.

I hear her casually tell her agent out in the hallway that we’ll be going over to my place now and he just nods and talks into his wrist mic a second.

When did dating get so damn complicated? Oh yeah, when I started dating the President’s daughter.

TBC


	15. When the Bough Breaks

“Good evening, Matthew.” I smile as I open our apartment door.

“I have to talk to you.” Matt announces without preamble and pushes past me into the living room. 

“Won’t you come in?” I snark. “Josh is stuck at work.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I can talk to him about this.”

“What’s going on?” I ask losing my jovial tone.

“I’m not sure I can even talk to you about this. Maybe I should just talk to Mike. No, Mike’s a bad choice. I could talk to Chris, but he’s useless in stuff like this. So, yeah, it’s you.”

“Matt!” I laugh. “What’s going on?” He’s about to tell me when my cell phone rings and I see Mike’s number. “Hold on real quick, it’s Mike. Hello?”

“Donna, good. I need to ask you a kinda weird question and you need to just answer it and not put too much thought into it.” He’s speaking in hushed tones. 

“Umm…okay.” I say, scrunching up my face. 

“Is there anything of an embarrassing nature at my apartment?”

What the hell is with Josh’s friends tonight? Have they all gone nuts at the same time?

“What?”

“Is there anything you can think of off the top of your head that you saw at my place and thought was kind off odd?” 

“Are you kidding me?”

“No!” he whisper shouts.

“Why are you whispering? Are you on a stake out or something?”

“What the hell’s going on?” Matt demands. I shoo him off with my hand.

“No, but I don’t want Ellie to hear me.” 

“Mike, I really can’t – oh my God, you and Ellie are going to have sex!” I say as the light dawns.

“Seriously?” Matt perks up.

“DONNA!” Mike yelps.

“Oh,” I say more forlorn now. “you’re not going to have sex?” 

“No, I am! But I thought you’d tell me if there’s anything at my place that might be embarrassing to me in front of Ellie, like something left out.”

“I haven’t been to your place in months, Mike. I have no idea if there’s anything weird there.” 

“Give me the phone.” Matt says holding out his hand. 

“Matt wants to talk to you.” I say into the phone and Mike immediately protests.

“No, Don --”

His protest is cut off by Matt taking the phone from me. “What the hell is your problem? Well, it’s the worst decorating I’ve ever seen. I wouldn’t let her see your office. You’ve got those stupid neon signs you stole in college and it screams ‘this is the room where I keep my porn.’ How thorough of a job is the secret service going to do? They’re looking for gun racks and chains and other stuff. And besides, the problem isn’t your hideous decorating, it’s the fact that there’s no food there. If she spends the night, you’re going to have to feed her or the secret service won’t let her come over anymore. So stop and get food, for the love of God. Good luck!” 

He snaps the phone shut and tosses it on the couch, then looks at me. “What?”

“He needed help!”

“He just got it.” He shrugs. “I need help too and my problem is bigger than Mike’s.”

“What’s your problem?” I ask dropping down onto the couch. 

“Scott’s jealous of my relationship with Josh. He thinks deep down I want to sleep with him, but really, it’s because I don’t see us together anymore when I run for President.”

Is he kidding me?

“You and Scott have been together for over a year.”

“Yeah.”

“You LIVE together!”

“Yeah.”

“And you don’t see yourself with him in four years?”

“No.”

“Matthew, what are you doing?”

“Hoping I change my mind, but Donna, I’m not an idiot. I’ve got a big enough challenge ahead of me without all the photo ops of the gay couple.” He says earnestly. “I swear to God, I’m thinking of Scott here, too. I have no legal commitment that I can make to him. How can I expect him to go through that? And him accusing me of wanting some kind of romantic relationship with Josh just shows you how little he actually gets me.” 

“I can’t say I’ve ever thought that, Matt.”

“I can’t talk about this with Josh, he’ll get completely freaked out.” 

“Well, I disagree with you there, but I’ll respect your decision.” I say. Josh and Matt were friends long before Matt figured out his sexuality. If Josh didn’t get freaked out when Matt came out, I don’t think he’ll get freaked out now. “Matt, the American public isn’t stupid. If you say you’re gay, they’re going to wonder about boyfriends, AND you know they’re going to unearth Scott anyway. If you run for President, there’s no way Scott’s not going to be the center of attention at some point.”

“Shit.” He swears softly and runs a hand down his face. “You’re right. I don’t know what to do about the jealously thing.”

“There’s nothing you can do, Matt.” I smile at him. “That’s something Scott has to come to terms with on his own. Those are Scott’s fears manifesting themselves. Maybe he senses the restlessness in you about your relationship and he’s nervous. You and Josh have a very hard dynamic to pin down, then you add Chris and Mike to the mix and is it any wonder Scott’s insecure about whether or not you have room in your life for another man?”

“Why do I suddenly feel like I’m on Loveline?” He asks.

“YOU came to ME about this!” I say. “I don’t know what’s the matter with you and Mike tonight. All I was doing was sitting around --”

“Trying to figure out where Piper the Pip is going to sleep?” He smirks at me.

“I am unamused, Matthew.” I pout.

“Uh-huh.” He smiles completely unconvinced. Josh’s friends are definitely out of their minds tonight. I will find a way to make him pay for this lunacy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing here?”

“The feds are everywhere.”

“Of course the feds are everywhere, this whole thing sparked a Congressional investigation.” I say. “And you’re not supposed to be here. My wife is home.” 

“Well, if you’d return a phone call…”

I snort in disbelief. “You’ve been paid.” 

“I think I need more for my silence.”

“You were paid plenty. I’m not in charge of your gambling and booze.”

“I spent the advance on the equipment to crack the safe.” 

“Please. It was the only thing you had to do. I gave you everything else. I even told you who to bring it to to get it out of your hands quickly.”

“I could blow this case wide open with what I know.”

“But you’re not going to do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m going to be President of the United States one day and you’re not.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s the wee hours of the morning when I finally enter our apartment and am greeted by an odd sight. There are a couple of bottles of wine on the coffee table and Donna and Matt are sprawled out over the couches fast asleep. There seems to have been quite the drinking session.

I can’t blame either one of them. They both have their fair share of steam to blow off. Also on the table is the agency’s packet of information on Piper. Yeah, we’re going with her. Mike said she checks out clean. The agency will pay for her room and board in the U.S. Thank God she’s not staying with us. She seems harmless enough, but I don’t know, something rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it’s my disenchantment speaking now and my inability to trust new people. 

My subpoena came today. Not that I didn’t think it was coming eventually, but I was operating under the false hope that this whole thing would be over before it was my turn to testify. I spent the whole day with Babish and it became clear almost immediately that I’m the guy they’re looking to pin this on. Swell.

In addition to the M.S. crap, Leo brought in Bruno Gianelli for the campaign. I definitely could have done without him and his henchmen. Leo said the staff is too focused on the hearings to give the campaign the attention it demands AND still do our jobs. He’s right, I suppose, but I’m not sure any of us are actually interested in winning anymore.

I shouldn’t say that because I don’t want you to think I want Ritchie to win because that’s absolutely not true. I guess I just wish there was a democratic alternative…or maybe I don’t. President Bartlet is very capable of doing the job. 

Really, I think I’m just depressed because my subpoena came today and I’m going to get probed by Congress.

I lean down and gently shake Donna’s shoulder. “Donnatella.” She opens her eyes and smiles drowsily up at me.

“Joshua!” she smiles warmly, and just like that, I don’t have a care in the world. 

“Did you two go on a bender or something?”

“Matt had a problem we needed to hash out.”

“Does Scott know he’s here?” I reply. “Should I call him and tell him so he doesn’t worry?”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Donna chuckles.

“Why not? Oh, did they have a fight?” I look over to where my best friend is literally taking up the whole couch. He looks like he was spilled there.

“Scott thinks deep down Matt wants to sleep with you.” Donna blurts.

“Donna!” Matt’s awake now. 

But I just chuckle and blow it off. “I’m not his type. I’m too high maintenance.”

“You got that right.” Matt mutters, then pulls the blanket off the back of the couch and rolls over. 

I grab both of Donna’s hands and pull her to a standing position. She smiles at me again through alcohol induced, sleepy eyes. 

“My subpoena came today.” I say.

“Oh, that sucks.” She pouts. 

“Yeah,” I chuckle. “it certainly does.” 

I shut off the living room light for Matt and lead Donna back to our bedroom.

“Mike and Ellie are going to have sex tonight.” She announces.

“I didn’t need to know that.” 

“Piper’s favorite color is purple.” 

It looks like Mike’s the only one having sex tonight because she’s way too drunk it seems. At least she’s entertaining, and just like I was hoping, she’s charmed me out of my funk…for now.

TBC


	16. When the Bough Breaks

“It occurs to me that for the amount of time we spend retrieving significant others from one another’s homes, we might as well move in together, all four of us.” Scott notes when I open the door for him the next morning.

“Nah…Matt and I would kill each other within a week.” I mention in what I hope is an offhanded manner. 

“You think?” Scott asks.

“I know it. We tried to room together once in college, while we were on summer vacation? It lasted ALMOST three weeks; and that was only because I spent 10 of those days with my folks in Hyannis.” I shake my head ruefully. “Then you add the political realm and someone would surely be lying in a pool of blood before long. And it would most likely be me.”

“I don’t know. You two seem to connect pretty well on the political front.” Scott mentions.

“That’s because there’s always a time limit to our debates.” I add. “We disagree on nearly everything. He’s a REPUBLICAN for crying out loud!”

“You say that like there’s something wrong with it.” Matt moans from the couch. Both our heads swivel around to see Matt, still lying prone, eyes slightly open and bloodshot.

“You’re alive.” I quip.

“Your woman can drink.” Matt notes like this is news to me. “She drank, like, a whole bottle of that wine alone!”

“She’s Italian.” I shrug and send a conspiratorial look to Scott. “How about a hair of the dog that bit you? Scott and I were about to have a couple Bloody Mary’s.”

“You’re a fucking bastard, Lyman.” Matt says without opening his eyes further.

“Oh, you’re gonna want to talk nicer than that to me.” I pull a sheaf of papers from the counter. “I got my subpoena yesterday and they’re going to ask me ALL about you.”

“Sons of Bitches.” Matt adds. 

“Those Sons of Bitches are REPUBLICANS!” I point out.

“Some of them. There are plenty of Democrats who are pissed about this too, you know.”

“Yeah, and I’m one of them.” I shoot back. Then I hear Donna in the next room. I turn to Scott. “Now the fun it going to start.” He looks at me quizzically. Be patient, grasshopper, you will soon see what I’m talking about.

“Morning, guys. Oh, hi, Scott!” Donna greets him with a kiss to the cheek. “It’s good to see you. I was just going to make some breakfast. Want to stay and join us?”

“Ohhhh…”Matt moans at the thought of food. “Wait a second! Why aren’t you hung over and miserable?!” He demands.

“I don’t get hangovers from wine.” Donna announces. He gives her a dirty look. Now Scott gets it and chuckles. 

“I’d love some scrambled eggs, if they’re on the menu.” Scott says just to rub it in. Yeah, homosexual relationship aren’t any different than heterosexual relationships. He and Matt had a fight and now Scott is getting some payback.

“They are now.” Donna smiles perkily. God, she’s beautiful. “I could add some cheese and bacon?”

“God….” Matt moans from the couch again. “You’re doing this on purpose aren’t you?”

“I’ll make some pancakes, if you whip up some whip cream for them.” I offer adding fuel to the fire.

“Perfect.” Donna smiles and after a final look at his lover sprawled on the couch, Scott follows her into the kitchen with a simple “I’ll help”.

“You realize, you sanctimonious bastard, that if you succeed in your little plan to get me to hurl after a night of overindulgence, it will be who knows where…in your house…” Damn. He’s right.

“I’ll get you some coffee and some aspirin.” I decide. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What did I say?” God I’m tired of hearing this guy’s voice and I haven’t even been sworn in yet. Sure, Donna gets to bring Ainsley to her deposition and they get to meet in a closed door session in one of the House committee rooms. Me? I get Oliver Babish, an open hearing, and television cameras for God’s sake. I am NOT ready for prime time.

“Just answer the question, don’t embellish.” I repeat in a droning voice.

“At all. Don’t embellish at all.” Babish adds. “Now, if you start to wander, I’ll step on your foot. If you ignore the foot stepping, things will physically escalate to pinching and then, if necessary, smacking you on the head.”

“I am an attorney, too, you know.” I remind him.

“Yes, and we all know they make the worst clients.” Babish responds without missing a beat. “Take your cues from me. Don’t answer anything, and I mean anything, until I give you a nod to go ahead.” I nod since I can’t muster the energy to respond to these instructions yet again. 

“Will the witness please rise so the oath can be administered?” I look over for Oliver’s permission; he rolls his eyes and stands with me while I take the oath.

“Will the witness please state his full name?” The committee chairman requests. Again, I look over at Oliver, who again rolls his eyes, but nods. What? I can follow directions!

“Joshua Lyman.”

“And your position?”

“Sitting at the witness table in the committee room of the U.S. House of Representatives.” Ouch! Is Babish wearing heels? The media laughed!

“Where are you employed and in what capacity?” The Chairman asks.

“I’m employed at the White House as the Deputy Chief of Staff.” I tell him.

“And how long have you held that position?”

“Since President Bartlet was sworn in as President.”

“Were you involved in the campaign to elect then Governor Bartlet, President.”

“Yes.”

“In what capacity?”

“I was the Director of campaign strategy.” I tell him my former title.

“As Director of campaign strategy, did you have occasion to run what is commonly called opposition research on Governor Bartlet?”

I look at Babish and he nods. “Yes.”

“Have you run opposition research on other candidates, Mr. Lyman?”

“Yes.”

“In fact, it’s a standard practice on political campaigns, is it not?”

“It is.”

“So you’d be considered an ‘expert’ in this field?”

“I don’t know what constitutes expert status, Mr. Chairman.” I field that one on my own and although I know it’s the correct answer I still get a warning tap on my foot by Babish.

“Will you concede that you are expert enough at it that you have been hired by numerous campaigns, including national ones, to perform the duty of running opposition research and analyzing the results?” Babish nods.

“Yes, sir.” 

“Okay, so when you ran the opposition research, did you find anything troubling?”

“Hell, yes, you should have seen his record on immigration.” I quip. Ouch! At least the audience appreciates my sense of humor. I throw Babish a nasty look.

“Did you see anything troubling in his health records?” 

“We have no common definition of troubling, Mr. Chairman.” Babish replies.

“Was there anything that concerned you about his health records?”

“He was older than I’d have liked.” I answer truthfully. I’m going to pay for that one later with the President, but there’s no foot press. 

“Was there any indication in the records that you reviewed while preparing strategy for the campaign that led you to believe Governor Bartlet was having any kind of health problems?”

“No.”

“Nothing?”

“No, nothing.” I can keep that simple at least.

“Was there any indication that then Governor Bartlet had any significant health problems of ANY kind?”

“No.”

“Hmmm…” The Chairman paused. “And in the course of the campaign, you never had any indication that then Governor Bartlet suffered from any kind of chronic medical condition?”

“No.”

“I find it hard to believe that given the exhausting, rigorous campaign schedule and the close quarters in which candidates and their staffers operate in that you would have NO indication that Governor Bartlet was sick.”

“At the time--” I start and get foot stomped for my trouble.

“Was there a question there, Mr. Chairman? I must have missed it.”

“If you HAD known that Governor Bartlet had been diagnosed with M.S. would you have advised him to disclose that information?”

I don’t even bother opening my mouth this time.

“You can’t seriously think that we’ll be answering hypotheticals today.” Babish admonishes him.

“I’ll re-phrase.” The Chairman offers. “If news of Governor Bartlet’s M.S. had gotten out during the campaign, do you believe you still could have capture the nomination and then the Presidency?”

“That’s just another hypothetical with some different words.” Babish points out.

“Yes, we would.” I answer anyway. “He was and is the best person for the job.” Oliver turns an interesting color of red.

“When you’re working with a candidate, do you advise them to disclose all their personal information, Mr. Lyman?” 

“All the information that’s pertinent to their run.” I qualify.

“Would information about a debilitating illness fall into that category?”

“It would.”

“Then you were not behind the decision to lie to the American public about the Presidential candidate’s health?”

“Mr. Chairman--” Babish starts.

“I don’t know of anyone, save the President, who had any information about the M.S. at that time.” I answer. Might as well get this over with. Yeah, there’s my foot stomping and a nasty pinch on my arm under the cover of Babish’s legal pad.

“It seems highly unlikely that Jed Bartlet wouldn’t tell his campaign manager and his Director of campaign strategy that he had M.S. just in case something came out during the campaign.” Yeah, I see where this is going.

“You’ll have to ask Leo McGarry what he knew and when. As for me, I found out when Congressman Skinner brought the stolen pages of President Bartlet’s medical file to me and I was able to confirm their authenticity.” I maintain.

“What other medical conditions are being hidden, Mr. Lyman?” As casually as I can, I slide my glance over to wonder Republican Cliff Calley who gives me an almost imperceptible negative shake of his head.

“Mr. Chairman, there are over 1,000 people employed in the White House. Did you want Mr. Lyman to go through a roster, or did you want to narrow the scope of your question?”

“Is the President hiding any other medical information from the public?”

“Not that I know of.” I respond. The hell if I’m going to dig myself any deeper only to find out there’s some OTHER skeleton in the closet.

“But then you didn’t know about this one either, right?” He says all sarcastically.

“That is correct.”

“Then I guess your assurances don’t mean much to us here today.”

“Again, is there a question you’d like my client to answer?” Babish interrupts.

“Here’s a question: How the hell do you expect the American public to believe you did not know about the M.S.? That you were not, in fact, the key architect of the plan to hide this knowledge and propagate the lie that was told about the Governor’s health during the campaign?”

For once, I’ve got nothing. No smart aleck response. No simple honest answer. Nothing.

“Mr. Lyman?” He presses. Damn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I quietly take a seat a couple rows behind Josh’s table and take in the circus-like atmosphere. My husband has cameras flashing in his face and, if I’m not mistaken, a White House attorney stepping on his foot.

When I made my third mistake in as many minutes in my meeting with Matt, he suggested that perhaps since my attention was elsewhere, my body should join it in the hearing room. I simply stood up, grabbed my purse, and walked out.

I know Matt’s going to be asked to make a comment on Josh’s testimony today and I haven’t asked to see it. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. 

Josh gives a couple smackdowns, and the Chairman is clearly getting pissed. I try to send some mental mojo his way encouraging him to lay off and play it straight for a change. 

Nope; didn’t work. Josh is in an untenable position. He’s being forced to defend himself and the President about an action/decision he thinks was wrong. I tune in to hear the Chairman accuse Josh of horrible things and Josh doesn’t respond; at all.

“Mr. Lyman?” God, I wish I could touch his hand or make eye contact with him or something! My hand covers my mouth in sympathy for him as my eyes water.

“I did not know and I would NEVER have hidden the information if I had known.” He finally chokes out from between clenched teeth. 

He endures questions from four more House Members, before they call for a short recess and I’m able to get to him.

“Donna, what the hell--” He starts, but Babish quickly turns him away from the press and pushes both of us toward the door.

“I brought you coffee?” I offer him the cup that’s now cold.

“Thanks.” Josh chuckles. “Is it laced with something?”

“Joshua!” I send an alarmed look over at Oliver Babish, but he just shrugs like it would make his job easier so what the hell…

“Can we get out of here before you start yelling at me too? I’d rather not give the media any more ‘moments’ to replay on the 6 o’clock news.” Josh requests and we move quickly out of the hearing room to a private office next door that we’ve apparently appropriated for the day.

“Hey…” I call to him once his seated. There’s a microwave in here so I take the opportunity to heat up the coffee. “You’re doing great. I’m so proud of you.” 

“I’m sure that will weigh heavily on public opinion…and Federal indictments.” He drawls.

I bring the coffee over to him and send a nasty look back at Babish. “You just remember something, Joshua. You’ve done nothing wrong. You can’t control what those bastards are saying or how they’re framing all of this, but you know you’ve done nothing wrong. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.” Josh says simply, but the tender smile on his face tells me that my words had some effect on him at least…or maybe it was the coffee…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You…asked to see me, Mr. President?” I still haven’t gotten over my nervousness in reporting to the President on F.B.I. matters, so I’m practically quaking now that I’m sure this is personal. I’m SUPPOSED to be picking Ellie up following a birthday dinner for her aunt at the residence. The whole gang is supposed to be going over to Josh and Donna’s for drinks following Josh’s intense three day testimony, but when I got to the door, I was directed here instead.

“Yes, Agent Casper, please come in.” He beckons me inside and I can’t help think about the whole ‘spider and the fly’ poem. “Have a seat.” I hesitate a moment and decide with the way my knees are shaking that I’d be better off seated. “I’m sorry to waylay you on your way out but I just wanted a moment to say…” The President pauses and I look around his private study in awe. “I know that Ellie has been in some…uncomfortable situations lately. I tried to talk her into moving back in here for awhile, but…”

“She prefers not to.” I finish for him and instantly regret it. “I’m sure it’s nothing personal sir, she just prefers her privacy…as I’m…sure you know…” God, what a disaster! 

“Yes…” He drawls and he looks at me like he’s imagining my head stuffed and hanging above his fireplace. “In any case, I know there was some altercation a while back and I’m sure you’re under increased scrutiny simply because of your proximity to our family right now.”

“That’s my choice, sir, and your daughter’s company is well worth any nuisance the media kicks up.” I tell him honestly and he blinks at my quick response. Then he gives me a thoughtful nod.

“Is the muckraker filing charges?” He asks.

“Not that I’m aware of, sir. I think his kind is used to getting swung at.” The President chuckled.

“I wish I could take a swing myself.” He mutters. “But absent that, I appreciate you taking that extra step to protect Ellie. I… wanted to thank you for that personally.”

“No thanks necessary, Mr. President.” I assure him and he nods again.

“Was there anything else, sir?”

“Ummm…Ellie mentioned that your plans are to spend the evening at the Lyman residence?” He asks carefully.

“Yes, sir. The Secret Service always advances our trips and I never deviate from --”

“No, no, that wasn’t what I- I know that you would never risk Ellie’s safety that way, that wasn’t what I meant by- I was just wondering if you’d spoken to Josh today.” He finally blurts out. Oh…hey…maybe this ISN’T so much about me.

“Yes, sir, on my way over here.” I answer. “I wanted to make sure he was still up to company after the beating he took on- after his testimony.” I correct myself. 

“No, I think beating was an appropriate word choice.” He sighs. “By the time the questions got back to the Chairman this afternoon, it looked like one body blow after another.”

“He delivered a few punches himself, sir.” I defend my friend.

“Of course he did.” President Bartlet smirks. “It’s part of his DNA. I just haven’t had an opportunity to speak with him over the last few days though I know he and Leo have been in touch.”

“I’m sure you’re anxious to have your Deputy Chief of Staff back in the building.” I allow.

“And out of the line of fire.” The President agrees. “And Donna’s doing okay?”

“Uh…” Okay, here is where it gets tricky for me. I don’t know what Josh and Donna have shared with the people here about their plan and I don’t want to be the one to share their personal information with other people…even the President. “She’s been through a rough patch, Mr. President, they both have but I’ve never seen a more devoted couple, so I feel confident that they’ll get through all of these challenges together.”

“Well said, Agent Casper.” He nods once more. “But you meant you’ve never seen a more devoted couple aside from Abby and me, right?”

“I…uh…I really haven’t seen you and Ab- I mean Mrs- er, Dr. …sir?” I might have squeaked out that last part before he laughs.

“I’m just messing with you.” He tells me as he stands up to dismiss me. I jump to my feet, too. “We take occasional trips to the farm in Manchester, you know. We haven’t been very successful in getting Ellie to join us lately. Maybe we could join forces and get both of you up there for a long weekend in the near future?”

“I…I’d be honored, sir, as long as it was okay with Ellie.” I add.

“There, see? You’ve already learned a valuable lesson about checking with the lady before you make a commitment on her behalf.” President Bartlet reaches a hand out to shake mine. “And again, thanks for looking out for my daughter. Someday, if you’re lucky enough to have a daughter of your own, you’ll know how much that means.”

“Yes, Mr. President.” I reply but as I turn to leave I could swear I hear him mutter, “But the daughter better not make an appearance for a good long while.”

TBC


	17. When the Bough Breaks

I open the apartment door and with great relief find Mike and Ellie. I kiss Mike on the cheek and hug Ellie and cringe at the raised voices from the dining room. Mike furrows his brow as he immediately recognizes the debating voices of Josh and Chris.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“I have NO idea.” I confess. “But they’ve been at it for a while now. Josh seems ticked off that Chris has been so quiet about the President’s M.S.” Honestly, it wasn’t until Josh pointed it out that I noticed Chris hadn’t said a word about it, not in public or private. 

Mike blows out a long breath. “I guess I better get in there and help Matt keep them in their corners.”

“Yeah, good luck with that.” I say, as Mike leaves Ellie and I in the living room. 

“So, how’s everything?” I ask Ellie, leading her to sit on the couch. 

“Okay. How’s the surrogacy?” 

“Well, the woman we’re going with, Piper, she’s been set up by the agency with a place to stay. Do you think it would be weird if I went to see her?” Josh thinks I should leave her alone and let the agency be the go between, but…I don’t know…I just feel like I should pay more attention to her. We’re the only people here she knows. Well, technically, we haven’t met her yet in person, but she’s going to have our baby, so…

“Oh.” Ellie says. “Well, are you allowed?”

“I haven’t read anything that says I can’t contact her.” I say. “I just think I should be paying more attention to her welfare.”

“Well, I can see that.” She nods encouragingly. “What’s Josh say?”

“That I should leave well enough alone; she’s not here to be my friend; she’s here to carry our child.”

“Well, that sounds exactly like him.”

“Yeah.”

“When’s the procedure?”

“It got pushed to next week.” I sigh. “It was supposed to be today, but…”

“Yeah.” She says quietly. 

“He just ‘couldn’t have a baby today.’” I say, still bristling at his words. I know he was stressed, and maybe I was riding him a little hard about it. I’m just anxious to get this next phase going.

“Ouch.” Ellie cringes.

“It’s okay.” I wave her off. “I really should have known better. He’s really not in that kind of head space today.”

Wow. Insert awkward pause here.

“Donna, I’m sorry.” Ellie finally says.

“Oh no, Ellie.” I say quickly. “Sometimes I just forget you’re the President’s daughter…”

“Yeah.” She smiles wistfully. “It’s one of the reasons I like coming here so much.” I smile at her, touched to be considered that kind of friend. “But I still think someone should apologize to you. My father will eventually apologize to the staff I’m sure, but people like you and Matt, who’ve ended up being, like, collateral damage in all this will never get to hear that, and I just…well, I think someone from my family owes you an apology.”

“That’s really nice of you to say, Ellie.” I smile. “I can’t imagine what this is like for you.”

“Well, I’m used to it.” She sighs. “I don’t like it, but I’m used to it. I just can’t believe it hasn’t scared Mike off yet.”

“Mike’s a tough guy.”

“Well, yeah, but this is press.” She says. “There was a whole write up on him today with a picture of him leaving his apartment in the morning for work. I just don’t know how much more of the privacy invasion he’ll put up with before he decides I’m not worth the trouble, you know?”

“I think you’d be surprised.” I smile warmly. And I honestly think she would. I think a lot of people around here would be surprised at how much Mike is willing to put up with for Ellie. He’s dated a few women since I’ve known him. Nobody’s made him act the way Ellie does. But I think that’s something she needs to see for herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“…But who is this dashing, dark mystery man who has captured the shy First Daughter’s heart? He’s Special Agent Michael Casper with the FBI, the Justice Department’s liaison to the White House. Agent Casper and Dr. Eleanor Bartlet met through mutual friends and have been nearly inseparable since, despite the good doctor’s Baltimore residency…geez, this one even mentions wedding balls.” 

“All right, knock it off.” I say to Chris. God, just because Josh has been on his case he’s got to get on mine? It’s not like I asked for all these ridiculous articles to be written about me. He’d change his tune I’m sure if he heard the ribbing I’ve been taking from the guys at the bureau. I think ‘First Boyfriend’ might be my favorite, though ‘First Special Agent’ had a nice ring to it.

Ellie’s mortified over it all. Every time my picture appears with or without her in the paper she apologizes over and over. Yeah, I’m not used to it. And yes, it gets annoying when I’m trying to work and I’m afraid to go that aggressive route again and do anything that’s going to reflect poorly on her, so what’s acceptable and what’s not is often confusing and that gets frustrating, but my Ellie is worth it. And in her defense, she’s pretty good about avoiding places that press go. She’s found a friendly restaurant in Baltimore that’s small and the owners are pretty discreet, we go there a lot when I go up there. And when she’s down here…well, we explore a lot of rural Virginia. The problem is the secret service tends to draw attention.

“God, you get more press than I do.” Chris says tossing the newspaper on the table. 

“Where’s your girlfriend?” I shoot back. He’s not this much of a prick when Ginger’s around.

“I don’t have one.” He tosses back and silence falls over the table.

“What? Since when?” Josh asks.

“About a week now.”

“What happened?” Matt joins in now. “I thought you two were getting along pretty well.”

“Well, we were.” Chris shrugs. I can tell he’s hoping we’ll drop it there, but it’s not going to happen. We all liked Ginger and Josh has to work with her. Ginger seemed pretty well matched with him and we never heard word one from him about not being happy. He looks at us and sighs dramatically when he sees we’re expecting him to elaborate. “Ginger’s nice and I like her a lot, but…well…I don’t think she’s what I need right now.”

“Not what you need?” Josh repeats.

“Yeah.” He says. 

“A nice attractive girl with a good job who puts up with your shit isn’t what you need.” Josh continues. Josh is a little punchy after three days of being probed by Congress, so I think it’s about to come out on Chris, who incidentally is a member of Congress.

“I think I need to raise my profile more.” He shrugs.

“You’re going to power date.” Josh concludes disgusted, and then for reasons I don’t quite get, tosses a rather pointed and nasty look over at Matt. What the hell am I missing? 

“There’s nothing wrong with it as long as both people in the relationship know that’s all it is.” Chris actually defends himself.

“First of all, you probably broke Ginger’s heart.” Josh replies a little heatedly. “And THAT is going to put you on Toby and Sam’s shit lists. Secondly, you’re getting into a relationship with someone for the wrong reasons.” 

“It’s not like you’ve never done it.” Chris retorts.

“Who?” Josh asks in disbelief.

“Mandy.” 

“Mandy was not power dating.” Josh insists, though I tend to think she was, but I’m staying way the hell out of this argument. 

“As much as I like Ginger, I’m not going to get where I’m going dating a White House assistant. She’s sweet, but it’s not going to happen. I’m not as high profile as you, Josh.” 

Josh’s eyes widen and it’s abundantly clear that Chris just stepped over the line, which is next to impossible in this friendship. Donna was Matt’s assistant when she and Josh got together and Chris liked Donna right from the start, it was ME that had a hard time coming around there, so why he’d make that kind of dig now is over my head.

“All right, you know what? Let’s just drop this.” Matt says FINALLY jumping in. “Tensions are a little high.”

“It’s HIS tension…as usual.” Chris says, and then without another word, gets up and leaves. Matt and I look over at Josh who looks back non-pulsed.

“What?” He says like he’s innocent in all of this.

“Why did you even start with him tonight?” Matt demands. 

“He’s got a chip on his shoulder.” Josh shoots back. “If he wants to raise his profile, he should take a side on the big hot button issue right now. YOU gave a statement about my deposition, why doesn’t he? I don’t give a shit if he supports me or not, but if he wants to raise his profile, he needs to do it by getting in the fucking game! And that shit just now about dating someone in an assistant’s job --”

“Josh?” Donna blissfully enters and Josh drops his rant like a hot potato. No WAY would he tell her about what Chris said.

“Yeah, baby?” 

“What happened to Chris? Why’d he leave?” 

“He’s in a mood; I don’t really know what’s going on with him tonight.” Josh covers. Donna doesn’t really believe him, but you can see she’s not going to call him on it now, thank God. 

Josh and Chris are as close as any of us…well maybe not as close as he and Matt are, but ever since Chris pulled that amateur crap a few years ago on the crime bill, they’ve been a little strained. They got in an argument in the Mural Room where Josh claims to have gotten mugged by Chris and they never really hashed that out, they just sort of dropped it. And usually it’s all okay. They’d walk through fire for each other, I’m certain of that. But there are times like tonight where one or the other will cross the line. 

I pick up the newspaper Chris tossed down and look at the picture. I have my sunglasses on; I look like a bad ass. I look out into the living room where Ellie is talking to Donna. Wedding bells, huh? I’m surprised to discover that I’m not scared shitless by that thought. Maybe I should try and get her to go up to her parents’ farm. At the very least, I think it’s time I got to know her family a little better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Piper greets me with her sunny disposition as soon as she opens the door.

“Mrs. Lyman.”

“Oh, Donna, please.” I smile. “I hope you don’t mind me stopping by. I just wanted to see how you were settling in.”

“Oh, aren’t you a sweet thing?” she smiles and opens the door wider for me to enter the…room. I look around the room the agency has her set up and try not to show my disapproval. It’s a one-room efficiency with a small kitchenette. 

“This is…clean.” I say.

“It’s not very big, is it?” she laughs. “But it’s fine for just me…well, that is if the air worked a little better, it’s warm in here, no?” I nod a bit. It does seem a little stuffy. “And it also doesn’t seem to be in the nicest of neighborhoods to my observation, but then again, maybe it’s because it’s so far from the University and I’ll have to take a couple of trains at night in a strange country that has me nervous.”

Okay, well now that has me nervous, too. 

“And it had the most horrid smell when I got here, it’s almost gone.”

What IS that smell anyway?

“But, there are a few carriers here and they seem to like it just fine, though between you and me, pet, I think one of them might be a smoker which is a strict no-no, but I can smell someone here smoking through the vents.”

What!? Second hand smoke? Around the woman carrying MY child? I don’t think so!

“But,” she continues airily. “It’s the best that can be done for me now, and I’m grateful for the chance to come to the states, I am at that, yes.”

This is by far NOT the best that can be done for the woman carrying my baby. No sir, not now not ever.

“What would you think about staying with us until after the baby’s born?” I blurt. I can’t believe I just said that. Josh is going to kill me. Dead. 

But Piper’s eyes light up and it’s too late to back peddle. “Oh, what a WONDERFULLY kind offer, Donna!” she just gushes. “I wouldn’t want to be a bother, but if you’re sure…”

Sure? No, I’m pretty positive I’m a dead woman. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No.”

“Josh!”

“Not a chance in HELL, Donna.” I adamantly refuse. I can’t believe she did this!

“Josh, you should see where she’s staying. It’s a small little room, the AC barely works and she can smell someone smoking through the vents!” Donna looks horrified.

“She PLAYED you, Donna.” I counter. “She wanted you to invite her to stay here. How could you do that without discussing it with me?” 

“It’s closer to Georgetown here.” I continue to plead. “Do you want the woman carrying our child wandering around what might not be the best neighborhood in the dark? She’s in a strange country. She could easily get lost!”

“Donna….” I groan. 

“You wouldn’t want that for me, Joshua; How could you want any less for the woman carrying our baby?” she pouts. Oh, that was well played. 

“She could be a jewel thief!”

“She goes through a very in depth background check by the agency.” She counters. 

“Donna, I’m the Deputy Chief of Staff to the President of the United States.” I try my final argument. “I really can’t have just anyone staying here. I bring home sensitive material to work on, I get called at all hours of the night. I’m highly placed in the government…”

I’m cut off from further argument by Donna bursting into tears and running into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

I think that last argument may have worked TOO well.

TBC


	18. When the Bough Breaks

We have achieved détente, but it’s tenuous at best. I have agreed to allow Piper to move in with us and Donna has agreed to let me live. Yes, it was a tricky negotiation, but that’s what the President pays me the mediocre bucks for. That’s why tomorrow, on one of my rare days off, I’m helping Piper move her belongings out of the hell hole she’s currently in and into our second bedroom. 

On the other hand, my wife has been beaming all night, so it might not be such a bad deal after all. We’re stuck at this Congressional dinner and there’s music and dancing, and my wife looks exceptionally hot, if I don’t say so myself, but the only reason she’s beaming is because Piper had the first IVF procedure today and she’s moving in with us tomorrow.

It’s going to be awkward. And uncomfortable. And I may very well be bringing some person into our home who will then sell her story of an inside the DCOS’s home scoop of the political story of the decade to the Enquirer or some other rag. But Donna’s beaming so I’m doing it anyway. God, I need a drink.

Donna and Ellie, who have seemed to bonded over all this business, are deep into some medical discussion that I’m sure would make me queasy if I were paying closer attention. Mike looks nearly as bored as I feel. I HAVE to be here. Mike is only here because Ellie is here and wanted to show her support for her father but didn’t want to do it alone. 

I motion to the bar with a tilt of my head and a raising of my eyebrows. His eyes grow wide with relief and nods. He kisses Ellie on the cheek and tells her we’ll be right back. I don’t even bother, I just back away slowly and head directly to the bar. I’ve already had my allotment of drinks for the evening, so if Donna notices I’m going for a refill, I’ll hear about it.

“These things SUCK!” Mike complains. “How do you do this all the time?”

“It’s not all the time and usually I break up the dullness by messing with a few junior Congressmen.” I explain.

“Well, pick one then. I’m about to slip into a coma.” Mike reaches for the offered glass of champagne.

“I can’t.” I whine. “Leo said I have to be on my best behavior. With the convention in two weeks, he doesn’t want us to be making any enemies with any Members of Congress.”

“What a drag.”

“You’re telling me.” I take a deep swallow and nearly choke when I see Chris Wick come in with his ‘date’ for the evening; Amy Gardner. Damn, she looks good.

“What’s wrong?” Mike asks in alarm.

“Chris is here with Amy Gardner!” I exclaim. “What the hell is he thinking? She’s only using him to get publicity for her position with the woman’s group she works for.”

“And he’s only using her to up his profile.” Mike replies. “Isn’t that what he said he was going to do? And if they’re using each other, what’s the harm?”

“It’s going to blow up in his face.” I predict. “Amy was a black widow back in college, I can only imagine its worse now.”

“Huh.” Mike considers and looks over at them. “What a way to go.”

I smack him on the back. “Do NOT encourage this idiocy of his.”

“It doesn’t look like I need to do anything to encourage it.” Mike notes.

“What the hell is he doing with Gardner?” Matt demands to know when he joins us, nearly skidding to a halt between us. “Didn’t he get burned badly enough the first time around without going back for sloopy seconds?”

“Nice.” Mike offers and takes another drink.

“This is NOT the way to raise his profile.” Matt responds.

“You think I don’t know that?” I argue. “Where’s Scott?” Yes, I’m pushing, but damn it Matt loves Scott, I know he does. He would never have moved in with him if he didn’t. Matt may be the only guy more cautious about getting into relationships than I am.

“Couldn’t make it.” Matt shrugs.

“Couldn’t make it because he had other plans, or couldn’t make it because he didn’t know about it?” I press.

“Would you lay off, for God’s sake?” He demands. “Why don’t you concentrate your busybody efforts on Congressman Wick? Explain that sleeping his way to more press isn’t going to get the attention of anyone truly important.”

“It seems to have gotten the attention of SOMEONE important.” Mike points out and motions to where Chris and Amy have just been joined by the Vice President, who seems to be fawning all over both of them. This can’t be good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Good evening, Mr. Vice President.” I shake his hand and have to hide a smirk. Josh thinks he knows everything; has all the answers. He’s so convinced that power dating isn’t going to get me the results I’m looking for. I’ve been here with Amy for 30 minutes and I’ve already been singled out by the Vice President of the United States. Amy is the key to the women’s vote, and Hoynes knows it…and so do I. 

Personally, I think Josh just doesn’t want any more competition with the power and the press in D.C. Matt’s been practically holding court lately, and even our usually camera shy Bureau Buddy has hit the front pages. He’s just trying to throw his weight around with me and I think it’s about time he figured out that was over.

“Congressman Wick…and the incredible Ms. Amy Gardner.” The Vice President. “How long has this been going on and why haven’t I heard about it?”

“Oh, Chris and I go back to college, sir.” Amy purrs. “It’s more like old times than new gossip. Where’s Suzanne tonight?”

“Otherwise engaged.” Hoynes says shortly. “I’m wondering, Ms. Gardner, if I might ask you to excuse the Congressman and I for just a few minutes?”

Amy looks at me and I nod. “I’ll just wander on over and get a drink.”

“I’ll be right there.” I promise, intrigued to know that the Vice President wants to say to me that he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with Amy.

“Are you looking forward to the convention, Chris?” He asks.

“Yes, sir.” I nod. “Things are finally settling down a bit in the media even though the Congressional committees are still convening, and if we restrain ourselves from shooting one another in the foot, President Bartlet should have a smooth re-nominating convention.”

“It sure looks that way. Who’d ever have guessed that he would be able to recover from a body blow like this?” Hoynes looks over at the President with an odd expression on his face. 

“The White House has done everything right since they first disclosed the M.S.” I explain. “It’s been a hell of a strategy they’ve been using.”

“Josh Lyman has been a tour de force.” Hoynes mutters. “You went to college together, right?”

“Yes, sir. Josh, Matt Skinner and I all went to college together.”

“And…apparently Amy Gardner, too.”

“Yes, sir.” I smile.

“It’s a good move, hooking up with her. She’ll help you move in circles you’ve been shut out of up to now.” I blink at the frank analysis. “You have good political instincts. Why hasn’t Josh utilized you more?”

“I…I’m not sure. It may be that he doesn’t want to appear to be throwing bones in the direction of an old friend.”

“He doesn’t seem to mind throwing bones to Skinner and he’s a Republican.”

“No, that’s true, I guess.” I mutter and grab a drink from a passing waiter.

“Listen, I have a slot at the convention I need to fill. It’s not prime time and it’s not terribly sexy, but it would get you some air play and bring you to the attention of the people you need to get the attention of to take the next step in your political career.”

“Sir, I’m flattered, but--”

“We need to start thinking beyond this election and on to the next one. I’m going to want someone savvy at my side; someone who can legitimately run with the top issues and can supplement my geographic electoral votes. That would be someone from the East coast; maybe New England?”

“Sir?”

“I was impressed with how you were able to stay completely out of this MS business. Nobody is going to see you and think M.S. scandal. You’ve been working diligently behind the scenes on some important bills and I think it’s time you came out on front of some of it.”

“I’d be happy to help in any way I can.” I stammer.

“I want to bring my technology bill up for a vote and I’d like you to spearhead it. You can start with the slot at the convention; get the party wound up for it and then come back to D.C. and drive it home. What do you say?”

“Are you sure it’s me that you--”

“You’re surrounding yourself with the right people and making the right moves. We have some time to assemble our team and start getting ready for the next battle, but with you and Amy and Josh--”

“Josh?”

“The biggest mistake of my political life, Chris? Between you and me? Was not listening to Josh Lyman the first time around and letting him go to Nashua to work for Jed Bartlet. I won’t make that mistake twice. He’s the man who could put our team into the White House. We need him.”

“Yes, sir, he’s very good at his job.”

“And he’s got to be pretty disillusioned at how his ‘real thing’ turned into fool’s gold on him. He may be ready to come home to Texas.” Hoynes smiled. “I’m going to want to talk to him too pretty soon; maybe during the convention. Hey, that could be your first assignment…soften the ground for me a bit there.”

“I can certainly talk to him about the possibility of--”

“Subtly, though, right?”

“Absolutely.” My gaze tracks over to where my date has joined Josh and his cohorts. “No time like the present.”

“Good man. I’ll have my staff get you the details for the convention slot and the technology bill. Very nice speaking to you, Congressman. I sense great things are in store for us.” The Vice President shakes my hand again and moves on to another guest. I saunter over to join Amy.

“I leave you alone for a few minutes and you run to Josh?” I tease…mostly.

“We were just…catching up.” Amy notes. “What did the VP have to say in closed session?”

“He offered me a speaking slot at the convention.” I announce and watch all their jaws drop. God, is it that inconceivable that the VP sees potential in me and is willing to give me a leg up here?

“Doing what?” Josh demands. Yeah, he really doesn’t like me getting the spotlight.

“He wasn’t very specific. He’s going to contact my staff with the details.”

“He’s supposed to clear those things with us.” Josh shoots back.

“I think the Vice President of the United States feels pretty comfortable trusting me with a slot at the convention and I imagine he really DOESN’T need to clear it with you, Josh.” I shoot back. “I’m not a communist and the VP admires how I’ve handled this M.S. scandal business.”

“Yes, the way you’ve managed to stay completely silent, is amazing. What did you use, super glue? Maybe you should apply some more to your lips before the convention to avoid sticking your foot in your mouth.” He mutters.

“Josh…” Matt sighs.

“That’s all right, Matt. Mr. Deputy Chief of Staff needs to throw his weight around a bit. It often happens when someone used to being in control gets taken for a walk...by a Congressional committee for attempting to defraud the American people to win a Presidential election.” I smile humorlessly. “If I were him, I’d be lashing out too. Here he dumps Senator Hoynes for the Amazing Jed Bartlet only to discover, too late, that Saint Bartlet is the one who lied his way into the Oval office and the guy he dumped for Bartlet is the one who’s scandal free.” Yeah, that got him. Mike is literally hanging on to his arm. “If it makes you feel any better, the Vice President would take you back in a heartbeat.” 

“I wouldn’t--” He starts.

“How about a dance, Amy?” I lead her to the dance floor.

“I don’t know that I would turn my back on Josh Lyman right now if I were you.” She advises.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got friends in high places these days; with access to Secret Service protection.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re home early.” Scott notes from his desk in the living room. He sometimes works there when he doesn’t need his full concentration on what he’s doing and needs some background noise. Predictably the TV is on in there, but unusually, it’s turned to CNN rather than one of his usual stations. “According to the news channel, the party is still going strong.”

“I didn’t go to socialize, it was just a business appearance.” I explain.

“Josh and Donna were there?”

“Yes.” 

“Mike and Ellie?” 

“Yes.” Where the hell is he going with this?

“Chris and his latest?”

“What the hell Scott?”

“I’m saying it wasn’t just business.” 

“It was to me.” I pull off my tie.

He closes the top of his laptop and turns to face me. “What’s going on, Matt?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m not stupid. I’ve been dumped before and if this is what you’re leading up to, spare me the ramp up and let’s just cut to the chase.”

“Dumped? You’re paranoid, Scott.”

“I’m not.” He insists. “You’ve been systematically cutting me out of your life for the past few months. First, it was just work stuff, so I thought maybe with your increased face time on TV you were just trying to avoid THAT conversation with the press. But lately it’s been the social stuff too. So just level with me, Matt. Where are we, you and I?”

I do NOT want to have this conversation tonight, but I look into his eyes and I see the pain and not a little bit of fear. “This isn’t about dumping you.” I tell him. “Did you ever think this was about me protecting YOU from that conversation as much as trying to balance a complicated political career?”

“Honestly? No.” He admits. “Is that really what this is about?”

“Part of it.” I hedge. “I’m trying to make some important decisions about my political future and it’s leaving me on edge.”

“Maybe it would help to talk about it together?” He suggests.

“Maybe.” I agree. “But not tonight, okay?” I request and hold out a hand to him. He takes it in his and for the moment, I think everything’s okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m almost out of breath as I carry the box of…bricks, I guess, up my stairs. It’s been a trying day. It started with me making a solo visit to our Miss Piper with a legal contract for her to sign. A contract that I wrote up myself…and then had Sam look over for me. No, it’s not the contract about the baby. That was already signed and it was a standard thing the Agency does. This contract was different; our circumstances are different. Part of me was a little worried that if offended the ‘anointed one’ she would tell Donna and I’d spend the next 30 years sleeping on the fire escape. But it turns out that Piper has some common sense at least.

I showed her the contract, told her to read it over and that I would pay the bill for her to consult with the lawyer of her choice to go over it. Basically, I explained, it stated anything she saw, heard, or experienced while she stayed with us was considered privileged information. If she shared, or sold, any of it to anyone she would be held legally responsible and pay damages determined through binding arbitration. Then, she did the most astonishing thing. She took the papers from me and signed at the bottom before handing it back to me with a smile. I protested and insisted she talk to a lawyer first, but she just continued to smile and said it was important that we be able to trust each other. Then Donna arrived and she told me I’d better put it away before Donna caught sight of it and then she winked at me!

“Here’s the last box.” I announce and drop it unceremoniously on the floor next to the guest bed…which is now Piper’s bed, I guess. Piper, who had the first IVF procedure yesterday, is supposed to be lying still for the next 24-48 hours; as much as possible. That means that Donna ushered Piper in here, where she’s been ‘resting’ ever since, while I haul all her crap from her old place to our guest room. There wasn’t that much, really, but I just hate this feeling like…my life is being invaded by a stranger. 

“Thanks so terribly much, Joshua.” Piper beams almost as much as Donna does these days. “I truly appreciate it. I promise I’ll try to cause as little inconvenience as possible.”

“Yeah…okay.” I allow. Donna went to go pick up some groceries for us, so it’s just me and the lunatic Brit at the moment.

“No, I mean it. I realize this isn’t your idea and you’re only going along with it because Donna is…Well, I appreciate it. It’s sweet to see that you’ll go to such lengths to please your wife.”

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.” I want that completely clear.

“That’s obvious.” Piper chuckles. “I could tell the first time we spoke over the webcam. You were so vexed by the whole thing but then you’d look at her and your entire aura would just…change; just like that!” She snaps her fingers together. “So, I just want you to know I’ll be as invisible as possible.

“It’s…okay.” I shrug.

“Maybe it is, but…I have a bit of guilt I’m dealing with.” She admits. “I’ve done something I’m not very proud of now that it’s impacted you…”

Oh, God, what has she done? “What?”

“I may have…played on Donna’s sympathies a bit to entice her to invite me here.” She looks down at the floor like she thinks I might boot her now that she’s admitted the truth. I wish I could work up the energy to get pissed about it, but the truth is, the other place was a dump. If she were my daughter, there’s no way I’d want her staying in place like that all alone in a foreign country…Huh. I just thought about what I’d feel like if I were a parent. You think that means anything? Donna thinks everything’s a sign these days.

“Well…as long as we’re admitting things, I might as well admit that moving you in here is probably going to save me a ton of gas money since I won’t have to run back and forth with Donna checking on you all the time. She’ll be much more relaxed if she can see that you’re here, healthy and safe, each day.” I tell her and her head pops up to look me in the eyes. 

“Then maybe this is all for the best?”

“Maybe.” I allow, but I’m not entirely sure. “Do you know what Donna is getting us for dinner?”

Piper grimaces. “I…uh…was really hungry for pizza, so she said she’d pick some up on the way back from the store. I hope that’s okay.”

I can only imagine what the flower child eats on her pizza; daisies and all organic goat cheese or something I’m guessing.

“Whatever.” I shrug again. There’ll be something I can eat among the groceries Donna gets, I’m sure.”

“I just have to have some meat lover’s pizza.” Piper moans and I turn back to face her. Maybe I’ve underestimated this woman. She’s passionate about helping people; she moved across the ocean to help us make our family. She isn’t above using a little manipulation to get what she’s after, and she has to have Meat Lover’s pizza. We may have more in common than I originally thought.

“You don’t have to like…lay down in here, right? You could come lie down in the living room while we wait for Donna?”

“I could, yes, but I don’t want to intrude.”

“So, you’re what? Going to stay in the bedroom for the next several months?” I laugh and motion with my head to the family room. “Come on. I’ll introduce you to my favorite pastime.”

“Baseball?” She guesses as she gets up. Donna must have filled her in a bit.

“No, mocking Republicans.” I correct her with a smirk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I rush upstairs, aware that Josh must have finished moving Piper in over an hour ago. He’s not happy about this arrangement, I know, and I don’t want to give him any additional reason to complain. At least he’ll be pleasantly surprised by the Meat Lover’s pizza. 

I manage to get the key in the lock and open the door to a shocking scene. Josh and Piper, watching TV together, arguing about NATO.

“Sure, you can afford to think that way. Our country is taking care of most of your NATO debt.”

“I don’t have any NATO debt.” Piper mentions.

“You know what I mean, if you people had to- Oh, hey Donna, let me help you with that.” Josh offers and moves toward me. I hold out the grocery bags, but he instead chooses the large pizza box to ‘help’ me with. 

“No, no. I’ve got the bags.” I mutter. He must hear me because after he sets the pizza box down, he rolls his eyes and comes back to take the bags from me. Then he gives me a brief kiss. “Hi. I’ll get some plates and glasses for us.”

“I already got them out.” Josh informs me and my eyes go wide. 

“Really?”

“Really. Come in and sit down. I’ll get some pizza out for you and Piper. Maybe if we work together, we can explain why she’s so tragically misguided about American politics.”

“Sounds like fun.” I smile. I’m not sure what the hell has happened here while I was gone, but the results are more than I could have hoped for on our very first day.

TBC


	19. When the Bough Breaks

“Hey, come on in.” I say to Mike as I open the apartment door for him and then turn back and walk back towards the kitchen.

“So, I need your help on something.” He starts, but stops abruptly when he sees Piper on the couch. I can’t say I blame him. She’s laying on her back with her legs propped up on the back and looking at him upside down. Mike, God love him, turns his head so he can see her face as normal as possible. 

“Hi, Love!” Piper smiles at him and sticks out her upside down hand, which Mike shakes…upside down.

“Hi.”

“I’m Piper.”

“Piper?” 

“Yes. I’m Donna and Josh’s carrier.” 

Mike looks up at me and mouths ‘Of what?’ I roll my eyes and motion him into the kitchen impatiently as Piper sticks her headphones back on and starts waving her feet around.

“Why is she laying like that?”

“I don’t know.” I wave off. “Something about gravity working.”

“Piper?” he asks when he gets in by me.

“Hey, I didn’t name her.” I instantly defend.

“As in Peter Piper Picked a Pack of Pickle Peppers?”

“Say that around Donna, and she’ll give you a black eye.” I respond. “She thinks Piper’s, like, the new Messiah.” 

“And you?”

“I think she’s a lunatic Brit, not unlike Lord Marbury, who has moments of…vague coolness.”

“Well, she did check out.”

“She didn’t check out weird.” I counter.

“Well…no.” he agrees. He pulls open the fridge and grabs out a beer, pops it open and leans up against the counter. 

“What’s going on?” I ask sitting back down to my laptop at the kitchen table. 

“Well, the President mentioned in passing…” he starts and I let out a laugh. “What?”

“The President doesn’t mention anything in passing. What did he say?”

“That maybe I could get Ellie to go up to New Hampshire for a visit.” He cringes.

“Yeah, that’s ‘If you really want my approval, you’ll get my daughter’s difficult ass up to the farm to spend time with her family whether she likes it or not.” I translate.

“Shit.” He swears quietly. “I’m never going to get these signals right.”

“They’re a pain in the ass.” I nod in commiseration. “I still miss a few.”

“Eleanor loves her family.” He says holding his free hand out, palm out. “But she doesn’t like her parents right now.”

That gets my full attention. “What?”

“She’s pissed at her parents for all this M.S. and hearings and subpoena shit. She doesn’t want to spend time with them like that. She’s so non-confrontational, that she’s just dodging them all together. Last week, we were over at the White House and the President and First Lady were out and the only reason we went there was so she could tell them that we did come by and they wound up not being there. She won’t talk to them about any of this.”

“It’s just the way she is.” I say. 

“I know, but it’s eating her up.” He says, and he sounds pretty concerned. “She’s going to just let it all build up and just explode some day.”

“She’s got to work it out with her parents and she can’t do that by avoiding them.”

“Well, how am I supposed to get her up to the farm?” 

“I have no idea.”

“Yeah, thanks for the help.”

“Mike, the President is not above being completely immature to win. You don’t want the secret service to start reporting back your every move. They don’t give him a rundown of the girls’ every move and they’re pretty good about holding their confidences, as long as it doesn’t jeopardize their safety. But just to fuck with you to show his displeasure over not seeing his daughter, he’ll order them to do just that. The President will know everything that’s in your apartment, what you guys ordered for dinner, how long to the minute she was in your presence…”

“So, what you’re saying is…”

“Figure out a way to get her to New Hampshire, without using that as an excuse, or face all that crap. You haven’t seen dating the President’s daughter yet.” I shake my head at him and he sighs deeply. Now, I’m feeling a little regretful over that. I don’t want to scare him off of her either. They’re getting along really well, and if I’m not mistaken, my friend here is head over heels in love with Ellie Bartlet. But I also know Mike and Mike doesn’t like to be inconvenienced. “Why don’t you do this, why don’t you call Charlie and ask him when the next staff trip is up there. The President is pretty lax about that. He’ll let me bring Donna and then you guys can go up then.”

“That might not be so bad.” Mike considers this. 

“What about the Pied Piper in there?” He asks hooking a thumb over his shoulder and I smirk. “Think Donna will let her be alone?”

“No, but I’ll sucker Matt into being on Piper duty.” I say as my cell phone rings. I pick it up off the table and see Chris’s cell phone scroll across. Great. He and I…aren’t getting along so well right now. Still…he’s one of my best friends…even if I want to kick his dumb ass right now. “Hey, what’s up?” I answer sticking my phone to my ear.

“Heeeey, Special J.” It’s a female’s voice.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s Amy Gardner.” 

I roll my eyes. “Oh hey.”

“You don’t remember? I used to call you that in college.”

Yeah, I thought it was dumb then, too. But I don’t say that. “What’s up?” 

“I thought you might be interested in double dating. I thought we could catch up and I could meet your wife.” She says. I’m instantly suspicious.

“I don’t know, Amy. Things are pretty nuts right now.” I dodge.

“You could bring Mike, too. I grew up with the Bartlet daughters. I’d love to see Ellie, too.”

“I don’t know how feasible that is, Ellie lives in Baltimore. It’s not real easy for her to get down here.” I say and Mike suddenly starts making a frantic slicing, no way, gesture, but I shoo him off.

“Well, if she can’t come, she can’t come. I’m sure we’ll see her at Christmas.” Amy says. Yeah right. From the sounds of it from Mike that’s highly unlikely. “But you and your wife…what was her name?”

“Donna.”

“Donna, you should come out with us.”

Out?

“I don’t know how up we are for going out right now and doing the whole D.C. scene thing, Amy.” I reply. “We’ve got a lot going on.” And I’m not going to provide you with your photo op at the moment.

“Well… then I’m sure we could stay in. Come to Chris’s. Look, I’m obviously not going to take no for an answer.” Yeah, that much I got.

“I’ll talk to Donna and get back to Chris.” I say non-commitally. 

“Great! I’ll talk to you soon!” And she hangs up. I look up at Mike in sheer frustration. “What the hell is he DOING? I mean, is it me? Am I the only one confused here?”

“No. I can’t believe he broke up with Ginger. Amy’s hot, but she’s a barracuda. And if I remember right, they had a messy breakup and he spent years hating her.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I don’t know what the hell it is. He’s power dating for sure, but what she’s going to do for him…”

“Why would Hoynes offer him a spot at the convention?” I ask thoughtfully. “I mean, any slot. Chris is the epitome of the ‘don’t make waves’ Congressman. Why does he suddenly need to up his profile and why didn’t he ask me to help him?”

“He’s always got some crazy competitive thing going with you. I’ve never been able to figure it out.” Mike confesses. “He’ll walk through fire for you, Josh, but I don’t know, he’s always different with you than he is with me and Matt. I don’t know if he’s trying to get your approval or our attention or what.”

“Why does he have to do anything? Why can’t he just be my friend?”

“He IS your friend and he’s proven that over and over again.” Mike counters. 

“I don’t think this is about me.” I’m not convinced. “He’s the front runner in four years, for sure, but a guy like Chris would just fall in line. What’s the appeal?”

Mike shrugs. “I don’t know. Does he need a henchman?”

“Yeah, he does, but that’s not Chris. Chris doesn’t generally play hardball like that.”

Mike just shrugs again and continues to drink his beer. This has been eating at me ever since the other night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amy Gardner flings open the door and greets us with what I instantly think is a fake smile, but she throws her arms around my husband’s neck. “J! I mean, Josh. It’s great to see you again! I mean, outside of one of mind numbing political events. And, Donna, how nice to meet you.” She turns to me and smiles, then kisses me on the cheek. She seems to be quite the hostess. “Come on in. Dinner’s almost done.”

I suddenly feel like a first time guest in Chris’s house, which I’ve been to a hundred times. “You’re cooking?” Josh asks surprised.

“Yes, Josh. I can cook.” She acts like she’s all affronted, but I can tell she’s just messing with him. 

Josh greets Chris and I can immediately see that something’s wrong there. According to Matt, who didn’t get too detailed about it because at the time, I was more concerned with Josh and his PTSD issues, Chris and Josh had some confrontation at the White House where Josh claims to have gotten mugged by Chris. It was some kind of power struggle where Chris put Josh in a difficult position. Supposedly, it got a little heated, but they just dropped it, and there’s been friction flare ups ever since. 

I know that they’re as close as brothers. But every now and then, they definitely seem stilted. 

“So…how’s work?” Chris asks and Josh’s eyebrows shoot up. “I mean other than…” he waves his hand around.

“Uh…it’s pretty busy. We’ve got some campaign trips coming up before the convention, Toby and Sam are pulling their hair out over the convention speech. There’s a new crime bill in the works.” Josh rattles off that last bit a little apprehensively. 

“I have a very different opinion than I did before.” Chris says. 

“Yeah, I bet.” Josh says with a half laugh. 

“You should put the First Lady out in front more.” Amy volunteers.

“Oh sure, because what the country needs to be reminded about right now is that she violated the law in five different states.” Josh replies and Chris jumps back in. There’s a difference between asking about work and telling him what to do unsolicited.

“How’s Matt and Scott? He didn’t bring him the other night.” Chris asks. I realize in that moment that Chris doesn’t know what Matt and Josh’s plan is down the road. That’s not going to go over well.

“Oh, I think Matt’s just is nervous about putting him in the spotlight like that. It’s different than when you or I bring someone out like that.”

“What does that mean?” Chris is instantly on the defensive.

“Um…just that.” Josh says a little surprised. “You’re a man, Amy’s a woman, you’re probably being gossiped about, but you’re not a prominent gay Congressman in a very heterosexual Congress. Matt’s always kept all that on the extreme down low.”

“Eventually, someone is going to see them somewhere. It’s not like they don’t go out socially. And it’s going to be worse than if he introduces him on his own terms.” Chris says.

“I don’t know.” Josh sighs. “You asked me what I thought was going on, that’s what I think is going on.”

“Sorry. I’m just edgy.” 

“How’s Mike?” Amy asks pouring wine. “I haven’t seen him in years. I know he’s dating Ellie Bartlet. That must be tough.” 

“Well, she’s a doctor and he’s an FBI agent, so it’s hard with their schedules.” Josh evades. What’s with the third degree tonight? Why does it seem like Chris is out of the loop?

“Has he been up to the farm yet?” Amy asks. Yeah, we get how well you know the Bartlet family. I get the feeling Amy’s a name-dropper.

“We’re all going up next month.” Josh says and motions to me. Amy’s eyes instantly fall back to me, like she’s just remembered I’m here. 

“Oh, you’re going to love it up there. The house is so charming.” I think it actually hurt her to say that.

“I’ve been there.” I say quietly. Josh gives me a funny look. I suddenly feel very out of place here, like I’m meeting everyone for the first time, like I haven’t been completely ingrained in Josh and Chris’s lives for the past three years. I hope Chris knows what he’s doing, because I don’t know that I’m a big fan of this Ms. Gardner.

TBC


	20. When the Bough Breaks

I know this will come as a galloping shock to you, but I was right. I am not a big fan of Ms. Amy Gardner. Take now, for instance. Things have been kind of tense between Chris and Josh; especially when Josh advised the President to accept the Congressional censure and Chris wouldn’t even do a single interview in support of the President. However, keeping in mind how Chris went above and beyond to help Josh when he was going through the PTSD diagnosis hell, Josh has tried to put that aside and ‘get along’ especially while we’re at the convention.

“He doesn’t need your approval for his speech.” Amy scoffs and takes another swallow of her red wine…It’s her third glass, not that I’m counting.

“I didn’t say he needed my approval.” Josh says with more patience than I thought he was capable of. “I asked him if he WANTED me to look at it. I do have some level of expertise with these things.”

“So does he.” Amy counters.

“So do I.” Chris says almost simultaneously. What are they, the Bobsey political twins now?

“I wasn’t saying- Forget it. Forget I said anything. I was only trying to- You ready to go, Donna?” I nod. I was ready an hour ago. Wait, we’ve only been here 40 minutes. “Chris?”

“Yeah?” he looks over at Josh with what…suspicion?

“Good luck, today. Don’t worry about it. You’ll do great.” Josh tells him and shakes his hand. Amy the- Amy coos a goodbye which my husband studiously ignores, (this is going to get him some major convention sex later) and we head back to our suite.

At first I thought it was odd for Josh to have a suite when it was just the two of us. When I was at the Republican convention with Matt last week, he didn’t have a suite, and he’s a major face of the party right now; although I get the feeling that there are those that would like to change all that.

I obviously had no idea the kind of traffic and the number of impromptu meetings that would end up in our suite. It’s crazy! Apparently, being with a leader in the party and being with THE leader of the party is a very different experience. 

“You were very patient back there.” I tell him and take his hand in mine.

“I swear to God, I have no idea what’s going on in that head of his.” Josh growls, but he squeezes my hand in acknowledgment of what I said.

“Josh!” Toby shouts from behind us and we both turn around to face him. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.” Josh informs him. Toby can only be talking about the President. We’re at the convention, with 8 weeks until the election and the President keeps changing his mind about the speech. It’s driving Toby a little, well…

“He’s driving me insane!” Toby shouts.

“Why don’t we take this inside?” I suggest and take the key card from Josh’s pocket before opening the door to usher the guys inside. Josh, I’ve discovered, has difficulties with hotel card keys. Toby goes straight into a rant and he’s soon joined by Sam who is still lobbying for the President to include an apology in the speech. This sets off fireworks between the senior staff and the campaign staff, who have also made their way inside; it’s no wonder people keep wandering in as our door to the hallway is slightly ajar and this floor belongs to the campaign. 

MY head is starting to pound and I don’t even have to respond to the suggestions or the threats traveling around the room at light speed. I share a commiserating look with Jackie who’s been working her tail off trying to keep up with all the details Josh needs to be on top of for the convention. I adore Jackie; she takes very good care of my man, so while I’m here, I’ve kind of been helping her out whenever possible. 

I pick up the phone and order some food for everyone through room service. If they’re going to keep up this kind of pace for 5 days, they’re all going to need massive amounts of calories. Then I walk over and wordlessly offer Josh two aspirin and a bottle of water. He looks like he could use it. Then Jackie and I huddle to re-organize the convention files.

I’m glad now that I decided to come. We went back and forth about whether or not I should come to the convention with Josh. Getting the time off from Matt’s office really wasn’t a problem, although he made a big show of grumbling about aiding and abetting the enemy. I just hated leaving Piper alone. She doesn’t really know anyone here yet besides our small circle of friends and a few people at school. Josh’s concern may have been more about leaving a virtual stranger alone in our home, but I trust her implicitly…though my diary is here with me. Please! After what I’ve been through with that thing? Josh is lucky I don’t keep it taped to my body.

Soon, the food arrives and with it enters Leo McGarry. 

“Ah, Pastrami!” He nearly salivates. “This must be your idea. Josh isn’t this thoughtful.”

“Everybody needs to eat.” I explain. “Help yourself.” I hand him a plate and he doesn’t have to be asked twice. Once the others notice the food, there’s a line up to get some. I take a plate of carefully chosen items and bring it to my husband who is arguing animatedly with Doug over some choice words about foreign policy. I love to watch Josh argue. His eyes dance and they kind of just pull you in like tractor beams. He makes you want to care as much as he does about whatever he’s talking about. Then there are his hands. They wave all over the place emphasizing his most important words and phrases. It honestly makes my heart skip a beat watching and listening to him like this. I set the plate in front of him and tell him one word; eat. 

He looks up at me with a smirk and a ‘thanks’ before digging into the food I brought him. I’m guessing he made it halfway through the food before he discovered he’d inadvertently ingested several vegetables. My mission accomplished, I settle on the other side of the couch and doodle on the note pad that was sitting on the table. I write down some of the arguments and ideas I hear. As long as I’m here, I’m going to learn some things about running a national campaign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He should apologize. The country deserves an apology and he should understand that. You can’t tell me that a man as smart as Jed Bartlet isn’t aware that what he did was wrong. I can maybe understand why he would want to keep it a secret in the beginning. I can even make allowances for the man at first when he didn’t think he had a serious chance of winning the office. But certainly by Illinois he knew he was sewing it all up and we never had the conversation we were entitled to have with him. When Josh recruited me for this campaign, I left a law partnership, a six figure salary, and a fiancé and I have never regretted that decision…until I found out the secret he kept from us. 

I take a break from arguing with Bruno and Connie to glance over at Josh to see how his battle with Doug is going. He looks perfectly calm and relaxed. That’s really no surprise I guess when I see that Donna is tucked in neatly beside him taking some kind of notes. He’s usually more calm and relaxed when Donna is around. I know they were going back and forth on whether or not Donna would join us here this week. I, for one, am glad she’s here. Josh looks like he’s pleased about that too. Then again, why wouldn’t he be? What more does he need than his adoring wife at his side and a plateful of delicious food in front of him. Damn that food does look good.

I get up to find some food myself before resuming my argument with Bruno and Toby. He needs to apologize. If that’s my only contribution to this whole campaign, the President is going to apologize.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m tired. I can’t believe how tired I am. Alert the media; the President is exhausted…complications of his Multiple Sclerosis. I’m supposed to go out there tomorrow and accept my party’s nomination for President and all I really want to do is go out there and say, “Anybody else want a shot, because I am simply too damn tired”.

“Good evening, Mr. President.” Josh greets me.

“Evening Josh. How goes the battle?” 

“I think we’re ready for tomorrow, sir.” He tells me. He’s warmed up a bit since the day he stood raging at me in the Oval office over my secret diagnosis. I think what we went through when we found out about Donna’s miscarriage helped heal some of the wounds. Or maybe he just understands a little more about how helpless a man, who’s used to being in control, can feel in a medical situation he has no control over.

In any case, we’re not back to where we used to be, but we’re moving in the right direction. “There’s only one thing left: we need to lock the speech.” He continues. 

See? That’s the brilliance of Josh Lyman shining through. ‘We’ don’t lock the speech. I lock the speech. But he doesn’t put the entire onus on me, no, he keeps this a team sport. It’s a strategic move; one of a million moves he’s got that he’s used to get me elected and help me be effective as President. 

“We’re having trouble locking the speech, are we?” I toss it back.

“There’s…disagreement between the players.” He hedges. “It would help to have you weigh in directly, sir.”

“It doesn’t feel done.” I announce.

“Then we need to finish it. Let’s go into my suite and we’ll get everyone on the same page.”

“I guess we really can’t put it off any longer.” I sigh.

“No sir, we can’t.” He opens the door for me; the Secret Service has already secured the floor, and gets right on the phone to start paging the rest of the team to the suite. Donna pops her head out of another room.

“Oh, good evening, Mr. President.” She gives me a genuine smile.

“Hello, Donna.” I smile back. “It’s good to see you. I’m glad to see your husband won the battle to get you here this week.”

“Honestly? I have to let him win once in awhile or he gets cranky. But I’m glad I’m here too. It’s been an educational experience, sir.” She admits. “It’s been very busy around here and I usually only see that kind of bustling activity when you’re around.”

“Conventions are insane.” I tell her.

“Then what does it say about me that after attending one for work, I volunteered for another?” 

“It says that you love your husband a GREAT deal.” I maintain. The truth was, it drove Josh nuts that Donna was, as he put it, in the heart of the beast for five days. Toby kept needling him about seeing Donna on TV holding a Ritchie sign. It did NOT go over well.

“You look tired, sir. Can I get you something to eat? Or drink? We’re pretty well stocked here.”

“You know, I’d love something.” I admit with a laugh when I can’t remember the last meal I had. I know they offered me something on Air Force One, but I just didn’t feel like eating. “Whatever you’ve got, though. Don’t go to any special trouble.”

“Go to special trouble? For the President of the United States? Why ever would I do something like that?” She says sarcastically. I can see why she and Josh are so good together. She retreats to the kitchenette and starts putting something together for me to eat.

I take a seat on the sofa, while Josh argues with someone on the other end of the phone who he is referring to as ‘pinhead’. I hope it isn’t anyone whose vote we’ll need in the near future. Absently, I pick up a notepad lying on the end table. There are a few sketches of my staff that make me smile; Toby on a tear, Josh in full battle mode, and Sam looking morose. Okay, that one didn’t make me smile; but it is a good likeness of him. All around the page are phrases and words written in bold. Then one phrase catches my eye.

“When the fall is all that’s left, it matters quite a bit.” I read it quietly to myself. It’s a quote I know well, from one of my favorite films; Lion in Winter. It hits me directly in the chest. I pick up words and phrases from around that page and flipping through the book, see a few others that catch my eye. On the last page, there were a lot of quotes about apologies and subtext and messaging. At the bottom of the page I see this exchange written in two distinctly different hands:

“I don’t get it. How does saying I’m sorry hurt the President?”

“It sets a tone and makes an admission of wrongdoing.”

“But didn’t he already do that with the censure?”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“Just is.”

I take a minute to ponder what I’ve just read and Donna appears before me with a plate of food and a bottle of water. “Here you are, sir; some pasta salad and a turkey sandwich.”

“Thank you, Donna, I appreciate it.” I tell her sincerely. On a hunch I ask, “Does this belong to you?” I hold up the notebook and her face pales a bit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to invade your privacy. It was just sitting here and the King Henry quote from Lion in Winter caught my eye.”

“Toby quoted it yesterday. The notebook is just for some random thoughts and things I hear.” She tries to explain why she’s taking notes and it occurs to me, that working where she does, not everyone may assign an innocent motive to her note taking. It was only a few days ago that she was at the Republican convention with Congressman Skinner. I, however, have come to know Donna Lyman pretty well and I can see this for what it is; a way to process a ton of information and an attempt to understand her husband’s world a little better. Now I’m sure that exchange on the last page was between Josh and Donna, with no doubt as to who wrote what.

“I like the sketches.” I tell her in an effort to get her to relax and it seems to work.

“They’re just doodles.” She brushes away the compliment. “I draw them to pass the time during the endless meetings.”

“You’ve got some talent there, and seem to be able to capture my senior staff very well.” I tell her as I take a bite of the sandwich. 

“Thank you sir, but they’re really nothing.” She hurriedly takes the notepad away. 

“Is that some sort of journal or diary or something?” I ask and she drops the notepad as well as some of the plates she was gathering.

“No!” She answers quickly. “No diary.” She repeats while she picks up the items she dropped.

“Okay.” I try to get her to relax again now that I’ve said something that obviously upset her. “Have you ever seen Lion in Winter?”

“Oh, yes, it’s an incredible movie, Mr. President.” Donna gushes. “Katherine Hepburn was amazing. Did you know that when they made that film she-“

“I beg of you Donna, don’t start the movie trivia.” Josh interrupts her with a gentle hand on her back to take the sting out of his words. “Nobody here wants to explore the minutiae of-“ He takes in his audience and rephrases. “*I* don’t want to get into the minutiae of an old movie when we’ve yet to lock our speech for tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, Donnatella.” I pat her arm. “We’ll find time to trade that trivia once I get my ‘homework’ done.”

“Yes, sir.” She agrees and sticks out her tongue at Josh and makes him laugh. Yes, she’s very good for him.

“Toby, Sam, C.J., and Leo are on their way over.” Josh explains. “I’d like to keep it to them for now, sir.”

“I think that’s a good idea.” I agree and continue eating my food. I seem to have my appetite back. Soon the rest of my band of merry men has assembled and they’re all looking at me expectantly.

“The speech is great.” I tell them, but nobody seems relieved by my pronouncement. In fact, Sam looks distinctly upset by it. Donna, sensing something is brewing I guess, gets up as if to leave. “No, Donna, please stay.” I invite her and with a nod from Josh, she re-seats herself between us.

“You said you thought something was missing from the speech, sir?” Josh prompts me. Josh does not like spontaneity at events like this. He wants all the details nailed down and that includes the speech. I swear he and Toby get equally crazy whenever I go off text although for different reasons. Josh is afraid I’m going to say something off the cuff that has serious political ramifications. Toby’s just afraid I’m going to mess up his work of art.

“Yes, it still needs something.” I tell my rapt audience.

“And this ‘something’ would sound like what, Mr. President?” Toby asks.

“An apology.” I reply and Sam literally spits water out of his mouth and nose. Josh has to stand up and thump his back a few times until he can breathe on his own.

“We were under the impression sir, that you were against any form of apology.” Toby responds.

“I was.” I admit. “But something I read today changed my mind.” I make eye contact with Donna and her eyes go wide. “It occurs to me that how we fall is indeed very important. I violated a trust. I may have had some compelling reasons and justifications for what I did, but in the end, I violated a trust; your trust and the trust of the American people. It has cost each one of you in ways I don’t even like to think about. But it has cost me the respect in your eyes and there’s nothing worse in my book.”

I look around the room at these men and women and I feel compelled to make whatever effort necessary to make things right again between us; that seems to include making a public apology. I look over at Sam and see just a spark of something I used to see routinely in his eyes. I’ll start with him.

“Sam, I need your words.” I tell him and see him visibly start. 

“What would you like to say, Mr. President?” Yeah, Sam doesn’t quite trust me again yet.

“I’d like to say whatever it would take for you to forgive me and make you feel like you could trust me again.” I tell him honestly and watch his eyes narrow on my face. Finally he nods and moves over to another table to type on his laptop there. Toby watches for a minute then announces,

“I should probably go over and help him now. Make sure he uses punctuation.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s late, SO late, and I should go to bed and get some sleep, but I’m just wired. I called Matt and he assured me that Piper enjoyed dinner with Scott and him and that she’s weathering her solitary time at our place just fine. I wander back into the living room area of the suite and the boisterous voices make me smile. 

Something has happened in the last hour here; something almost spiritual. President Bartlet has asked for forgiveness from his senior staff and once he asked, they gave it to him. It’s like this door was locked and once President Bartlet unlocked it, all this great stuff spilled out. Now that the speech is locked, Ainsley has joined us as well. I look at her body, rounded with pregnancy and feel a pang of envy so strong it stings my eyes. 

I love my cousin and I am truly happy for her and Sam. It’s just that they’ve had this walk in the park; relatively speaking. Is it so wrong to just ask for this one thing to go right for Josh and me? I think that’s probably why I stopped taking the birth control pills. I keep thinking maybe a miracle will happen; it could. Just look at what happened here tonight.

Then my eyes drift over to the final copy of the acceptance speech for tomorrow that includes an all important paragraph:

I stand here humbled by the confidence you have shown me by awarding me this nomination even though I know I have stumbled and fallen in your eyes. I can not  
go back in time and undo the mistake I made in the past, but I can stand before you, ask your forgiveness, and promise you my mistake will not be repeated. If you will offer me this reconciliation and work with me, together we can finish the work that we’ve started and continue to perfect our glorious union.

It was an amazing work of collaboration and I have no doubt Jed Bartlet will be able to deliver it. I am SO happy I’m here and played some small role in this. I’m so happy.

TBC


	21. When the Bough Breaks

“Donna!” Chris says as I walk into his office. “What a surprise. How did I not see this coming?” 

“I’m not here as a spy.” I reply immediately. I’m not at all. In fact, I imagine my appearance here might be met with some…hostility…from Matt and Josh if they found out. 

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m seriously not.” I reply. “I just…I wanted to make sure everything was all right. You seem a little…off…lately and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.” He smiles sitting down on the couch and gesturing for me to join him, which I do. “Truth be told, Donna, there’s a lot going on right now for me politically and I have a lot of tough decisions to make. It has been…expressed…to me that I might want ramp up my image and you know me, I’ve always been more of a behind the scenes guy, so I’m not a hundred percent sure how to go about it.”

“Josh could help you with that. He’s brilliant with this stuff. He helped you get your seat.” I say earnestly.

“I know.” He agrees. “And he IS brilliant at this stuff, but Josh and I…Donna we’re not he and Matt. Josh and Matt can do ANYTHING together and they’re easily adaptable to different environments and moods, he and I aren’t like that and quite frankly, it’s time we admitted that and stopped trying to be something we’re not. Don’t get me wrong. He’s like a brother to me and there’s almost nothing I wouldn’t do for him, but he and I… yeah, sometimes politics gets in the way.”

“It shouldn’t.” I say quietly.

“I know, but it’s just our personalities. And I’ll tell you something else, since you’ve always been so easy and willing to let me bare my soul to you, Josh and I always come out on the other side, I promise.” He smiles at me and I know its genuine. He and Josh do seem to struggle a little bit more than the others do, but in the last few years, I’ve come to read these four really well. I’ve learned their tells and Chris isn’t this good of a liar, so I feel confident he’s being genuine right now.

“And Amy…” I go ahead and push.

“… is fun.” He expertly evades. 

“Christopher!” I press. 

“I was very fond of Ginger, Donna. I still am, really. But like I said, sometimes politics gets in the way.”

That’s a crock of hooey, but I’ll let it go for now since I’m more concerned with his friendship with my husband than his love life. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, I will say something for Amy Gardner,” I say as Ellie, Mike and I walk along a trail in the woods of her parents’ farm. “She’s right, it’s charming up here.”

“Listen, Donna,” Ellie replies. “I grew up with Amy. Our parents were friends. Just… watch your back.”

“Really?” my eyes widen.

“Or watch Josh and Chris’s backs.” Ellie continued. “I just know first hand how conniving she can be when she wants something bad enough.” 

“Yeah, she wasn’t all that pleasant in school.” Mike agrees.

“She seems really keen on seeing you.” I say to Ellie.

“Well, sure she is.” Ellie smiles. “Where I go, so do cameras. She doesn’t want to see ME, she wants a photo op with me.” 

“Well, then I’d keep towing the Baltimore line.” I advise Ellie and she smiles in return.

“Don’t worry.” Mike assures. “There was a time when I knew her pretty well. The last time she dated Chris, it was much of the same thing. She’s going to have to get her photo op from someone else. She and I NEVER got along real well because I frequently called her shit.”

“Michael.” Ellie says with a warning tone.

“Crap.” Mike corrects himself.

“You’re better spoken than that.”

“Not really.” Mike shrugs and I laugh. 

“Maybe next time we meet with her in private you could come and point out her tells for me.” I suggest offhand. 

“Well, we’ll probably have to sooner or later so she doesn’t start telling people I’m rude.” Ellie sighs.

“Ellie, there are worse things people can say about you.” Mike points out. 

“Well, they say whatever they want anyway.” She counters.

“Because you don’t speak out.”

“I spoke out about Millie and my dad had a cow.” 

I feel like I’m at a ping pong match.

“Because he thought you maneuvered him into a tight spot in front of the whole country.”

“You’re defending my father?”

“I’m telling you why he was so pissed.”

“Oh, I know why he was so pissed.”

“Maybe you could talk to CJ and respond to some of this stuff.”

“Or maybe I can just stay the hell away from it all.”

“I know!” I pipe in. “Maybe you both can save this argument for later when I’m not around to feel uncomfortable over it.”

“Sorry, Donna.” Ellie replies.

“No, I don’t think so.” Mike decides and Ellie and I look at him wide eyed. The polite thing to do there would have been to heed my request. I mean, that’s what, you know, manners dictate.

“I’m sorry?” I say surprised. 

“It’s exactly what I’m talking about, Eleanor.” Mikes says to her stopping us. “You’re uncomfortable arguing in front of people and defending yourself because you never do it. You never have to do it. Ellie, people are clamoring for you right now. You can talk about anything you want. They’re so hungry for Bartlet’s missing middle daughter that they’ll listen to anything you have to say on any subject. You should use it.”

“That’s not a bad idea, Ellie.” I jump in. “I could help you, too. This is the stuff I do for Matt. I could hook you up with someone we know well…”

“It would go to Danny.” Ellie says immediately. “We know Danny well and Danny’s print. I don’t have to be on camera.” 

“People want you on camera.” Mike says.

“They’ll have to start with seeing me in print if I’d give anything at all.”

“Ellie, you don’t have to do ANYTHING.” Mike says. “I’m perfectly happy keeping people at a distance. I’m just thinking that maybe if you do talk about stuff, it might make them back off for a little bit.”

“You mean shut my father up and get him off my back.”

“Well, it’ll probably do that, too.” Mike sighed. “Your sisters have both gone on the record about the cover up. You’re the only one that hasn’t. It looks like you don’t support him, when I know that’s not true.”

“It’s not. I do support my father, but I didn’t agree with that decision. I just respected it.”

“Maybe you should say that.” Mike hedges.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She laughs.

“I don’t know. I’m just a guy; I’m no political savant like Donna’s husband there. But as a regular old guy, I think I’d like to hear someone say that.”

Ellie slides a look over at Mike and coyly looks away. “Maybe.” 

Well, that’s better than no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Donna!” Abbey Bartlet greets me smiling widely. She even hugs me. 

“Hi, Dr. Bartlet.” I smile back. “Thank you so much for inviting me. It’s beautiful up here.”

“It’s very peaceful.” Abbey nods. “And thank you for coming. I’m not sure we would have gotten Ellie up here without you.”

“Oh, I think a certain Special Agent is responsible for that.” 

“I know he is, but Ellie enjoys spending time with you. You were definitely an added bonus.” 

“Well…”

“Not too mention, Josh pisses me off considerably less when you’re around.” She says frankly and I laugh. 

“Did you need to talk to me about something?” I was a little surprised when I was ‘summoned to the big house’ without Josh.

“Just to say that.” She smiles.

“Okay. Well, I enjoy spending time with Ellie. She’s very sweet and really smart and she’s very good for Mike.”

“Well, I think he’s very good for her. I think he’s helping her come out of her shell a little bit and she needs that. I did want to ask you a small favor.”

Yeah, see, I knew there was an ulterior motive.

“Anything, ma’am.”

“You don’t need to ma’am me.”

“Sure, Dr. Bartlet.”

“Nice sidestep.  
“Thank you.”

“Keep Amy Gardner the hell away from my daughter.” She says bluntly. I’m so stunned, my jaw drops.

“Ma’am?”

“Amy’s very smart. She’s a political asset to anyone for sure, but I don’t want her using my daughter to further any of her causes. She wants photo ops with Ellie and she wants Ellie to come down on her side of any number of issues. She tried this with Liz a few years ago, but Liz shut her down. However, Amy’s perfectly positioned to try to influence Ellie right now with her dating Congressman Wick.”

“Um…well, I don’t know Amy very well, but I’ll do my best to look out for Ellie.” I nod. “Are you sure you shouldn’t be having this conversation with Mike?”

“Jed screwed that up. He already gave him a ‘talk,’ and while it wasn’t completely misguided, I don’t want to seem too overbearing.” She waves off. Yeah, I think that horse has left the barn, but I keep my mouth shut. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I push open the screen door and step out onto the Bartlets’ front porch. The door snaps shut behind me and I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Long strategy sessions used to give me such a high, the rapid fire debate for hours, but this time around…well, it’s different. 

I look down to the end of the porch and my wife is hanging up her cell phone, sitting on the porch swing. 

I start to walk towards her and she looks up at me and wipes tears running down her cheeks? What the hell?

“Oh, Josh.” She cries quietly. 

“What’s this? What happened?” I ask sitting down and pulling her into my arms as she cries on my shoulder. 

“It didn’t take.”

“What didn’t take?”

“Piper’s first treatment.”

I sigh heavily and hold her a little tighter. 

“What if this doesn’t work either, Josh?” she only cries harder. “What if Piper can’t have children anymore?”

“The agency doctor said sometimes the first or second treatment doesn’t work, baby.” I say softly. “Your hopes are so high, you’ve got to be more patient.”

“It’s never going to happen, Josh! What if it doesn’t happen?”

“Then we’ll adopt.” I say earnestly. “Honey, it doesn’t matter how the baby gets here. We’ll get the baby that’s meant to be with us. Please stop getting so worked up over it.”

She nods and calms down marginally, but I know nothing I’ve said has patched her broken heart.

TBC


	22. When the Bough Breaks

The Lymans are very sweet together. Josh seems to be a political barracuda when it comes to work, but he’s a Teddy Bear when it comes to his ‘Donnatella’. I can sometimes watch the metamorphosis right in front of me; like today.

“Then tell the son of a bitch from me that if he hopes to be elected so much as dog catcher for his home county he better remember what the President did for him back home and toe the party line on this one!” He shouts into the phone.

“Joshua!” Donna admonishes him. I think she’s afraid that he’ll scare me off with that language. My father served in the British Navy. I’ve heard worse than that before breakfast.

“Just a minute, baby.” He tells her while he holds a hand over the phone. His face softens and he practically croons to her. It’s so sweet! “Fuck him, then, and his highways bill, too.” 

Well…not ALWAYS sweet. 

“I’m so sorry, Piper. Sometimes he forgets he has an audience, being at home here.” Donna apologizes. 

“No worries, love.” I assure her. “Sounds like he’s a right prick.” Donna’s eyes go round. “Sorry, too much?”

“No…that sounds like Robertson.” She nods laughing. “Ready for some breakfast?”

“Already done.” I tell her and watch her face screw up in puzzlement. “I’ve done breakfast already. There’s eggs warming in the oven and pancake batter ready whenever you are.”

“Piper. How many times have I told you that you don’t have to do that?” She reminds me.

“Seems like the least I can do is help with some meals now and again.” I smile. Donna’s become like a big sister to me in the last few weeks; helping me with schoolwork and taking me shopping. I know how disappointed she was when the IVF didn’t work. It near broke my heart. Donna’s going to be a smashing mum; soon, I hope.

“It’s very much appreciated. Hot breakfast is a treat around here.” She tells me.

“It’s because you two are forever running.” I share my humble opinion.

“It’s busy work running the national Government, Piper.” Josh tells me…again and brushes a hand over my hair like I’m ten. Given the circumstances, I find that…amusing.

“So you keep saying.” I roll my eyes at Donna and we share a smile. For someone who was so suspicious of me at first, Josh Lyman has certainly warmed up to me. “When am I going to get this White House tour you keep promising me?”

“He has to find a day when nobody there is trying to kill him, so that takes some time.” Donna quips.

“Nothing but loving support here.” He tosses back, but there’s a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his lips when he says it. You’d never know that same mouth was cursing some wayward Congressman moments ago.

“You’ll be more prepared for battle after breakfast.” I tell him.

“I don’t have time for--”

“I’ve got chocolate chips for the pancakes.” I mention.

“Well…if you’ve already gone to the trouble…” He trails off.

“You’re such a polite guy, Josh.” I tease and he laughs. “What?”

“I think you’re the only person on this planet who thinks so.” He claims and heads for the kitchen, but Donna grabs his arm to stop him.

“I’ll pour the pancakes while you shave or you’ll never get in on time.” She directs him.

“You don’t put enough chocolate chips in.” He whines.

“Hmmm…I’ll make you a nice smiley face out of them on your pancake.” See? This is why she’ll be a great mum. She always finds a way to get her way while making the child, or in this case the man, think they’re getting a good deal.

“Fine.” He growls and stomps off to the bathroom to shave. 

“I’ll pour the pancakes if you want to finish getting dressed.” I volunteer. “I don’t have class until 10, so I have plenty of time.”

“How did you do on the paper we worked on?” She asks.

“I should get it back today and--”

“DONNA!” Josh shouts from the bathroom. He does not sound at all pleased.

“We’re working on your pancakes, Joshua!” She calls back.

“I- Would you- Damn it, get in here!” Donna and I share a perplexed look. I’ve been very careful not to leave my things all over since I know that can sometimes irritate the males, and Donna never seems to do anything that irritates Josh except when she teases him. So what is all this about?

“Excuse me, please, the master calls.” Donna tries to tease but I can tell she’s alarmed too. What on earth could that be about? I’ll just go ahead with the pancakes and let them work things out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What on earth is wrong with you?” She starts before she even sees the whites of my eyes. “It’s bad enough that you’re swearing on the phone and walking around like you’re -- now you have to shout at me like I’m your servant?”

“You want to explain this?” I shove the packet in her face so close to her nose that it’s possible she can’t even see it. 

“What?” Donna takes it out of my hands and moves it further away to see what has me in such a tizzy. Oh. Yeah. Now she gets it. I found it shoved in the back of the bathroom drawer when I was looking for a new razor. At first I thought it was all used and she just forgot to throw it out. Then I noticed that it was only partly used and the last date a pill was taken was a few weeks ago.

“Well?!” I demand.

“Can you please keep your voice down?”

“Can you please explain why --”

“Seriously, Joshua, keep your voice down. Piper can hear everything you’re saying right now.” I take a calming breath because I am very upset. “We can ride into work together and talk about it then.” She suggests.

“No, we’re going to talk about it now.” I insist.

“I. Don’t. Think. So.” She clips out her words and retreats to the bedroom. A few seconds later I close and lock the door behind us.

“Tell me this isn’t what it looks like.” I beg.

“What does it look like?” She asks back. Maybe I misunderstood the situation.

“It looks like you haven’t been taking these birth control pills for the last three weeks.” I answer. Okay, I haven’t misunderstood. “Damn it, Donna!”

“Josh!” She shoots a look at the door again, wondering I’m sure, if she should go out and assure Piper that all is fine in here. She’s probably worried that Piper is going to think we aren’t the perfect couple and will change her mind about carrying a baby for us. 

“Piper is fine, Donna.” I pull her attention back to me. “It’s ME that’s having a meltdown right now.”

“It’s not a big deal, Josh.” 

“I beg to differ, Donna. Do you now remember the horrific experience we went through just a few short months ago? You want to RELIVE that?”

“Josh!”

“How could you do this? What the hell were you thinking?”

“What was I thinking?” She explodes too. “I was THINKING that we’re NEVER going to have a baby! I was THINKING that we were off birth control for over a year and only managed to get pregnant once, so the odds of it happening again were next to zero. I was THINKING that the doctors said it was highly improbable that I’d ever be able to carry a baby to term so maybe that meant there was a small chance I COULD.” She starts crying but I’m not letting that get to me right now.

“Donna…” I shake my head at her and purse my lips. I’m very angry and very disappointed in her. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Josh…wait!” She tries to intercept me from getting to the door.

“You took a huge risk, Donna, one that affected both of us, and you never said a WORD about it. Not a single word.” 

“I know.” She has the good sense to look chastened.

“Are you pregnant now?” I ask as the thought just occurs to me and her eyes go wide.

“No.” she says quietly.

“Are you sure?” I prod further.

“Positive.” The tears flow harder. I nod abruptly and move to leave again. “I’m sorry.” She says quietly. “Please don’t leave like this.”

“I have to go.” I counter. “We’ve got the damn debate tomorrow night and I’m trying to get a President who lied about having MS re-elected to the highest office in the land, so I really can’t add anything to my plate right now, Donna. We’ll have to deal with this later.”

I grab my backpack and leave without another word to either of the women I share a home with these days. I’m still so angry my hands are shaking. What the hell? What was she going to tell me if she got pregnant again? Surprise? Hey, Josh, I know the doctor gave us less than a 5% chance of ever being able to carry a baby to term, but the last miscarriage didn’t totally destroy us and our marriage so I thought why not give it another shot? I can’t think about this anymore right now. I have to focus. On the election.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a soft knock at the door and I try to wipe the last of the tears off my face so I can pull myself together. “Just a second, Piper.” I look in the mirror and moan. She’s going to take one look at me and book a flight back to England. Why would she carry a child for a couple as obviously unstable as Josh and me? She’s already made many comments about our very busy schedules. If she thinks Josh and I are fighting, that could be the ballgame.

“Donna, may I come in please?” She asks softly and I get up to open the door.

“Everything’s fine, Piper. We just had a little…you know, thing we needed to--” I give up when I see the sympathetic look in her eyes and start crying again. She holds her arms out to me and I collapse in them. “Oh, Piper, I really screwed up.”

“Shhhh, Donna, it’ll be okay.” She pats my back and sits me down on the bed. 

“No, he’s really pissed, and he has every right to be, I just--” I can’t continue. Piper hands me a Kleenex and tells me to start from the beginning; so I do. I pour my heart out to her and tell her what a textbook pregnancy my cousin is having and how wonderful it felt when I was pregnant. I tell her my fear that Josh and I will never be able to have biological children of our own and that it’s all my fault. My biggest fear was that he’d begin to resent me because we couldn’t have children and now it turns out it’s something I did to try to have children that’s alienated him from me.

“Here’s what I think.” Piper tells me. “Dealing with these very highly charged, emotional issues makes everyone’s blood pressure rise, and you and Josh? You have more everyday pressure than most so this is putting things through a roof. Plus you have a stranger living under your roof and a Presidential election round the corner. There’s a bit going on.”

“It’s too much, isn’t it?” I ask. “There’s just too much going on here and you’ve changed your mind.”

“No.” She says solemnly. “We made a bargain, you and I. Well, you and Josh and I.” She corrects herself. “The only way I’d ever break a contract like that is if I thought the baby wouldn’t be safe with the birth parents. That’s not even remotely the case here. Josh adores you and you clearly adore him and want a family together more than anything.”

“I’m not sure that’s what he wants anymore.” I admit.

“Then you’re dead wrong.” Piper contradicts me. “It seems to me from what you’ve shared that what you went through during and after the miscarriage took a toll on you both. I’m guessing that imagining going through something like that again scared the hell out of your husband BECAUSE he loves you so much and doesn’t ever want to see you hurting like that again.” She offers. “Give him a few hours to get his heart rate settled again and then you’ll be able to talk things through.” 

“I need to get to work.” I announce and stand up suddenly. “Piper? Thanks. I don’t know how you got to be so smart at 24, but I’m glad you are. And I’m glad we chose you.”

“I like to think we chose each other. And I’m glad I’m here too.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Arrogance? He wants to USE his arrogance? Rather than, I don’t know…hide it?” I ask incredulously. What a day I’ve had.

“It makes sense if you think about it.” Sam maintains. 

“No…it really doesn’t.” I argue.

“You okay?” Sam asks. “You seem a little tense. How’s your blood pressure?”

“What are you, my mother now?” I snap.

“Sam? The President wants to revamp his answer on gun control. It’s your turn to go in and tell him why he’s wrong.” Toby announced from the doorway.

“I’ll do it.” I volunteer. I’m in a fighting mood anyway.

“Sam will do it.” Toby insists and nods for Sam to go. Sam decides discretion is the better part of valor and leaves his two friends alone. “You can’t go into the Oval like this.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re itching for a fight and that’s not how you go into the Oval.” Toby repeats and sits down while I pace. “What’s going on? Donna okay?”

I scoff at Donna’s name and Toby’s eyebrows go up higher onto his forehead. “She’s fine… physically. Now mentally is a whole other thing.”

“Obviously, I mean look who she married.” Toby points out. When I don’t respond to his obvious baiting, he sighs. “What happened?”

“She’s not taking her birth control pills.” I tell him. “Can you believe it?”

“I know I’m going to end up regretting asking this, but why?”

“Why what?”

“Why isn’t she taking the pills?” He clarifies his question.

“Why do you think?” I reply. What is he stupid, all of a sudden? “She wants to get pregnant.”

“Didn’t the doctor rule that possibility out?” 

“No. The doctor said it would be difficult to get pregnant and nearly impossible to carry the baby to term.” I correct him. “However my wife, Donnatella ‘the glass is 99% full Lyman’ heard nearly impossible as possibly possible.” 

“Huh.” Toby responds.

“Well put.” I say sarcastically. “So all the while I’m moving our houseguest into our home, after flying her here from England by the way, so we can try to do the in vitro thing, she unilaterally decides she’s going to go off the birth control pills and try her luck, excuse me, OUR luck at the roulette wheel one more time.” I finish on a flourish of arms flying and voice rising. 

“Well…that’s very bad.” He agrees.

“Thank you for that, Captain Obvious.”

“Did you yell when you found out?”

“What do you think?”

“I think that you were scared shitless and that your fear may have translated into some gigantic sized anger eruption.” Toby guessed. 

“Yeah…” I lose steam and sit across from him. “Probably shouldn’t do that, huh?”

“Not if you want to stay married…in my opinion.” Toby added. “Then what the hell do I know? I’m divorced.”

“I was, you know.”

“You were what?”

“Scared shitless.” I admit. “I wasn’t even with her when it happened and it almost killed me. I can’t go through it again.”

Toby nods. “Then I imagine if you explain it to her just like that, in a calm, reasoned tone, she’ll understand and never do that to you again.”

I hate it when Toby makes sense.

“Can we please get back to debate prep now?” Toby whines. Why the hell not?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell did you do to Donna?” I ask when he picks up the phone.

“As a matter of fact, it was Donna who was--”

“I don’t give a damn whose fault it was. Donna’s been in tears all day and moping around my office. Her significant productivity has been greatly reduced today and that’s clearly your fault.”

“Matt--”

“Josh. Make up with your wife already. I don’t want depressed Donna coming back to work tomorrow.” I order him like I have that kind of authority.

“You called just to harass me about my private life?” He asks.

“No…actually, I’ve got another thing.” I admit.

“Great, cause I’ve only got the Presidential debate tomorrow. Nothing of any significance for me to prepare for.”

“Ironically, that’s kind of why I’m calling.” I tell him.

“I don’t know what that means and I’m too emotionally exhausted to figure it out. Just tell me whatever it is.”

“I’m being tagged to do spin post debate.” 

“You’re kidding.” He moans. I’m a little surprised myself. I may be a media darling, but I’m hardly the darling of the party anymore. Once they hear my post debate spin, they’ll be looking for tar and feathers. 

“I’m not.” I assure him. “I think I may have to make that announcement we discussed sooner rather than later.”

“How much sooner?” He asks.

“Within the next few weeks; before they start stripping away my committee assignments.”

“If you do this and caucus with us, we can negotiate some of that, you know.” He notes. Yes, Josh, I know.

“I’ll think about it.” I promise, and I will. I’m just not prepared with that answer yet. “In the meantime, I need to start putting together an announcement. Will you have any time once the debate is done to work with me on it? I know the timing sucks.”

“Why would you think that? A presidential election, a surrogate mother living with us. It’s really just same old, same old with me.”

“Great. Then this weekend some time?” I press, ignoring the sarcasm. 

“Fine.” He agrees. He’s a good friend.

“Thanks Josh, I appreciate it. Tell Donna I’ll treat for dinner on whatever night we get together.”

“I’m sure that’ll make all the difference in the world.” He drawls and hangs up after a quick goodbye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m sitting on the front stoop waiting for him when I spot him coming up the sidewalk. He looks tired; and depressed. The kind of look I used to see all the time when he was in the depths of battling the PTSD. Did I do that to him? It wasn’t purposeful, but still…

“Hi.” I call out so he’s not startled when he gets to the steps and sees me there. 

“Hi.” He slows down his approach. “How’d you know I was coming right now?”

“I was watching for you out my window.” I reply with a smile, but he doesn’t smile back. “I asked Jackie to call me when you were on your way. I thought maybe we could try having that discussion again now that we’re both a little less emotional.”

“I’m not sure I’m any less emotional, Donna.” He tells me. Great. 

“I’m not either, but could we give it a try anyway?” I request and he nods. He walks up the first couple steps and sits down with me about halfway up the stoop. “What I did was wrong and I’m sorry. I should have never made that kind of decision without talking to you about it. You’re right, even though it’s my body it does concern and affect us both.”

He rubs his hands over his face. “You have no idea what I felt riding on Air Force One, miles away from you and not able to help you. Even when I was able to get to you, I couldn’t change anything. I felt helpless and scared; scared that it wasn’t only the baby I might lose. I don’t ever want to feel that way again, Donna, not if it’s within our power to prevent it.”

“I understand.” I bite my lip. I DO understand. But I need him to understand what I’m feeling too. “I felt like such a failure; as a wife and as a mother. We can’t have a child together like most other couples and that breaks my heart. I kept thinking that MAYBE we could have our miracle. We’ve had so much to deal with, Josh, and I guess I thought we might finally catch a break. Just one child. It doesn’t seem like too much to ask.”

“It’s not.” He tells me. “It’s not and I’m sorry because I know a lot of the ‘stuff’ we’ve had to deal with has been because of me.”

“No, Josh, that isn’t what I meant.”

“I know, but it’s the truth.” He insists. “And the rest of the truth is we’ve gotten through all the other ‘stuff’ because we’ve worked through it together. We can’t stop now. If you’re having second thoughts about the IVF, let’s talk about it.”

“I’m not. I’m just afraid it won’t work.” I explain.

“Well…treatment number two happens this week. We should know something around Election Day, right?” I nod. “We should have two very important answers to two very stress inducing situations by November 4th. Let’s sit down after that, if we need to, and figure out where we go from there. Deal?”

“Deal.” I smile through my tears. “I’m really sorry I scared you like that, Josh.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you like that; especially in front of Piper. I’ll apologize to her too.”

“She isn’t worried about it. She seems to understand we’re going through some stress right now. Besides, she’s under the impression you’re besotted with me.” I tease.

“I guess she can read it in my aura?” He teases back.

“I guess.” I agree. “Ready to come up for some late dinner? Piper made it for us.” I laugh as Josh moans. Piper’s breakfast making skills are fabulous. The other meals? Not so much. “Be nice. She’s trying to help.”

“Can I convince her to stop helping?”

“Think of it as your penance for yelling in front of her this morning.”

“I’m Jewish. We don’t do penance.” He tells me.

“You do now.” I argue. “In fact, we both do today. Be brave. Maybe it’s better this time.” I tell him. I doubt it is. It was awful yesterday, but as far as I’m concerned, hope springs eternal.

TBC


	23. When the Bough Breaks

I walk up to Josh’s door and there’s no mistaking the secret service agent standing outside the door. 

Interesting.

“Sir.” The agent says to me.

“Good evening.” I nod back. 

I knock on the door and Donna answers smiling brightly. I don’t know her too well, but she greets me warmly. How Josh landed a girl as warm and seemingly genuine as Donna, I often wonder about.

“Danny, come on in.” She stands back and then thanks the agent like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

A young woman sitting on the couch with a magazine in her hand stands up and I’m surprised when she speaks to me in a British accent. “I’ll just retire for the evening.” She says and then disappears from the room.

Josh walks in from the kitchen and I know that face. I’ve seen it before. “Why do I get the feeling I’m being ambushed?” I ask him.

“Remember how cool you were a few months ago about the other stuff…” He trails off.

“Oh, shit.” I groan. “Now what did you do?”

“Oh, it’s not us.” He assures.

My jaw drops when Ellie Bartlet slowly emerges from the kitchen with Mike Casper right behind her. Well, that certainly explains the secret service.

“Ellie!” I say surprised.

“Hi, Danny.” She says with a shuddered breath. I look over at Josh with raised eyebrows. He looks like he wants no part of this but gestures towards the kitchen and its inhabitants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I smile lightly as I’m awakened by my wife’s soft lips moving lazily around my stomach, her fingertips gently tickling my ribs. She kisses her way up my chest, up my neck and I open my eyes. 

“Morning.” I grin. 

“Morning.” She murmurs to my neck, but she’s not to be swayed from her task at hand. She sucks my earlobe into her mouth and my toes curl. As she breaks away, I take advantage of the fact that her long graceful neck is right in front of my lips and wrap my arms around her.

“Donna?” I say against her throat.

“Mmm?”

“You took your pill, right?”

“Joshua…” she groans.

“Right?” 

“Yes.”

“Good.” I say as I roll us over and slide beneath me. She raises her arms over her head and I relieve her of her tank top and then immediately take advantage of that situation, too. She moans as my lips trail slowly around her breasts, hissing as I take a peak lightly between my teeth. 

She’s squirming and rocking beneath me. I love how her body comes alive under my touch. No woman that came before her, not that there were that many, ever reacted to my touch like she does. 

I grab her lips with mine when she moans deeply again. “Careful not to be too loud, Donnatella, we’ve got a tenant next door now.” 

“I think she’s caught on that we have sex.” 

“Still, I don’t think she needs the reinforcement.” I slide her pants down her legs and she’s naked beneath me. She moves like lightening to slide the rest of my clothes off.

“Prude.”

“Prude!” I squeak. “I’m no prude!” I slide two fingers between her legs and she hisses delightfully. “Yeah, I’ll show you.” I smile as she moves rhythmically against my fingers.

It’s only a minute or two before she throws her head back and I stop all movement, content to just watch her ride the wave. I’ve never met anyone as passionate as she is either. She throws her full self into everything she does. 

I think that’s why I was so attracted to her when we met. She has a huge heart and it’s impossible not to get sucked up by it. 

Her eyes lock with mine as I glide into her. Her fingers curl into my hair and gently scratch at my scalp. I lose my concentration as I give in to the stimulation surrounding me. It’s Donna who begins to move beneath me. I fall right into place with her and we’re completely in sync. 

I drop my head to her shoulder as she calls out my name and I spill into her.

That’s the exact moment my pager goes off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Boy, do YOU have some explaining to do!” the President greets me, none too happy, in the Oval Office. It’s just before dawn. He’s in a sweatshirt and jeans, and since it’s a Sunday morning, I’m likewise dressed casually.

“Sir, I don’t care what anyone says, with all due respect, you have an incredibly headstrong daughter.” I dive right in. “It was all I could do to even get her to agree to let me be in the room!”

“Josh, one day, I swear to God, I hope you have a daughter. I curse you right now.”

“I’ll take it, sir.” I say softly.

He pauses a moment. “Yeah, I know you will.” He moves to sit down on the couch and gestures to the opposite one. “She’s on the record about all sorts of stuff.” He sighs. 

“Yeah.” I nod. 

“Things I would have killed to have her say before.”

“She’s saying them now.” I sigh. I drop my head back against the cushion and run a hand down my face. 

“Stem cell research, marijuana for medicinal purposes, partial birth abortion…” the President rattles off. 

“Yes, sir.” I sigh.

“What she doesn’t mention once is the M.S.”

“No, sir.” 

“Did Danny even ask her about it?”

“No, sir.” I confess. “I think Danny was just so surprised she wanted to speak at all and so grateful the she chose him that he didn’t want to scare her off.”

“She’s changed a bit since she started dating Mike.” The President says and I raise my head at the informal way he referred to him. The President usually addresses those that work for him by their first names, but once Mike started dating Ellie, the President started calling him Agent Casper or ‘He Who Thinks He’s So Worthy of my Daughter.’

“Sir, I don’t know what you really think about it. I can only imagine that if I ever have a daughter, I’ll go nuts when she starts dating, but I firmly believe that he loves her. I mean, I really think he loves her, sir.”

The President pauses for a moment. “Yeah, and just how much do you think he really loves her?” 

“Well, I haven’t talked about it with him, but I get a pretty strong feeling that she’s the one.”

“Oh shit.” The President groans.

“Sir, I don’t understand. What exactly do you have against Mike?”

“Other than the fact that he’s male? Nothing. But I was really hoping one of my daughters would heed my begging and join a convent.” He says dramatically. I chuckle and the President leans over and picks up the Washington Post on the table in between us. “Shoulda locked the three of them in a dungeon.” He mutters. “Anyway, believe it or not, that’s not the reason I dragged you out of bed this morning.”

“It’s not, sir?”

“No, torturing you was just a perk.” The President says putting his glasses on and skimming through Danny’s article. “There are two places in this article that Ellie mentions Congressman Skinner and things she and him agree on.”

“Oh…” I practically choke out. When Ellie was talking to Danny, I forgot for a few minutes that my boss was brilliant and able to look beneath the surface of stuff. Not all that comforting about now.

“Josh…” the President says taking off his glasses and fixing me with his glare. “Is Congressman Skinner running for President?”

I sputter a bit as I try to think of some sort of plausible excuse. 

“Josh…”

“Yes, sir.” I finally relent.

“That’s why he’s been out front on all this stuff?”

“Yes, sir, but he’s not running as a republican.”

“He’s defecting from the republican party?” The President is astounded. 

“Yes, right before the election.”

“He’s becoming a democrat?”

“Independent.”

“And when do I lose you?”

“I’m sorry, sir?” I choke. So, this is what a canary feels like staring down the hungry throat of the cat.

“He’s running for President and I know you two are very close. I know you’d never let him do it on his own, you’re his Leo.”

I stare at the President for a long moment as his words sink in. Not only is Matt going to run, but he’s going win. We have precedent.

“Yes, sir.”

“You’ll see us through the mid-terms?” We’ve come to an agreement it seems.

“Of course, sir.”

“You get to tell Toby.”

“No way, sir. Toby finds out when Matt makes the announcement on MSNBC.”

The President chuckles and stands up, so I rise too. He shakes my hand and I have a strange feeling of closure. He looks around the office and sighs. “I think this office is ready for him.”

“So do I, sir.” 

“First we have to get past the election in two weeks.”

“We’ll be fine, sir. I’m sure of it.” I say confidently.

“Think so?”

“It’s going to be tight, but we’ll pull through in the end.” I nod.

“How can you be so sure?”

“It’s what you hired me for.” I smirk confidently and the President smiles. 

“Go home to your wife.” The President waves me off and leaves through the portico.

I take a moment to look around the room and slowly turn in a circle as if I’m taking it all in for the first time. I can envision Matt in here. And Matt belongs in here. And I will stop at nothing to make sure he gets here.

TBC


	24. When the Bough Breaks

“Donna, dear, I’m sorry to bother you, but I need to talk to you about something.” Mrs. Edelstein tells me in the hallway. “Come in a minute, will you?”

“Is something wrong?” I ask her as I step inside her apartment with her.

“I think there might be.” She admits. “There were some people here a while ago, bothering your…friend…Piper. They were asking her lots of questions and one of them took her picture.” Oh. God. “She wouldn’t speak to them, but they shook her up a bit. I had her in for some coffee until she had her wits about her again.”

“I can imagine.” I mutter. “Thanks, Mrs. Edelstein. I appreciate you looking out for her.”

“It’s a wonderful thing she’s doing for you and Joshua. She shouldn’t be treated that way.”

“I agree. We’ll be putting a stop to that.” I promise. 

“Are YOU doing okay, honey?” She asks with a concerned look on her face.

“Up and down, Mrs. Edelstein.” I admit. “Sometimes I wonder if this just isn’t meant to be.”

“Don’t be silly. If anyone was meant to be parents it’s you and Joshua. You’re wonderful people and you’ve worked so hard to make sure the next generation will have a better life. It’ll happen, Donna, just you wait and see. And when it does? When you have your sweet baby in your arms? All the rest of this will look like nothing.”

“I hope you’re right.” I say softly. “I’d better go check in on Piper.”

She gives me a hug and I walk to our apartment like I’m walking to the gallows. Piper didn’t sign up for this. Handling a press frenzy wasn’t in the contract. What if she’s packing right now?

“Piper?” I call out so as not to alarm her. I’m home a little earlier than usual with Matt out of town this week. 

“Yes?” She calls back, but her voice sounds off.

“Is everything okay? Mrs. Edelstein said there were some people by earlier?”

Piper comes slowly into the living room. “I’m so sorry, Donna. One gentleman asked me directions, then asked me how long I’d lived here and the next thing I knew these blokes just popped up and started asking me questions and taking my picture. I didn’t know what to do!”

“Of course you didn’t! How could you? Did any of them touch you? Hurt you?”

“No, nothing like that. I just didn’t know what to say and now I’m afraid I’ve made trouble for you and Josh.”

“You’re afraid you made trouble for me and Josh?” I laugh. “Oh, Piper, I’m afraid we’ve made trouble for you. I didn’t think this through, you moving in with us. People were bound to notice and Josh is in the middle of a very tight Presidential campaign so everything in his life is under a microscope.”

“I’m so sorry.” She repeats.

“For what?!” I ask.

“Are you barmy? I’ve brought the press down on your heads. If I hadn’t practically forced you to move me in here you wouldn’t be in this position.”

“I hate to break it to you, Piper, but it was the President, not you, that put us all under this scrutiny. I should be apologizing to you for this horrible invasion of your privacy.” I insist.

“Isn’t this going to make terrible trouble for Josh?” She asks.

“Josh handles bigger things than this before breakfast every day.” I tell her. “Though I should probably give him a heads up before he gets blindsided with the question.” I pause. “On second thought, this really is more of a C.J. thing. Yes, definitely a C.J. thing.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Joshua, darling…”C.J. purrs from the doorway. This can’t be good for me. “I have some news that I need to share with you, but I’d like you to keep in mind that it’s really no big deal.” 

“WHAT is no big deal, C.J.? It’s three days before the election. I can’t think of anything that isn’t a big deal three days before the election.”

“This has nothing to do with the election.” She says with a straight face.

“Uh-huh. Then lay it on me. What’s no big deal?”

“There were some reporters that got into your building today and--”

“Somebody hassled Donna?” I stand up and start for the door, but C.J. blocks me. “Seriously, C.J., I thought I made my views on this perfectly clear during the conventions.” Some asshole ‘journalists’ cornered her at the Republican convention and Matt had to intervene. Different asshole ‘journalists’ tried to do the same thing to her at the Democratic convention and they had to deal with the entire senior staff and the Secret Service. I let the word ring forth that Donna was NOT a public figure and would be left alone.

“You did, mi amour, you did. They weren’t hassling Donna. They were hassling your ‘other woman’.”

“Excuse me?” My eyebrows shoot up into my quickly receding hairline.

“A British citizen identified as Piper--”

“Oh, God.” I moan and sit back down.

“Who claimed she’s been living with you for the last couple months--”

“Ceej…”

“I know, Josh, but it’s become a thing, now.” C.J. commiserates.

“You said it was no big deal.” I refute.

“I may have been understating things a bit.” She admits and the line sounds suspiciously familiar.

“Have you spoken to my wife about this?” I ask.

“Which one, Piper or Donna?” She quips.

“That’s NOT funny.”

“It’s a LITTLE funny. She is having your baby.” C.J.’s lips twitch.

I take a deep breath. “CLAUDIA JEAN CREGG!”

“We need to fix this?” She hazards a guess.

“You think?!”

“How would you like to spin this?”

“I DON’T want to spin this! This is my life. My PERSONAL life. Tell them to keep their pretentious, hypocritical noses out of my personal life.”

“Okay…but I don’t think that will play well in Peoria and you’re supposed to be on every channel in America over the next few days spinning the election.”

“Then what do you suggest?” I demand.

“I’ll have a friend in the press pool ask the question and blow it off as a non-story. My dear friend Josh Lyman and his wife are expanding their family with the help of surrogate like many other families all around the country. We wish them all the best. The end.”

“You really think that will work?” 

“I don’t really see how it can fail.” C.J. kisses my forehead. “Your harem of women are both safe and sound at home and I’ll handle the press. Go home and see them while you still can. The next couple days are going to be crazy.”

“What if they’re camped on my doorstep?”

“You smile and nod and remind them to vote for Jed Bartlet in two days.” C.J. advised. “Nothing. Else.”

“Got it.” I sigh. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell kind of deviant lifestyle are you living over there, Lyman?” Matt asks me when I answer my cell on the way home hours after my conversation with C.J. “You Democrats are always pushing the envelope; first gay marriage, then marriage between three people? What’s next?”

“See you think you’re funny, but you’re really not.” I reply.

“Just trying to lighten the mood with a little humor before I go out and commit hari-kari tomorrow.” He tosses back.

“If you’re having second thoughts…” I give him an out. The current plan has him going out to stump for a prominent Democrat tomorrow at which time he’s going to announce he’s leaving the Republican party and changing his affiliation to Independent. I told him I’d join him for the trip, but he doesn’t want to add fuel to the fire. Apparently, I reek of Bartletism and that conjures up too many mixed messages for my friend Matt. I don’t blame him. All of us from the White House are pretty polarizing figures at the moment. It will die down after the election and be all but forgotten by mid-terms, but right now…

“I’m not. It’s the right thing for me to do and the timing will never be better.” I can almost hear him shrug over the phone. “I sent my advance copy to the Majority Leader.”

“Ah, that’s what the earth shaking was that I felt earlier.” Matt is a brave man. I don’t think I would have given the Leader the advanced copy…unless it was just a few minutes in advance of the speech. Now he can make a pre-emptive strike. “I thought you’d decided against that.”

“I re-thought it.” Matt states. “He’ll slam me for it, my press office will respond, and there’ll be a huge press contingent when I make the speech tomorrow.”

“Is Scott going with you?”

“Josh…”

“Hey, you re-thought the other thing so it’s not beyond the realm of possibility--”

“I’d need to tell him about the speech before I could expect him to attend.” Matt mutters.

“Are you kidding me?” I nearly shriek. “You sent the Leader advance copy but you don’t--”

“I just got back from the Middle East a few hours ago and I haven’t even been home yet. I leave first thing in the morning for the California trip and--”

“Matt!”

“I’ll tell him tonight.” He says quietly.

“Are you trying to drive him away, because I’m telling you--”

“You’re going to give ME relationship advice?”

“No.” I decide. “I’m just saying that you moved in with the man and I know that’s not something you do lightly. We can make this work and still get where you want to go, I swear we can.”

“Josh…how’d you like having the most personal parts of your personal life splashed all over the news tonight?” Matt asks me and I have to pause and admit I didn’t. “And that was nothing compared to what would be coming our way; his way. Most people will get behind what you and Donna are doing. Sure, some won’t agree with using a surrogate, but in the end, you and your committed heterosexual wife want a family together so much that you’ll go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to have one. Do you honestly think, for one minute, that Scott and I would ever get that kind of support?”

“Yeah…you know what? I got nothing on that right now.” I admit. Shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi, honey, I’m home.” He calls from the front door. “Or should I say, honeys?

“You’re very clever.” I tell him when I join him in the foyer.

“I know.” He smiles and kisses me thoroughly. “Don’t go to C.J. first next time, okay?”

“I thought under the circumstances, it was the most prudent move.”

“Yeah, probably, but you still could have called me directly.” He points out.

“Did you have a nutty when C.J. told you?”

“A little one.” He holds his thumb and pointer finger an inch or so apart.

“Then I was very prudent to hand it over to C.J.” I smile. “It’s late and I bet you haven’t had anything to eat for dinner. Come with me and I’ll feed you.”

“You will, or Piper will?” He asks cautiously. Last evening’s dinner was called a Chip butty , which turned out to be a white bread sandwich filled with hot French fries and ketchup. I thought it was okay, but Josh was disgusted with the whole thing.

“Piper is out for the evening with a couple friends from school.” I report and his eyes narrow.

“Do we know these friends?” He asks.

“I do. They’re perfectly fine.”

“Are you sure? I could have Mike check them out and--”

“Honestly, Joshua, I don’t know how Mike manages to get anything done with all the checks he’s constantly running for you. They’re fine. They’re just going to a movie, that’s all and I think she needed the distraction. The press thing freaked her out pretty good. I was half afraid she’d bolt and be on a plane back to England by now, but she’s sticking around.” 

“Of course she is. We have a contract.” Josh stipulates as if that’s the end of that.

“I don’t think her contract includes being accosted by members of the American media.” I drawl. 

“Still…she made a deal and she’s not the type to take that lightly…after she read our positive auras and all.” He chuckles.

“You’ve really turned around on this whole thing.” I note.

“Not really. I’ve just gotten to know her better now.” He happily takes the American turkey sandwich from me. “She’s a good kid.”

“Yes, she is.” I agree and take a bite of his sandwich. I’ll let him finish his meal first and then I’ll jump him in the living room. We don’t often get the place to ourselves anymore and I intend to take advantage of it.

TBC


	25. When the Bough Breaks

As I open the door to our apartment, I can’t say I’m that surprised when it hits a suitcase. I sigh heavily as Scott comes into view. 

“I was going to tell you.” I say immediately.

“Uh-huh.” He says, sliding his laptop into its case. “As it turns out, I got to find out from Chris Matthews. Personally, Matt. He called here.”

“He talked to you?” I ask, my eyebrows raise. 

“He did.”

“About?”

“He wanted decorating advice.” He says dryly.

“Scott…”

“What the hell do you THINK he asked me about, Matthew!” He raises his voice and I’m a little stunned…and a lot turned on. “You CHANGED parties! You changed political parties!”

“Yes.”

“Right before the election!”

“Yes.”

“Did Josh have a stroke?”

“Josh knew it was coming.” I cringe.

“Of course he did.” Scott laughs without mirth. “Let me ask you something, does Josh share things with you before he shares them with Donna?”

“Some things.”

“Please.” He scoffs.

“There are things he tells me before her.” I insist. “But on the other hand, Scott, there are things SHE tells me before she tells him, too.”

“So when you were saying you were trying to figure things out politically, this is what you were talking about?” 

“Yes.” I sigh. 

“Chris Matthews asked if I was your partner.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said I was.”

“Past tense?”

“How much more of this am I supposed to take, Matt?”

“It doesn’t look like you’re taking anything anymore, Scott, there’s a suitcase here.”

“The suitcase doesn’t have anything in it yet, Matt.” 

“Oh, it doesn’t?”

“Not yet.”

“I’m prepared to grovel.” I offer.

“I don’t want you to grovel, Matthew; I want you to speak to me. If I’m your partner and you love me so much, I want you to treat me like it. Why do you share all this stuff with Josh --”

“THIS IS NOT ABOUT JOSH!” I finally explode. I’ve really fucking had it with that. “This is not about Josh. This has NEVER been about Josh. I don’t know how to alleviate your paranoia there, but Josh has nothing to do with any of the decisions I’ve made where you and I are concerned. In fact, it’s been Josh all along who’s been on my ass about talking to you.”

“Well, then maybe you should take his advice.” There’s a long charged silence between us before he continues. “Chris Matthews asked me if you were running for President.”

Well, there it is then.

“Yes.” I say simply.

“You didn’t trust me to know that?” He nods as if it’s a foregone conclusion.

“No, that wasn’t it.”

“Then what WAS it, Matthew?”

“I love you, Scott. And because I love you, I was prepared to do anything I had to do to protect you. My life is about to go under a microscope. I have to disclose EVERYTHING. My financial records, my health records, my elementary school grades, my FBI file, the list is a long as my arm! Then there’s you. They’re going to go hunting on you. If you smoked a joint when you were 15, they’re going to find out about it. They’re going to follow you to work, to the store, to my office, to your parents, home. And then, after all that, the death threats are going to start because there’s a lot of people in this country not real wild about you and I living together; just ask Josh, those people shot him!

“If you and I weren’t together, they’ll eventually find you, but it’ll be just to get dirt on me. You don’t know terrified, Scott, until the FBI knocks on your door and shows you letters written by some sicko detailing how he’s going to kill someone you love. How exactly am I supposed to ask you to go through that? To put your family through that? We’re not married, we have no legal commitment to each other, how am I supposed to ask that of you?”

He lets out a long breath and drops down onto the couch. “Well, letting me make up my own mind is a good place to start.”

He pats the cushion next to him and I feel lighter with each step I take towards him. I drop down next to him and put my feet up on the coffee table. 

“Matt,” he says taking my hand in his. “did you really think that without me by your side, or any man for that matter, they weren’t going to notice you’re gay? Did you think you were going to be LESS gay?”

“Well, when you put it like that…”

Don’t I feel like an asshole…

“You, Josh, and Chris get so whipped up into political frenzies and you over analyze everything that you miss for the forest for the trees. You’re gay. They’re going to expect you to have someone in your life. This country is either ready for a gay president or it isn’t.”

“Do you think it is?”

“No, I do not.” He shakes his sandy blonde head and says it so matter of factly, I chuckle. “But someone has to be the first one to try.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watch my gracefully rounding wife lumber into my office. She slowly lowers herself down on my couch, puts her feet up and sighs.

“Feels weird.” She finally says.

“Being that pregnant?” I ask. She glares at me.

“No. Being happy a Democrat won the presidency.”

“Oh, well, it feels good, right?”

“No. Weird, not good. I never said good.”

“Does it feel like you could adjust to it?”

“I’m hungry.” There’s a shock.

“Want me to wheel the buffet table on in? Then you don’t have to get up.”

“Or you could just go get me some food.” 

“I could do that.” I rise out of my chair, cross the office and kiss her on the forehead. “Take a load off for a while there, gumdrop.”

“Ooh…see if they have gumdrops.”

Right. Guess who’s finding a supermarket now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“YOU CHANGED PARTIES!” Chris shouts bursting into my office.

“Yes.” I sigh.

“You left the Republican Party?” He actually sounds pissed about it.

“Yes.” I repeat.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” he demands. He does kind of have a right to be angry, being one of my best friends and members of Congress. 

“I wasn’t sure I was going to do it.”

“My phone’s ringing off the hook.”

“So’s mine.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Do you not support it? There’s one less republican here.”

“I want to know why.”

“Last year I believed in 95 percent of the Republican platform; this year, it’s 85. I have a few liberal influences in my life that have upon occasion caused me to vote another way. Independent is a better description of me, I think.”

“What happened to your life not having to be about you being gay?”

It takes me a second to work that out in my head and I shrug. “I am gay and I was a member of a pretty intolerant party. I can be Independent and still vote with the Republicans on the stuff I believe in and I can vote with the Democrats with a clean conscience.”

He looks at me for a long moment. He’s trying to figure out what’s really going on. I can’t explain why I haven’t brought him in on it yet. I guess I’m a little apprehensive about who he’s been hanging around with lately.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Eleanor,” the President greets as Ellie and I enter the sitting room in the Residence. “fancy seeing you here…on election night of all nights.”

“Jed…” Abbey warns. 

“Agent Casper, would you please excuse us?”

Oh shit. “Yes, sir.”

“Call him Mike, dad.” Ellie says. “And he can stay.” Abbey smiles and raises her eyebrows at me. I look down at my feet to hide my smirk.

“It’s okay, Ellie.” I say quietly. I mean, I don’t want to lose my job here. 

“It is.” She says. “It’s okay for you to stay.”

I look hopelessly at the President; no help there. I look over at the First Lady and she’s grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “You’re in a tough spot, Mike.” She laughs.

“Yes, ma’am.” I agree.

“Listen to Ellie.” She advises. “Believe me when I tell you you’ll be happier in the end.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Abbey.”

“Yes, Abbey.” I drone. She gestures for us to sit on the couch by her, so we do. 

“You finish your residency in a few months.” Her father says. “Any thought to what you’re going to do?” 

“I have some offers.” She says. “Georgetown, GW and Howard have all offered me research positions.” 

“What happened to oncology?” he asks.

“I think I’d be more helpful discovering the cure for cancer than just treating it.” 

I can’t help but smile at that, right then the President slides his gaze over to me and catches me looking at his daughter like some lovesick schmuck.

“And Mike, I don’t suppose you’re being transferred to the Yukon any time soon?”

“No, sir.” I smile back. I can’t blame him. I am a male dating his daughter. 

“I see.” He nods and looks back at Ellie and finally smiles. 

“We were going to go down and join the staff.” Ellie explains. “I just wanted to drop by and tell you in person.”

“Tell me WHAT in person?” He growls looking at me now.

“Down, dad.” She says rolling her eyes. “I just thought you might like to know that I voted for you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s people everywhere. Drinking, singing, dancing, celebrating that we pulled off what I honestly thought was impossible. The good news about this night is far from over though as I push my way through the crowd and into the near deserted bullpen. Donna went to lay down a little earlier. She was exhausted. She was up most of last night explaining the electoral college to Piper while I was stuck here. 

I creep into my office. The lights are off and she’s sound asleep on the couch. I’m loathed to wake her because she’s beautiful when she sleeps, but…well, I have good news. 

“Donnatella.” I call quietly and gently shake her shoulder. 

She stirs a bit and I have to shake her again before she lazily opens her eyes and smiles at me. “Did we win?” she asks in a hoarse voice.

“We sure did.” I smile widely.

“Was it a landslide?”

“Nope.”

“Did he take New Hampshire?”

“Yup.”

“How `bout Wisconsin?”

“No, which you and I will be discussing at a later date.”

“So, you’re not unemployed?”

“Not yet.”

“Congratulations.” She smiles.

“Thanks. It feels good.”

“It should. You guys worked really hard and it’s been a really rough few months.”

“You can say that again.”

“In more ways than one.” She says quietly.

“Speaking of the other way…” I say. “It’s fun having a little role reversal here for a change.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I just talked to Piper.”

Her eyes go wide and she sits up. “What do you mean?”

“Piper’s treatment. It took.”

“Really?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“She’s pregnant?”

“She sure is.”

She squeals and launches herself into my arms where she promptly and predictably bursts into tears.

“How often does the husband get to tell the wife she’s going to have a baby?” I laugh into her shoulder. 

“Are you sure?”

“She said she’ll make an appointment in the morning, but that’s what the test said.” 

“Oh Joshua! I can’t believe it! It’s finally happening.”

“Finally.”

“I love you so much!”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You did. You’ve done so much. I haven’t been easy.” 

“Oh, and I’ve been a picnic?”

“I feel like I’ve put you through so much and asked so much more of you than I had a right to.”

“Donna, I’m your husband, there’s nothing you can’t ask of me.” 

“I’m grateful for you, Josh, everyday.” She whispers gently placing her hand on my face before she kisses the ever loving crap out of me. I should get somebody else pregnant more often. She laughs as she pulls away. She’s so happy right now, she’s radiant. “God! No more shots, no more doctors…well, different doctors. My clothes will finally fit again!”

She hugs me tightly again and I’m caught up in her excitement. All the stuff she just rattled off definitely hasn’t been fun. In fact, it’s come with quite a bit of discomfort and not a little bit of pain for her, too. My end’s pretty easy. I just think about my wife and…you know what? I don’t need to tell you about that. 

“I’m excited.” She smiles when she pulls away.

“Me too.”

“And a little terrified.”

“Oh, me too.”

“We’ll be good at it.” She nods.

“Yup.”

“And that goes for whatever comes next.”

TBC


	26. When the Bough Breaks

“Congressman Wick is here to see you.” Jackie announces. I’ve been dreading this.

“Send him in.” I instruct her and set aside the briefing book I’m taking notes on.

“You busy?’ Chris asks.

“Busy? Why would I be busy? We’ve got 10 days until the Inauguration and a hostile Congress to deal with right out of the gate. I’m basically just coasting for the next four years.” I say sarcastically.

“Great. I’ll take you to lunch.” Chris replies as if he isn’t aware that I was being sarcastic right there, which I know he was.

“Chris…” 

“Lunch; just the two of us.” He qualifies.

“You know I’m married, right?’ I tease.

“Come on. I’m buying.” 

“This is clearly going someplace hysterical.” I note and grab my jacket. “I pick the place then.”

“Fine.” He agrees immediately and my antennae shoot up. This is trouble; mark my words.

I think I surprise him with my choice of a Vietnamese place off campus but he doesn’t complain that it isn’t a ‘see and be seen’ spot in Washington like he’s been frequenting with the she-devil lately. We make small talk about the Inauguration until the food arrives and then he starts.

“We had dinner at the Naval Observatory last night.” 

“How nice for you.” 

“Just tell me this; is your problem with Hoynes or is it with Hoynes taking an interest in my career?” He asks.

“Neither. I simply couldn’t care less.” That’s not completely true. I wish Chris would keep his distance from Hoynes but if I say that it’s sure to drive Chris even closer to him; he’s oppositional like that.

“I don’t believe that. You’re the guy who’s always looking ahead, planning the next move.” 

“And that has what to do with John Hoynes?” I ask.

“Don’t play stupid with me.” He complains. “Bartlet has four years left and then he’s done. Who’s going to take the ball from him? Who’s his natural successor?”

“I’m thinking someone from out west.” 

“Josh…”

“You’re backing Hoynes? Already?” I push.

“Absolutely. And so should you. You know what he’s capable of.”

“Yes, I do.” I laugh. “Better than you, Chris. The man is trouble.”

“The man is a brilliant politician and he’s going to be the Democratic front runner for President.” Chris tells me like this is news to me. “And of all the people in the party he can pick from, he wants you to run it for him.”

“This is a pitch for Hoynes?” I laugh again. “You’re shilling for him, now?”

“We had a…discussion last night. He realizes he made a mistake not listening to you back in the day. He’s learned from his mistakes; all of them, and they won’t be repeated.” He assures me and this, I’m sure, is an allusion to the ever present problem Hoynes has with keeping his hands to himself and off of women he’s not married to.

“Well…that’s encouraging.” I drawl.

“Think about the team you could put together.” He cajoles. “You’d have carte blanche. You could call all the shots and be sitting in Leo’s chair four years from now.”

“Who says I want to be sitting in Leo’s chair four years from now?”

“Please. I’ve known you forever. You’ve always had your sights set on Leo’s chair.”

“That was before.” I tell him.

“Before what?” 

“Before Donna. Before we were expecting a baby.” I shrug. “I’m not sure that’s the right move for me right now.”

“That’s an excuse.” Chris accuses. “What is your problem with Hoynes?”

“I have several, but more importantly, what has got you cheerleading for Hoynes?”

“What do you mean?” He asks casually and picks up another egg roll. He’s not nearly as good at bluffing as he thinks he is. He has tells all over the place; including the fact that he fidgets with his fingers when he’s nervous. You should see how he’s mauling the poor egg roll right now.

“What. Is in this. For you.” I say explicitly. The old Chris might have thrown his weight behind someone because he believed in the guy, but lately, Chris has been all about ‘you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours’ politics.

He thinks about blowing me off. I see it in his eyes. Then just as suddenly, he decides to come clean. “He indicated that with some beefing up of my portfolio over the next three years…” he trails off. He can NOT be saying what I think he’s saying.

“He dangled VP in front of you?” I say incredulously.

“Is that so completely unbelievable?”

“Uh…yes!” 

“Thanks.” He tosses the mangled egg roll on the table.

“Chris, you’re a two term Congressman from CONNECTICUT who, up until the last few months has had very little visibility on the national stage and no major issues or bills that you’ve sponsored. You’ve kept a low profile and towed the party line for the most part. There’s nothing shameful about any of that, but you haven’t been a bright spot in the party either. And let me just say that the fact that you’d believe, for one minute, that Hoynes would consider putting you on the ticket with him, proves that you are not ready for this kind of gig. He is using you and our friendship to hook me into his campaign and once he does, he’s going to have trouble remembering your name.”

“Wow.” Chris scoffs. “Rumors of your ego really are underestimated. Why can’t you conceive of a world where I could be considered for the VP spot?”

“I can, if you make some changes and start taking on the real battles going on in Congress. But not in four years; not even in eight.” I tell him honestly.

“Tell me Josh…Just who are you going to be supporting for President next time around?” He asks with more shrewdness than I’d have given him credit for. Then again, he has been spending a lot of time with Hoynes and Gardner.

I consider telling him I haven’t made up my mind, but immediately discard that idea. It’s going to come out eventually and I’d rather not have a lie between us too. “Matt Skinner.”

“Damn…” Chris holds his hands out like I’ve completely blown him away. “You really are going out on a limb, aren’t you? You’re more interested in making a name for yourself and making waves for the party than anything else.”

“I’ve already got a pretty good name for myself, Chris I-“

“You’d rather run some no chance in hell third party candidate, who’s only going to siphon off votes from the Democrats, than the party’s front runner?”

“He’ll take plenty of Republican votes too. If there’s a person and a time to run a third party candidate, then its Matt and four years from now.”

“The independence party isn’t even on the ballot in all 50 states!” Chris objects.

“Then I guess I’d better get started on that. Glad you brought it to my attention or I’d have been in for a pretty big surprise come Election Day.” I say with my trademark eye roll. “Do you honestly think I haven’t thought this through five ways to Sunday?”

“I don’t think you’re doing much thinking at all.” He stands up and throws down a $20 bill. “That should cover lunch.” Then he walks out without another word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I need my schedule.” Matt complains.

“And I’d love for you to have it. Give me another minute here.” I shout back. Seriously, the man knows I’m doing my best right now. 

“I really thought you would have foreseen this eventuality.” Matt says to me like I’m some sort of psychic.

“Uh-huh.”

“I mean, you have a lot of interaction with all these people.” He continues. “Didn’t ANY of them give you the indication that they might, you know, QUIT, when I decided to change parties?”

“Since that information was SECRET, it really wasn’t anything we discussed at length, no.”

“Ah, yes, I forgot about it being secret.” Matt nods understandingly. “But still, they didn’t give off a vibe or anything?”

“A ‘if Matt turns independent I’m out of here’ vibe?” I throw out.

“Yeah…”

“Not so much, no.” I admit.

“Let’s take inventory then. Who’d we lose?” He asks.

“Your Chief of Staff, both legislative liaisons, your senior research assistant and your scheduler.” I report and his eyes bug out. “Their letters of resignation are on your desk.”

“It’s been a while since the election and they all decided to quit en masses yesterday.”

“It was certainly a well planned assault.” I acknowledge. “That and they needed to find another job first and they needed to wait for the new Republicans to get in town and start hiring.”

“That makes more sense.” He smirks at me. “Now we’ve got to go poaching for staff.”

“We?”

“Well…you.”

“I’VE got to go poaching for staff?”

“I was thinking you could take over as Chief of Staff, and then as COS you’d be responsible for filling the other staff openings.” He tosses out like it’s no big deal.

“Chief of Staff? Have you gone mad?” 

“There is plenty of evidence of that lately.” He mutters. “Why not COS? You know me, you know the other players in Congress, and you’ve been living with Lyman for two years; that’s like a Master’s program in political maneuvering.”

“Let me get this straight. You’re stating that my major qualification for COS is that I live with Josh?” I repeat.

“I mentioned that THIRD, but it certainly is a qualification.”

“I don’t think-“

“Let’s say interim COS for now and we’ll re-visit it in a few weeks after we’ve both had a chance to try it out.” 

“Matt…” I pause and get up to shut the door. “Matt I know what your plans are four years from now. Your COS is going to need to be on top of a hell of a lot more than bills and Congressional vote schedules.”

“First of all, you’d be COS of the Congressional office, not the campaign. Secondly, I need to get re-elected as an Independent in the mid-terms before anything else can happen. And thirdly, if and when we switch into national campaign mode, Josh will be running that show, and who better to partner with him out of our office than you?”

“Matthew!” Josh calls from the office lobby. Speak of the devil. The door bangs open. “Where the hell is everyone?”

“We’re having some staffing issues.” Matt tells him.

“Apparently. Did you know your COS was shopping his resume around?” Josh asks.

“I kind of figured he must have been considering he tendered his resignation.” Matt replies.

“That would be a clue, yes.” Josh agrees. “Who are you going to replace him with?”

“Your wife.” Matt informs him.

“Right.” Josh laughs. Matt makes this grimacing face and motions with his head over to where I’m sitting behind my husband…and out of his view up until now. “Hey…I didn’t see you there, babe.”

“No?!” I mock him. He leans in to kiss me and I swat him with my scheduling book.

“I was just going to give you a kiss.” He protests.

“Right.” I say in the same mocking tone he’d just used and leave the jerk alone with my boss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You are so dead.” Matt shakes his head sadly at me.

“I’m making friends all over the place today. I just had lunch with Chris.” I admit.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“He cornered me about Hoynes. Apparently, Hoynes and Gardner have been filling his ears with talk of being on the ticket in four years if I’m running the campaign for them.” I relay.

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“I wish I was. I came clean about your plans, or, our plans for you and he was mighty pissed. I thought you should know as soon as possible so they don’t blindside you with it.” I explain.

“Thanks, but I can handle whatever little grasshopper sends my way.”

“Yes, but he’s playing with Hoynes and Gardner now.” I remind him.

“Don’t remind me.” He protests. “Plus, if they can swat me out of the way, they have a pathway to get you on board with them.”

“No, they really don’t.” I shake my head in the negative.

“I know that, but they might not see it that way.” Matt expounds. “Thanks for the heads up. You’d better go make up with your wife.”

“Yeah.” I agree. “Will we see you later at the thing tonight in the East room?”

“Yes, Scott and I will be there.” He informs me and my face must show my shock that he’s taking Scott with him to a political event. “Don’t look at me like that. I promised that I’d include him more; that we’d be partners in public and private.”

“Good.” I smile happily. “Very good. Now let’s see if I can make the same deal with my wife. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck…you’re gonna need it.” Matt quips.

I find my beautiful wife in her office studying something intently. “Is this stimulus plan your idea?” She asks without looking up.

“It’s a team thing.” I reply.

“It’s never going to pass with all these amendments attached.” She opines. 

“The President didn’t attach the amendments.” I point out.

“No, the President’s party did though.” She sighs. “It’s gonna cost you some votes.”

“It’ll gain us some votes too.” I counter.

“I’d be good as COS.” She says out of the blue…a bit.

“You know, I think you would.” I nod.

“You’re just saying that now because you mocked the idea earlier and you’re afraid that’s going to cost YOU!”

“There is that.” I admit. “But honestly? It kind of caught me by surprise. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. You practically run this office anyway and you’ve got good instincts.”

“Do you mean that, or are you just sucking up?”

“I really mean that.” I tell her sincerely, and I do. “I’m sorry I reacted poorly earlier.”

“Okay.” She allows. “Piper called and she’s set up for her ultra sound on the 19th at 4:30” 

“Donna, that’s the day before --”

“I know what the date is for Inauguration, Joshua.” She cuts me off. “Look, if it’s not that important to you, you don’t have to come.” Like I’m that stupid! Or like I don’t want to be there when we get the first peek at our child!

“No, no. I’ll be there. We’ll be there together.” I promise and pull her up to standing so we’re nose to nose. “I can’t wait to see him.” I just have this feeling the baby is a boy. I can’t explain it, I just know it’s a boy!

“Her.” Donna corrects me. She is equally adamant that it is a girl.

“Whatever you say, Donnatella.” I roll my eyes and steal a kiss.

“Fifty bucks.” She states the terms of the wager and sticks her hand out to shake mine.

“Okay, you’re on.” I shake it decisively and then just for the hell of it, I steal another kiss. Inauguration week is going to be very exciting.

TBC


	27. When the Bough Breaks

“Un-be-freaking-leivable.” Josh mutters as we walk back to the ultrasound room. He’s a little unhappy about the time of the ultrasound. I tried to get an appointment yesterday or tomorrow, but they were all booked up. “There were NO other times they could have done this?” He looks at me.

“Well, yes, Josh.” I say. “They had a noon appointment, but I figured you were going to be bloody busy then, so I scheduled the evening one.” 

“I’m sorry.” He says when he hears my tone. My mum would be so proud of me, staring down the President of the United States’ advisor like this. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to, as Donna says, get in his face. “It’s just…it’s really hard to catch back up with the motorcade, believe me.” 

“A dapper dressed bloke like you should have no problem hailing a cab.” I say as the doctor leads us into the exam room.

“Well, I didn’t realize we had to dress for the occasion.” The doctor quips looking over at Josh and Donna’s fine attire.

“We’re going to eight balls.” Josh replies, looking down at his phone, while I hop up on the table and Donna helps me. “Well, probably six at this point.” 

“You work for the government?” the doctor asks. I’m constantly surprised at how many people know Josh and how many people don’t.

Josh looks at her for a moment, but one glare from Donna squelches anything he was going to say. “Yes.” He says simply and pushes his phone to his ear. “Toby…” he says into his phone and then steps out. 

Men are so different than woman. There was no way he’d miss the appointment, but there’s no way Donna’s going to miss a single second of it. 

“Sorry, Piper.” Donna says helping me with the pillow under my head. “He’s got a lot of people to meet with tonight.”

“It’s all right, Donna.” I smile as the doctor lifts my shirt and lubes up the ultrasound wand. 

“Whoo! Cold.” I smile up at Donna as it makes contact with my skin and doctor begins to move it around.

“Josh, get in here!” Donna calls and Josh pops immediately through the curtain and over to Donna’s side.

“What am I looking at?” he asks.

“Right here.” The doctor says, pointing at the screen. 

I frown as I listen to the heart rate. That doesn’t sound like before. 

“Something’s not right.” I say.

“What? What’s wrong?” Donna demands. 

“The heart beat…” I say. “It sounds a tad bit…erratic.” 

“Not all.” The doctor smiles, looking away from the screen. “It sounds just fine; just the thing you want to hear from two healthy heartbeats.” 

“TWO!?” Donna, Josh and myself all chorus in astonishment. Twins?

“JOSH!” Donna yelps, and she catches him right before he would have hit the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“All right, don’t laugh!” she calls from behind the closed door. I roll my eyes. “And don’t roll your eyes either! I’m really nervous.” Wow, that was really spooky. How’d she do that? 

“Eleanor,” I sigh through the closed door in the Residence. “you’ve been in there FOREVER!” Thank God, the President’s got all the pomp and circus stuff he has to go through because no way would I be this loud with him around. 

“I just… I don’t like these things.” 

“What things?” 

“These gowns. They’re just…is there any way I can get out of this?” 

“Eleanor. Millicent. Bartlet. Get your hot ass out here now.” I’m just about to kick the damn door in when it opens slowly. When she emerges, I’m astounded. My eyes bug out of my head, my heart stops beating and my jaw drops. There are other physical reactions, too, but I’m a gentleman. Well, I’m not a gentleman, but I am trying to be more of one. 

Her hair is up and there are little rings coming down around her beautiful face. Her necklace is enormous and I’m pretty sure borrowed. Good thing I have my gun. That thing has to be worth more than I make in a year. 

The dress is strapless, which I’m only happy about because in addition to my gun, we’re traveling with armed guards tonight. The black satin dress is sexy as all hell, clinging to all my favorite parts and shows off her flawless figure. 

After a minute or two of me staring at her like she’s a piece of meat, she finally can’t take it anymore.

“Michael, say something!” 

“Eleanor, will you marry me?” 

Okay, so I wasn’t expecting to say THAT! I mean, I think ‘you look beautiful’ would be more appropriate here.

“What?” she gasps.

“Ellie, marry me.”

Look at that. I said it again. 

“Mike! What…seriously?” 

I’m finally able to pry my feet out of the cement they seem to be stuck in and walk over to her. Her eyes are wide and she’s rooted to the floor. One hand slides over her smooth hip and the other comes up to cup her cheek. Her eyes go from surprised to…oh, I know that look. We just might be late tonight.

“Say yes, Ellie.” I say and kiss her. When I pull away, there’s tears in her eyes. “I wasn’t sure until just this second and I don’t even have a ring, but it’s so clear to me right now, in this moment, that there is NO ONE else on this planet for me. Please say you’ll marry me.”

“Yes.” She smiles.

“Really?” Wow, I’m stunned.

“You didn’t think I’d say yes?”

“No, I didn’t.” It’s out of my mouth before I can stop it.

“Wait a minute. You didn’t ask me because you thought I’d say NO did you?” she quickly changes gears. I’m rubbing off on her in a big way I think because she has no problem letting me have it now when she’s pissed. 

“I thought you’d say no because I didn’t think I was lucky enough for you to say yes.” I say. 

She raises her eyebrows in surprise. “Well, guess what, Agent Casper.” She says and pokes me in the chest. “You’re getting married.”

“It’s not going to be here, is it?”

“Probably.” She sighs heavily. “If my father lets you live until the wedding day.”

I grin widely, take her wrist and pull her flush up against me. “I can’t stop touching this dress.” 

“Are you going to be indecent tonight?” 

“Probably.” I leer. She sighs dramatically, but I know it’s just for show. “Seriously, Ellie, I love you so much. You’ve softened my edges. Even when I’m not in your presence, I don’t swear, and you’re brilliant and you’re going to make more money than me, so I’m not at all sure what I’m actually offering you here…”

“You’re a lot sweeter than you’d like to think.” She says softly and kisses me. 

“Let’s just keep that between me and you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

I’m just about to lean in and kiss her when a noise to my right gets my attention. 

Zoey’s standing there in a gown, with her hair in rollers and tears streaming down her face. “Well, that was just the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard!” 

“The President is going to go crazy on your ass!” Charlie appears by her side and smiling widely. 

I sigh heavily and Ellie smiles softly at me and then chuckles. “Welcome to the family!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I grab Mike and drag him into the hallway and out of ear shot.

“There’s two of them.” I say quickly at the same time he says. “I’m getting married.”

“What?”

“What?”

“I’m having twins.”

“I got engaged.”

“You PROPOSED!?” I practically shriek. 

“Hey, Maria Callas, bring it down a bit.” 

“How do you even know who that is?”

“With all the time YOU spend around the President, how can you even ask that?”

“Fair point.” I say and tug on my collar a bit. “I didn’t know you were going to propose.”

“Neither did I.” 

“What?”

“She looks hot as hell. As soon as I saw her, it just slipped out.” 

“You meant it, right?” 

“If I didn’t promise her I’d behave, I’d punch you in the stomach right now.” 

I smirk slowly. “Then you’ll have to tell the President why you did that.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“I’ve been called far worse than that.”

“By one of your best friends, it seems.” He tosses out there. 

“You can tell me tomorrow what he’s saying. I don’t want to hear it tonight.”

“Wait, did you say you were having twins?”

“Yeah, boy and a girl.”

“That’s incredible! Congratulations!” He gives me a quick hug but it does nothing to soothe the completely terrified feeling I have since we found out. I mean, two kids! That’s a FAMILY!

“You have to find him and tell him that. He’ll want to hear that.”

“Chris doesn’t want to hear anything that doesn’t have something to do with his career, believe me.” 

“Well, you’re going to have to work this out before my wedding.” I say. 

“You sound like a girl.”

“I don’t fight like one.” He glares at me, but I can’t help but smile at him. I can’t believe he’s marrying the President’s daughter. CJ’s going to freak when she finds out. 

“Did you break the news to the President and First Lady yet?” 

“Ellie didn’t want to take the spotlight away tonight.” 

“Ellie doesn’t want him to make an announcement in a ballroom full of people.” I counter.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much the way of it.” He nods. 

I glance over to where Donna and Ellie are standing. They are the epitome of girlfriends sharing good news. They have their hands clasped together between them and they keep hugging. It’s a nice scene, especially if you’re privy to the news they’re sharing. 

Unbeknownst to them though, the sweet scene of these two new friends with so much good things before them is darkened as I see the Vice President has arrived. He walks right behind them, looks over at me and nods on his way into the ballroom. 

I feel my body tense up because not surprisingly, Chris and Amy are right behind the V.P.’s secret service detail. And a moment that was just filled with happiness and anticipation deflates a bit as it’s overshadowed by the darker times that are to come.

TBC


	28. When the Bough Breaks

~Six months later~

I hesitate before I go in and it truly pains me that I even hesitate. We used to be so close and share everything. There’d have been a day, not too long ago, that I would’ve just busted in there without even thinking about it. Today, though, I thought about it in my office, again on the way over here, and now once more before I go in it seems. 

I’m sorry for the wedge that I seem to have driven between Josh and Chris. That was never my intention, and I’m sure if Josh were here he’d remind me that the distance between us now is Chris’ choice not ours, but Josh is otherwise occupied right now…which leads me right back to what I’m doing here.

“Hey, Lydia.” I greet his receptionist. “Can I see him for a minute?”

“Sure Congressman, he’s just having lunch with Ms. Gardner.” She reports. Perfect. I make sure to keep the smile plastered on my face when I tell her thanks. I knock three times in quick succession before I let myself in. Yeah, they’re eating lunch, but it appears to be a working lunch. They’re sitting across from each other with the table, and a ton of papers, spread out between them. 

Maybe this is why I have trouble accepting them as a couple; it’s so obviously about business with them. I don’t doubt that Chris is attracted to Amy physically and vice versa. They’re both bright, attractive people. But when I see them like this it just makes me sad. Sometimes, Josh has lunch with Donna in my office, and while they’re never inappropriate, you can just look at them and see they’re in love. They sit closely together, they share their food, and there’s all this unspoken communication between them; looks and touches. There’s nothing like that in this room.

“Sorry to interrupt.” I begin. “Josh just called. Piper is in labor and Josh asked me to spread the word.”

Chris frowns, looking worried. “Isn’t this a little early?”

“A couple weeks, but apparently that’s not unusual with twins.” I tell him what Josh told me. I’m heartened by the fact that he seems concerned about the babies. It’s the most emotion I’ve seen him display regarding Josh for months. “They’re guestimating we’ll be able to meet the babies before dinner.”

Chris nods.

“I thought maybe we could ride over to the hospital together.” I suggest.

“Sorry, I can’t.” He answers quickly. “I’ve got a thing at 2:30 I can’t reschedule.”

“We could go after that.” I offer. Come on, Chris, meet me halfway here.

“I don’t know how long it will take.” He turns me down flat. “You’d better just go ahead without me. Tell them congratulations for me.”

“Sure…okay.” I agree and back out the door. “Talk to you later Chris, Amy.” 

This was clearly a bad idea…but I had to try. I can’t believe he’s going to miss this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ellie…come on! We’re going to miss it!” I complain.

“We’re not. It takes a long time, Michael.” She tells me. “Sometimes, a woman can be pushing for hours! And with twins it will be even longer before Josh will get to cut the cords.”

“Okay, you don’t need to spoil me with the details. I just want to be there when the babies are born.” 

“Mike, you’re an F.B.I Agent. You deal with trauma situations all the time. Don’t tell me childbirth makes you squeamish.”

“All right…I won’t tell you.” I make her laugh. 

“You’re not planning on leaving me alone in the delivery room when it’s our turn are you?”

“Uh…no?” 

“Mike!”

“It will be different when it’s our baby.” I hope. “Can we please go now?”

“We can’t go until I’ve finished wrapping the baby gifts. We can’t go to the hospital without baby gifts.” Ellie declares.

“Ellie, I’ve known both Josh and Donna longer than you. Trust me when I tell you that they’re only going to have eyes for the babies and won’t even notice us let alone the lovely gift wrapped packages you’re putting together.” I tell her, but she just gives me this look that tells me we ain’t going to the hospital without the gifts…wrapped in this…duckling paper. I pick up the tape and start handing her pieces of it in attempt to speed things up. I don’t care what she says, I don’t think it’s going to take that long and I’m not going to miss it.

 

“Can’t you give her something else?” I ask. “I don’t think the epidural thing is working.”

“It’s alright, Josh.” Piper laughs between contractions.

“It’s clearly not.” I argue. “You’re obviously in pain and that’s…not good.”

“I’m afraid there isn’t a completely painless option.” She tells me. 

“Would some more ice chips help?” Donna offers. 

“I can go get some more.” I volunteer.

“No, I don’t want anymore.” She hisses out a breath. “This is going to be over soon.”

“Not soon enough.” I mutter and Donna glares at me. “What?”

“Okay, Piper, you’re set to start pushing.” Dr. Matthews tells her and she nods and tries to sit forward a bit to push with the next contraction. I know this stuff since we went to the childbirth classes together. Let me tell you, the three of us got some odd looks at first, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go back for night number two, but right now, I’m very glad Donna made me go with them. Really it was more for Donna and me. Piper’s already been through this…TWICE! Why would any woman voluntarily go through this a third time…with twins?!

Donna and I both try to support her shoulders while she pushes and I’m feeling nine kinds of guilt that Piper is going through this for us, but then Dr. Matthews says something incredible.

“Great job, Piper, I can see the head. One more push and you should have the head out.”

Oh. My. God!

Piper grunts and groans and I hear a wail. That’s my child…well, one of my children, crying. Donna’s eyes meet mine and I’m sure the tears coming down her face look exactly like mine. We’re about to become parents. Somehow, through this miracle of science, Donna and I made two babies that were able to grow in another person entirely and we’re about to meet them. I think I’m going to faint. 

“Another big push, Piper, that’s it.” Dr. Matthews encourages her. “Josh…Donna…Want to come and meet your daughter?” Donna covers her mouth with her hand and I nod for her to go ahead. She walks to the foot of the bed slowly and gasps. 

“She’s beautiful!” Donna cries. 

“Go on, Joshua.” Piper pushes me toward the baby while she leans back to rest a moment. The nurses are wiping our daughter off cause there’s all this goo all over her which under other circumstance would probably gross me out, but all I can focus on right now are my daughter’s beautiful blue eyes; the same eyes as her mother.

“Hi there, gorgeous.” I say softly. “I’m Dad.” Donna laughs. Then the doctor hands me some scissors to cut the cord. “Do I have to?” Now the doctor laughs at me.

“No, Josh, you don’t have to.” 

“Then I’d rather not.” I decide. Everyone says that cutting the cord doesn’t hurt the baby or the woman giving birth, but I’m not taking any chances. The doctor cuts the cord and then hands the baby to the nurse who takes her to the tiny bassinette waiting for her so she can be weighed and measured. I’m about to ask if the shot the nurse is going to give her is completely necessary, when Piper’s moans distracts me. That’s right! We’re not done yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What can I do?” I ask helplessly while Piper struggles to deliver my son. Surprise, surprise; this child seems to be a little more stubborn about coming out of his nice warm, and now without his sister inside, roomy womb. This is definitely Josh’s child.

“Nothing.” Piper pants out. “I just need…to rest…a minute…”

I help her lean back and wipe her forehead with the cold washcloth.

“Why is this one taking so much longer?” Josh asks.

“Sometimes, it just takes longer.” Dr. Matthews tells him.

“Millions of dollars we’ve spent on medical research in this country and that’s all you’ve got for me? ‘Sometimes, it just takes longer’?” Josh complains. I’d apologize on his behalf but Dr. Matthews has gotten to know Josh pretty well over the course of this pregnancy so he just laughs it off. 

“Your son is apparently more difficult than your daughter.” Matthews amends his statement. “Wherever might he have gotten that trait from?” Piper and I share a chuckle. 

“Sure, blame the man. That’s very popular in the delivery room. I learned that in childbirth class.” Josh smarts back.

“I just didn’t want you to feel left out, Josh.” Matthews continues to tease him which seems to have distracted him from how long it’s taking our son to make his appearance. 

“Your daughter measures 18 inches and weighs 5 pounds, 3 ounces.” The nurse announces from the other side of the room. 

“That’s good, right?” Josh asks.

“That’s very good for a twin.” She replies. “Piper obviously took very good care of herself and these little ones for you.”

“Yes. Yes, she did.” I agree and squeeze Piper’s hand. I was kind of afraid of the reaction we’d get from the hospital staff during this process, but everyone has been simply wonderful. And they were wonderful before Dr. Bartlet stopped in to check on us too, so I don’t think it was just because of her.

“Ready, Piper?” Dr. Matthews asks. I assume it’s rhetorical because I don’t think she has much choice here. Nonetheless, Piper nods and sits up to push…again.

It takes much longer this time and Josh has to go over to check on our daughter at several points during the birth of our son…just to check. Finally, at 5:41 pm, our son comes into the world kicking and screaming; his face bright red from the effort. He looks just like Josh after he’s been wailing on some Freshman Republican Congressman. He looks just like Josh, right down to the dimples both our children have been blessed with; except for his eyes, which are blue like mine. 

Josh again declines to cut the cord but walks right over with our son to the bassinette to introduce him to his sister. I clamp down on the urge to remind him that they’re well acquainted with one another having shared tight quarters for months. The moment is just too sweet to interrupt. He motions me over to him and after checking to make sure Piper is okay, I join him in front of the bassinettes holding our children.

“Look, Donna, we have a family.” He says in wonder. I think about what Mrs. Edelstein told me almost a year ago; that once we were holding our children, none of what happened before would matter in the least. She was right to a certain extent. The shots, the harvesting of the eggs, and the disappointment when Piper didn’t get pregnant right away, that’s all starting to fade in my memory already. But looking at these beautiful babies, part of my heart breaks just a little thinking of the child we lost. I can’t help it.

Josh brings my hand, clasped in his, to his mouth for a kiss and I can see he knows what I’m thinking. “Dad is taking good care of her.” He promises me and I lose it. I just sob.

“Donna?” Piper calls to me in concern.

“She’s fine, Piper.” Josh tells her and nudges me to lift my head which I do, and offer Piper a watery smile.

“Your son is 17 inches long and weighs 4 pounds and 15 ounces.” The nurse tells us.

“You hear that kiddo? You’ve got some work to do to catch up to your sister.” Josh advises him. I walk slowly back to Piper who’s looking positively exhausted. The medical team is still taking care of her so I walk around them and sit in the chair beside her so I can take her hand again.

“I don’t know how to--” My voice breaks. “How can you possibly thank someone enough for the gift of one child, let alone two?” I ask her. “You’ve given us a family that we could have never had on our own. I will be eternally grateful to you.” I confess and she squeezes my hand in a silent reply. 

“They’re very fortunate children to have such wonderful parents.” She whispers and we both dissolve in tears. Piper has become a member of our family too. She moved in with us to our new house and we converted one of the back bedrooms so that she’d have a little more privacy than she was afforded in our old place. Once she’s released from the hospital, her obligations and ours, are over, but she’s coming back to stay with us while she recovers. If we have our way, she’ll continue to stay with us while she finishes her Masters here in the fall. 

Josh comes over to join us. “They’re going to move the babies next door so you can get some well deserved rest now.” He tells us. “But we’ll be back frequently to check and see if there’s anything you need. You can always call my cell if you need anything too, right?” Josh has come a long way with Piper; from suspicion and subtle hostility to adopting her as a younger sister. I know he’s as grateful to her as I am.

“I’m guessing I’ll sleep for hours now.” Piper confesses.

“You’ve earned it.” He smiles. “You were amazing through this whole thing. I can’t thank you enough for my family. Sleep now.” He orders her and kisses her forehead. We follow the bassinettes next door and settle into matching rocking chairs, each of us holding a child. We’ve divided ourselves by sex; I’m holding our daughter and Josh is holding our son. I imagine once our parents arrive, we won’t get this much holding time with them, so we’re both taking advantage of it now.

There are a few minutes of peaceful silence, and then it vanishes with a puff of smoke as our friends descend on us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stand back a minute and watch the myriad reactions of each person that comes in the room to see the Lyman children. They are, predictably, beautiful and nobody has been able to pry them out of their parents’ hands yet, although the guests are clearly itching to do so. My money is on Ainsley. Our daughter is at home with a sitter so her arms are free, and Ainsley has the upper hand on the rest of us being that she’s family. 

“Donna, I have to hold her. Please?” Ainsley bats her eyes and Donna reluctantly hands over the child. What did I tell you? “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”

“Ainsley Hayes Seaborn, these are your cousins, once removed, Briana Joan and Noah Thomas.” Donna says formally. I swear the little girl opens her eyes to see who’s holding her now. Lord, she’s got Donna’s eyes. That’s the end of Josh. He’ll never be able to say no to her. I can’t take it anymore.

“My turn.” I announce and move forward.

“I just got her.” Ainsley refuses. “Get Noah from Josh.” Not being picky, I turn to do as instructed and I’m not sure Josh is going to hand him over at first. 

“Come on.” I cajole him. “I know how to hold a baby. I’ve had lots of practice now.”

He carefully lifts Noah into my waiting arms. I can’t believe how tiny he is! “You better not break him.” He threatens me.

Soon, CJ wrests him from me and I’m childless again. “They’re beautiful, Josh.” I tell him. “How are you feeling?”

“Overwhelmed.” He laughs. “Going from no children to two children in the space of one hour is a lot to take in.”

“I bet.” I laugh and put an arm around his shoulder. I see two Secret Service Agents at the door surveying the scene and at first I think Dr. Bartlet is making a return appearance, but to my shock, it’s the Vice President who comes in with them.

“Josh! I hear congratulations are in order.” He smiles and shakes Josh’s hand. 

“Thank you, sir.” Josh’s tone is affable enough but there’s something lacking in the exchange…warmth maybe. “I didn’t expect you to take time from your busy schedule to come down here.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” He tells us. “Donna, these children are gorgeous. It’s so lucky they got your genes.”

“There seems to be a little of their father in there too, Mr. Vice President, wait until you hear them wail.” Donna informs him and again I notice a…tone. Hoynes asks what their names are and Donna tells him, but he doesn’t ask for a turn to hold either of them. He simply passes along two baby gift bags, offers his congratulations again, and leaves as unceremoniously as he had arrived.

I look back over at Josh to see what he made of that whole interaction just in time to intercept a look between him and Matt Skinner who is patiently waiting for his turn with one of the children. Interesting…I turn back toward the babies when I hear laughter. Ellie is trying to coach Mike in how to hold Noah and Mike is nervously trying to comply with her directions without dropping the child.

Toby is running a single finger down the side of Briana’s face and saying something to her in a low voice. Scott is talking to Donna about the meaning of the babies’ names. I take another survey of the room and realize who’s missing from the group. I walk casually over to Matt who has finally gotten his turn to hold one of the children. 

“You look like a pro with him.” I comment.

“Lots of nieces and nephews.” He replies.

“Did you…get a hold of Chris?” I ask in a low voice and he nods sadly. 

“I asked him if he wanted to come to the hospital with me; he didn’t. Maybe he’ll stop by later when he figures I’m gone.” Matt suggests. 

“Maybe.” I agree. But it’s a crock of shit. This has gone on long enough. These guys have been friends for too long, and gone through too much together to have it all fall apart over politics. “He needs a swift kick in the--”

“Not in front of the baby.” Matt interrupts me and makes me chuckle.

“Right.” I can’t resist running a hand over the curly hair on Noah’s head. Josh joins us again.

“Hand him over.” He orders Matt.

“I just got him.” Matt protests.

“So did I. Hand him over.” Josh insists and literally pries the child from his friend’s arms. “I’m not sure even a FORMER Republican should be handling my child.”

“Ainsley’s a Republican.” Matt points out.

“She works for a Democrat and she’s family.” Josh argues while he jiggles his son in an age old rhythm parents seem to know intuitively.

“We should clear out and give them a little time alone with the babies.” Ainsley tells me and the rest of our group gets the hint. We start to file out just as Leo and the Bartlets arrive. 

“Take care of these precious children.” I tell Josh as we walk out. “If you need anything, just call.”

“Thanks, Sam, Ains.” He smiles tiredly and kisses Ainsley goodbye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watch Leo’s eyes tear up when I tell him my son’s name and neither of us is able to speak for a moment.

“I’m honored.” He says quietly and I place Noah Thomas into the arms of one of his namesakes. 

President Bartlet thumps me on the back a couple times. “You have two amazing children, Joshua.”

“Yes, sir.” I agree. “And an amazing wife to go with them.” All three of us look over at where Donna and Dr. Bartlet are huddled with Briana Joan.

“We are lucky men.” President Bartlet concurs. 

“Mallory said to tell you she’d come by tomorrow after school and sends her love.” Leo tells me.

“She’s probably wise to wait until tomorrow.” The President offers. “Given the size of the crowd that just left here, she’ll have better luck getting some time with the babies then.”

“It looks like the whole gang stopped by.” Leo adds. 

“Almost…” I nod. “Almost the whole gang.” 

Leo, who knows the saga that is my friendship with Chris, gets my meaning immediately. “Would you like a turn with this handsome young man, Mr. President?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” Jed Bartlet rubs his hands together and scoops Noah up expertly in his arms. “Look who I’ve got here, Abigail.”

“For God’s sakes, Jed, don’t drop him.” Abby teases and I have to remind myself that the President has successfully raised three daughters and handled several grandchildren without injuring any of them…that I know of. I put my hands in my jean pockets to keep myself from grabbing my child back from the leader of the free world. 

Leo puts an arm around me. “You did great, kid.” He tells me. “Your dad is surely smiling down on this picture.”

“Yeah…” I watch Donna chat with the President and First Lady. It’s hard to believe that my wife was once very nervous around them; she looks perfectly relaxed and comfortable with them now. Of course, part of that could be due to the fact that she can hardly keep her eyes off our children. I confess I’m having trouble tearing my eyes away myself.

“He’ll come around.” Leo tells me quietly. He means Chris I’m sure, and since I don’t want to discuss it right now, I simply nod. “Seriously, Josh, you guys have been through hell and high water together. This will pass. Sometimes, in politics, friendships get caught in the middle. But I have no doubt he’ll get over his snit and things will be back to normal in no time.”

“It’s been months already, Leo.” 

“Yeah…” He sighs. “Mr. President, these two looked exhausted before we got here. We should let them get some rest while they can.”

“Fine, ruin my fun.” President Bartlet complains and easily moves Noah from his arms to mine. “Congratulations, Josh.”

“Thank you Mr. President.” 

“Get some sleep, Joshua. Lord knows you won’t be getting very much for the next few weeks.” Dr. Bartlet kisses my cheek and leaves with her husband. 

“It will all work out, Josh.” Leo promises and in that moment, I believe him. Once our guests are safely out the door, I walk next door to peek in on Piper. She’s still sound asleep so I return to Donna and Briana who are cuddling in the bed together. I slide in next to her and just enjoy the sensation of holding my entire family at once for the very first time.

Yes, I’m troubled that things have deteriorated so much between Chris and I that he couldn’t even bring himself to come over and see my children. I won’t lie; it hurts. But at the moment I have much more important matters to contemplate. Like how am I going to take care of two infants right now and afford to send them to Harvard in the future?

“Stop worrying, Joshua.” Donna tells me without opening her eyes. “The future will take care of itself and right now all is right with the world.”

I know she’s right. I close the distance between us and kiss her gently. Her eyes open slowly. “I love you so much.” I confess. “I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

“How lucky we are.” She corrects me with a smile. “I love you too.”

We’ve each got several weeks of maternity/paternity leave coming and I anticipate spending each and every one of them just like this. 

The End…until Part Three!


End file.
